How to broach a tricky subject?

Aggie,re itchy ears.I have hearing aids and my ears get annoyingly itchy. I’ve tried different drops and creams but have found Cedis Gel really helps. Boots recommend it. Sold on Amazon and online pharmacies

Curlywhirly

I always wondered why people get offended when someone suggests that their hearing is deteriorating. After all when we need glasses, we happily go along to the opticians. I myself have noticed that I now am having difficulty hearing some things, and realise that I must make an appointment to get it sorted, but I'm not the least bit offended if someone mentions it to me, why would I be? It's not something to be ashamed of!

People get offended both when their hearing loss is mentioned and if you query their eyesight, if they either have not noticed that they no longer hear or see as well as they did.

Another reason could be that they do know they no longer hear as well /see as well as formerly, but they don't want to admit it because they see these things as "old peoples' ailments" and they do not want to admit they are old.

In either case, you risk hurting or offending the other person by remarking on their apparent diminished sight or hearing, but if you do not do so, they time will come when you no longer dare accept a lift from them and you will find yourself constantly having to repeat whatever you just said.

Update. On a recent car journey with this friend it came up naturally about wax in the ears ( I forget how ) and I know friend had trouble with wax so I just said it is a good idea to get it checked and my optician now offers this service.
I left it there but later I got a lift with the couple and her husband obviously has worse hearing problems. I bet the TV is on very loud in their house!

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It's a tricky one and it does depend on someone's personality.
I have finally persuaded my OH to get his hearing tested and we go this month. He is definitely having problems as he misses whole slices of the plot on some TV that we watch together and often is oblivious to some things that I've said beyond the usual tactical deafness.
I tried the tack " you're not deaf , if you should need a hearing aid you will just be getting some help with your ears in the same way that you're not blind.... it's just that your spectacles give you some help with your eyes....." . He seemed to listen to that ??
Possibly some GNs would consider that rather tactless.... it wasn't meant that way obviously.!!!!

Cossy

You could actually suggest that you both book a hearing test and go together. In that way she won’t feel “single out” or in way embarrassed.

Great idea.......suggest you both go together and make out that you need the moral support. You might add that you are concerned that either of you might not hear an oncoming vehicle when crossing the road or you might both miss something important at your regular meetings.

aggie

I wear hearing aids , they are a great help , I bought them as I was told there is a long waiting list for NHS aids
I am having problems with them now making my ears itchy ! Can anyone suggest a solution ?
I did get a spray of olive oil but this just clogged up my aids

They make mine horribly itchy and bright red, too.

I wear hearing aids , they are a great help , I bought them as I was told there is a long waiting list for NHS aids

Went to GP who referred to Specsavers who are agents for NHS. Appointment cam through in 10 days - hearing tested, aids prescribed and I walked out with them in my ears - 10 days start to finish.

You can now self-refer to Specsavers branches that are agents for NHS and do not even have to go through GP.

To the person who enquired - mine are not rechargeable. I am quite happy to put batteries in if it saves £thousands!!

I have worn NHS hearing aids for 20 years now. Couldn't manage without them.

As Luckygirl says, they are free and so are the batteries. And they connect to bluetooth on my phone, so phone calls are much easier now as the call goes straight to the aids.

At 94 Mum has worn them since she was about 30. We both cannot understand why anyone is reluctant to admit to hearing loss. So cannot understand why it is a tricky subject?

aggie I occasionally have itchy ears. My doctor prescribes a spray and it clears up within a couple of days. Not happened now for quite a while though.

JamesandJon33

If you find the answer could you please tell me. My DH definitely needs hearing aids but totally ignores the problem. I have to repeat myself constantly. I am either whispering or facing the wrong way.
I hope someone comes up with a good suggestion for you Cabbie21

My DH is exactly the same. He blames me!😡

I wear hearing aids , they are a great help , I bought them as I was told there is a long waiting list for NHS aids
I am having problems with them now making my ears itchy ! Can anyone suggest a solution ?
I did get a spray of olive oil but this just clogged up my aids

Unfortunately hearing aids are not free in Wales. The hearing test may be, but there is a wait locally of 3-6 months. I've just had to have a hearing test privately and now have hearing aids, all within a week, what a difference, but expensive, more raid on savings but well worth it.

JamesandJon33

If you find the answer could you please tell me. My DH definitely needs hearing aids but totally ignores the problem. I have to repeat myself constantly. I am either whispering or facing the wrong way.
I hope someone comes up with a good suggestion for you Cabbie21

Same here, it’s my fault for not being right beside him when I speak.

