Paternal grandparent

I'm another one who doesn't understand it paddyann and*rafichafgran*. Possibly perpetuating the myth doesn't help and maybe makes it acceptable for paternal GP's to be, as Redhead's posted often allocated the back seat.

I also think in those
Early days it is more natural to be close when it’s your daughter with the baby. Because it’s your daughter recovering and feeling vulnerable , and emotional and overwhelmed and so often they naturally want their mothers. Nothing wrong with that at all. Paternal grandma can be patient and understanding is this and earn herself much favors.

I think key is to be respectful and follow their , and especially your dils lead. Respect her as a wife and a mother first. A solid foundation and respect go along ways. And I agree about mismatched expectations. Also don’t keep tabs. Grandchild is a grandchild for life - so don’t keep score in those early days and let teens at build about who babysat more or first etc

It has not necessarily anything to do with bonding really but somehow for no reason paternal grandparents are often allocated the back seat.
I know from experience you just have to be patient and your time will come it’s not fair but in a lot of families that’s how it is.

I don't understand it either Paddyanne

I've never understood this "the bond is naturally much closer" stuff.I love my son just as much as I love my daughter and their children equally.Its only "different" if you make it so.
My son and his partner told me first about their new baby ,brought the first scan pictures here to cheer me up when we'd had bereavements to cope with and know their new baby will be as loved as her sisters and cousins .WHY should it be any different?

Follow their lead. Mismatched expectations are often the root of family problems.