Do you find it annoying when people use a diminutive form of your name without asking?

Yes, definitely, especially when people do so on a first meeting, or replying to a letter/email.
Even worse when 'professionals' do so.
As my mum used to say, if we had wanted her called ---- we would have christened her that

Thankfully my name can't be shortened but I was called TJ by everyone at school, Including teachers, and didn't recognise when folk were calling me by my actual name, ignoring them! Only a few old friends call me it now, but woebetide ANYONE outside of that group who finds out and calls me it.... They're toast!!

Having a family name, each generation was called a different version. So my name places me within the continuity of the family. DD has the same name but is called by the dimunitive used by her great grandmother, my much loved Grandmother.

DD is childless, but DS's daughter, has her great grandmother's (my mother's) version of her name as her second name.

On the improtance of names, tedandjack and jeanie19 seem to have a very one dimanesional view of life. Obviously whether you can afford your rent, have money for your next meal or are escaping being killed in Gaza features higher above lifes worries than what name you are given.

But ;life isn't one dimensional, it is multi-dimensional and our needs hopes, requirements cannot be placed on a single list. Try balancing the priority of getting treatment for an aggressive cancer with bringing the war in Ukraine in the end, thus stopping all the slaughter of men, women and children there.

For many of us what we are called is a definition of who we are and someone deliberately calling us anything but the name we choose is setting out to insult us as clearly as if they swore at us or used any other word of abuse.

of course 'peace on earth and goodwill to all' is a priority', buta first step towards it is respecting the name I wish to be known as.

There's worse things they could call you I'm sure
I take it as a compliment that people find me approachable enough to shorten my name

Jean sounds like it’s really got to you nonetheless.

For some people their name really does feel like a serious issue. My daughter, on adoption, received a new surname, which she refused to change when she married because she has such a strong attachment to it. When a child is adopted nowadays their adoptive parents will have received training about the importance of the child’ given names.

I have used my middle name since my teens - I abandoned my given name for very good reason.

There are people who have serious issues in life and anyone who lets something like this even enter their head needs to get a life.
This applies also to the knit picking grammar police.

People often get my name wrong and it just depends who they are whether I correct them or not. The only person who ever shortened my (middle) name was my stepfather and I loved it!😊

lizzypopbottle I know exactly what you mean. My FiL was christened 'Reginald' but always known as 'Jack' (a long family story). He didn't recognise 'Reginald' (or Reg or Reggie) as being his name.

I don't really mind to be honest. I prefer the diminutive form of my name to the full version. I also don't mind when strangers call me love, dear, darling etc. although 'dear' can sometimes sound a bit patronising.

Like it or not, from experience of visiting elderly relatives in hospital, I don't believe I'd be asked what name I'd prefer to be called in that situation. Or maybe, in such a vulnerable position, I'd be unable to make my preference clear. In that case, I'd hope the medical staff would consult my adult children. I think the default should be Mrs Popbottle until my wishes are clarified. I've been known by that name since 1975, when I married Mr Popbottle so I would certainly respond to that name.

My reasoning is this: My father-in-law was christened Henry but his friends and family called him Harry. He never used the name Henry. Other people called him Mr Popbottle. In hospital, the name written on the whiteboard above his bed was Henry. The patronising, baby voices would say, "Come along, Henry, it's time for your medication." or " Here's your cup of tea, Henry." How demeaning!
Worse than that, my mother-in-law was christened Mary Lilian but always went by Lilian, Lil (only by her husband) or of course, Mrs Popbottle. In hospital, the name above the bed was Mary. And the patronising voices used that name.

Both these people lived through and served in the armed forces during WWII. Harry was never out of work. Both deserved the respect of being addressed by their formal name Mr or Mrs Popbottle. No one asked me or my sons or daughter if the name on the whiteboard was right. The first name on their medical records would have been their surname. Much less chance of giving offence if that name had been used.

My sister had quite a simple name, but in her time an unusual name, and got so many versions of it, when introduced to people she would sya her name, then spell it.

She did it so often that she said she began to think the spelling was part of her name!

I don't care. When I was a nurse in training it was customary to call or refer to someone buy their surname. Life's too short to worry about a name.
. ..

Maddyone

I hated the name so much, it was desperation! Plus I had to spell it all the time. The only one who didn’t get used to my new name, was my mum. You could change your name quite easily and inexpensively at a solicitors. If you are unhappy, it might be worth it.

I was called "hen" on the train, once.
It made my day!
"Hello hen, would you do me a favour and pull that window shut"?

I don’t mind but I do get annoyed when people miss the second e of my name. Especially when it’s a reply to an email I have just put my correctly spelled name at the bottom of.

I had a cleaner for the bar who called me “darling”all the time. She was a good cleaner so I just accepted it. I’ve been called “my lover” in Exeter, “my babby” in Bristol, “China” in London, but they call everyone that, not specifically one person. I object to having my name shortened by people I have official dealings with and would rather keep it that way.

Agree. Uninvited familiarity is always bad manners. And the examples of this as above are out of order. On the other hand at least you are not addressed as “my lovely” “love” etc. now this is really annoying

I wish I’d had the courage to do what you did LisaAn.

I don’t like my first name at all. It can be shortened but isn’t a usual thing to do with that name, so people rarely do shorten it, but I don’t really mind if they do.
My second name is actually Madalene, hence my user name. I love that name and I also like Maddy very much and don’t mind at all if posters call me Maddy. However I’ve always felt it a bit pretentious to start being known as Madalene or Maddy in real life and so I never have done.

About 20 years ago I acquired a new first name by deed poll (I had hated my given name all my life). I don’t mind if people use a diminutive.

There are about four variants of my name, all of them quite acceptable to me; my Father used my full given name always, my husband uses a variant, I introduce myself as another variant and friends from school use the name I was known by as a child. I like them all - and I'm not concerned about any versions.

I don't mind anyone shortening my name but when replying to emails I usually use the name people have signed with unless I know them really well,

i tell people to use the shortened version of my name as my name ends in lyn and not ine, i even tell people at hospital app or when i am in hospital, which is often that if they can't use my name then please call me mrs nexus.

My name can't be shortened. I prefer my middle name but my lovely late Dad was the only person to ever call me by that name and then only occasionally. I have a lovely late great aunt who was always known as Auntie Lizzie but she always signed cards as Auntie Betty as she didn't like the name Lizzy. Wish I had called her Auntie Betty but as a child I just went along with what everyone else called her. I hear my son and dil calling my grand daughter by a shortened version of her name which is quite sweet (she has a lovely but not very common name and the shortened version suits her).