On the plane yesterday the chap next to him said something to him 3 times and each time he misheard him, of course that was due to the noisy plane!

Sigh………

I wear hearing aids; have done for 14 years. They generally work well. I can make adjustments via my phone for different environments etc. Even with them on I sometimes mis-hear. Also accents are harder especially on the phone. If there is a problem I just explain that I wear hearing aids and tell someone what I need to make things easier eg. Looking at me whilst speaking so I semi lip read or speak more slowly on the phone etc etc.

I too just dont understand why some find it difficult to accept hearing loss, inevitably making life more difficult for themselves and others.

Cabbie I would just ask your friend whether she has thought about getting a hearing test as you have noticed that she may not be always hearing things at the group you both attend. Depending on her response, take it from there.

My husband refused to accept that he had a problem with his hearing, until I stopped talking to him. When he asked why, I said there was no point talking to him as he obviously couldn't hear what I was saying.
He went for a hearing test, and was told that his hearing had been damaged by gunshots during his time in the army. That made it more acceptable to him than it being caused by age.

Luckygirl3

Hearing aids are FREE - paying thousands is bonkers. Mine are NHS and state of the art - they bluetooth to my smartphone and I can make all sorts of alterations. The are brilliant.

What is this nonsense about not wanting to acknowledge hearing loss? - I have had my aids for years - hearing the birdsong is a delight. Hearing loss is not something to be ashamed of.

I have said to several friends that hearing aids might help them - no problem, no insult, no offense. Just tell her.

Not free here,unfortunately. Wish they were. We don’t have the luxury of an NHS.

If I think someone's struggling with hearing, I will mention it but I always tell them it might easily be wax build-up. (as it could be). People don't seem to be as resistant to the idea that their ears need syringing as they are to the idea that they need hearing aids, & it helps them take that first step. I second Lucky Girl's praise for NHS hearing aids,
I have bluetooths as well, free batteries & tubing & reviews & repairs, as well as them being free to start with. NHS Audiology services I've dealt with are pretty patient-friendly too.

If I can’t see, I get glasses; if I can’t chew, I get dentures; ego, if I can’t hear, I get hearing aids - that is my philosophy.

I wear have worn glasses for many, many years, but have stopped wearing my hearing aids as, after treatment, most of my hearing has returned.

Suggest having wax removed? One of my friends was totally deaf, and once yet he was was removed, miraculously regained her hearing.

I think people get tetchy about hearing loss because it is associated either with disability or old age, or both. The same cannot be said about glasses as they are far more prosaic and worn by young and old alike. Glasses can also be a quasi fashion accessory and are notionally connected to studiousness or intellect. None of which is attributed to deafness or hearing aids.

Luckygirl3

Hearing aids are FREE - paying thousands is bonkers. Mine are NHS and state of the art - they bluetooth to my smartphone and I can make all sorts of alterations. The are brilliant.

What is this nonsense about not wanting to acknowledge hearing loss? - I have had my aids for years - hearing the birdsong is a delight. Hearing loss is not something to be ashamed of.

I have said to several friends that hearing aids might help them - no problem, no insult, no offense. Just tell her.

Totally agree with you. Out of interest are yours rechargeable?

Cabbie..if she is a friend why don't you just tell her that you think her hearing is deteriorating and she could benefit from a hearing test.. Surely friends support each other..

Oh luckygirl the woman was a nightmare! My mother wore hearing aids ( from a young age ) I am very comfortable speaking about hearing aids with people. I’d say this lady was just one of life’s “characters” !

Hearing aids are FREE - paying thousands is bonkers. Mine are NHS and state of the art - they bluetooth to my smartphone and I can make all sorts of alterations. The are brilliant.

What is this nonsense about not wanting to acknowledge hearing loss? - I have had my aids for years - hearing the birdsong is a delight. Hearing loss is not something to be ashamed of.

I have said to several friends that hearing aids might help them - no problem, no insult, no offense. Just tell her.

We were on holiday, a tour of Kenya. One lady in the group was constantly shouting “PARDON” I had no option but to mention her hearing, it was so obvious I asked quite bluntly if she had thought about trying hearing aids. Her reply was she couldn’t be bothered they were uncomfortable and too expensive to think about. I have to say she was really quite a strong minded opinionated lady who once her mind was made up ………. She didn’t make the trip easy at all.

My husband has hearing aids but won’t wear them ( even though they cost thousands!) He gets ratty if he doesn’t hear things so I don’t comment anymore. He finds them uncomfortable and says they give him eczema. Ah well, worse things at sea, as they say