Harmless social media post

I think I would message her privately, and say she meant no harm ,and of course her mother would have loved to get to 70. The daughter is obviously very upset at losing her mum. Dont ignore, her, her mother was your friend

As we head toward Mothers Day, companies will start warning us that their marketing may cause distress to those who have lost a Mother etc.
It’s sad but there is always someone looking to be offended/distressed.
Part of the grieving process are the constant reminders.

The fact that someone is bereaved doesn't mean they can turn every conversation around to it.

"My shoes fell apart"

"Well, you're lucky to need shoes".

"I missed the bus"

"Well, my dad would have loved the opportunity to miss it".

We could all do that, all day, about everything.

If I feel that way, I stay away, because other peoples lives go on.

Really, what we need to do is to redefine what a 70 year old is. Don't conform to stereotypes. I'm 72 years old today. I'm a 5th dan black belt in Shotokan karate. I train and teach karate almost every day. I refuse to be what society expects a woman in her seventies to be, whatever that is. That was for my mother and my mother-in-law. It's not for me. Don't fear the number. It's only a number.

For Doodlebug, and that "She's entitled to an opinion, but Facebook isn't really for discussion". F'book isn't really for discussion?

Sorry, but people can (and do) post all sorts of misleading or downright wrong stuff on there, and why shouldn't it be discussed and corrected if necessary?

Re this actual example, I've reached the age myself (I'd be getting a free TV licence in a few months, but for the Tories) where some mornings the body feels like it needs a full service just to get downstairs and make tea, but I'm also well aware that both parents didn't see 52, so I'm loathe to complain too much!

It was a bit daft of you Cambsnan . Let's be honest 😀
Not many of us past 21 relish getting older but she was allowed to feel hurt about her mum.
As foxy says, add a care emoji and leave well alone.
Happy birthday 🎂
Enjoy your day.

Send her a emoji of flowers and a heart and leave it at that?

👍 Agree

Yes but a much kinder forum I think. But thanks for pointing that out. You know I meant Facebook 😂

Some people make everything about themselves probably because they are hurting. Her mother's untimely departure has nothing to do with your light-hearted take on getting older. I don't think you need to reply. She took your post personally but you don't need to do the same with regard to hers. Remarks can trigger us, especially on social media, and I think it's important to detach oneself from what is essentially 'about them not me'.
A young friend of mine bemoaned the fact she was approaching 35. Lucky you I thought but I didn't say it. It's normal to have mixed feelings about time passing. Who doesn't? You have nothing to reproach yourself for.

Something similar happened to me recently. Move on; let it go! She is just grieving and why wouldn’t she?

I am going against what the majority of people have said here! I’m a bit of a people pleaser (though I wish I wasn’t as it holds me back!) and I hate to upset anyone, even unwittingly. If I were you, I would, as another responder has suggested, send a little personal message (that is, not through Facebook) to your late friend’s daughter to say that you miss her mother’s friendship and that you didn’t mean to “offend” or upset her in any way. Then hopefully you’ll be able to put it to one side. You’re obviously bothered about it, Cambsnan, or you wouldn’t have put the question on Gransnet. Best wishes.

My mum used to say “it’s better than the alternative”. Wise old bird, my mum.
x

Ignore it - that sort of thing happens on here all the time. Happened to me yesterday! It is hurtful but best ignored.

Nobody asked her. End of story.

Sorry comments.

I love gransnet but have read some ridiculous moments on it which have been aimed at light hearted posts. Do as the others say and ignore the comment or as another poster said place an emoji as a reply maybe a ❤️she’ll realise she’s been a bit hasty.

Whatever someone says on social media someone will take offence because that's the nature or our woke society.

Incoming.........

"Reason not the need...." (from King Lear) and ignore it.

Some people simply can’t resist an opportunity to put a crimp on your day can they ? Very sad that she lost her mum early but it’s nothing even remotely to do with you expressing your own thoughts, so I would leave well alone and not respond.

We all have a different take - on the other side of the coin, my own mum is in her mid nineties and for the last five years I’ve watched the essence of who she is disappear in front of me, until there’s little more than a shell left. She’s frail, in bad health and has frequent bouts of panic because she doesn’t know where/who she is, and doesn’t recognise family. My hope is that it doesn’t go on for too much longer - I think there are worse things than going before your time.

Theexwife my two sisters were having a good old moan about their husbands, l thought, loved mine to bits, but don’t miss how infuriating he could be lol l may have said it out loud

I lost my twin 26 years ago at the age of 47 and I’m afraid I would probably have posted similar, I’m not saying it’s right but I do feel some resentment when people complain about getting old

Just send a hug to her by way of a Gif or label. She is obviously hurting about her Mum but you are entitled to a bit of light heartedness.

People generally post responses like that for one of two reasons:
1 they are feeling very low at the particular moment they read the original post
2 they get a kick, whether they realise it or not, out of slapping people down with a line of “black print on a social media site” as @serendipity22 beautifully puts it.

We all see things that 'trigger' us on social media.
The best thing for people to do is ask themselves is it really necessary to comment? Or keep off social media if you can't hold your tongue. In her case, it wasn't necessary to bring her late mother into it.
It's sad when people don't live to a ripe old age - my own mother died in her early sixties - but such is life.I wouldn't resent anyone else for living longer but not wanting to be 'old'. Ignore the comment.