Anxiety about daughter giving birth

We all worry about our children and this anxiety is normal. She is your daughter and most of us know how difficult giving birth can be and like Marydoll says, what can go wrong. Try and talk this through with someone (not your daughter) to get it off your chest

I’m a doula and I run a bimonthly Zoom course for grandparents to update their knowledge around birth, babies and infant feeding….so I can assure you it is completely normal to be anxious about this!
It’s also quite reasonable. The current NHS system is extremely risk averse, with very high and climbing intervention rates which haven’t achieved their aim of lowering stillbirths (the figures for which have remained static for some time now) When the time comes for my daughters, I’m hoping to be able to dig into savings to pay for private midwives so that they can have a home birth if they want to and have unbiased, informed support if they decide to go into hospital. I’d have loved to have done the same for my daughter in law who had a blatantly unnecessary emergency caesarean 4 years ago. Happily she had a more empowered experience in the birth centre two years later.
One thing I’d add: please try not to let your anxiety feed through to the mother to be. It’s very bad for her. She needs your reassurance and belief.

My anxiety for my family stemmed from three very difficult pregnancies and births of my own children and nearly losing my first grandchild.
I know what can go wrong!

And,what would uour worrying do to prevent any very unlikely mishaps? Does your DD have a health condition that perhaps causes you to worry?

Yes very much so. I've had 2 of my daughters giving birth and it's been terrible. The strain of keeping up a positive happy front was exhausting. People at work being so ahppy for me when i was just filled with anxiety. People who don't worry have a happy positive disposition whereas I am a worrier and do get anxious anyway. The good news is the celebrations on a great birth and bouncing baby went on and on.....Fabulous time. We have great fun now . I hope you reach the end soon and are soon laughing with huge joy and gratitude. Sending you huge
supportive hugs.

Yes yes yes I was a nervous wreck and both DD had emergency sections for their first borns! Good luck

My first grandchild was born in the middle of lockdown. All travel cancelled so no chance of being there and he was 200 miles away. Born with a hole in his heart and my son was beside himself with fear and worry. I couldn’t even be there to comfort him. It was pretty horrible. Had 2 more since then and all went ok.

Yes. It’s normal.

Neither of my DDs told me with their first that they had gone into labour. I found out after the event, one sitting eating M&M's in bed the other very poorly after an emergency CC. It's natural to worry we wouldn't be loving mothers if we didn't.
Try and relax and enjoy the new arrival when it arrives.

My daughter had her first baby at 17, I was with her along with her then boyfriend. It all went really well amazing experience. I was also there the following year when her second daughter was born . And 5 years after that when her son was born. All amazing experiences, I think being with her helped my anxiety

I don’t have a daughter but was worried for my daughter in law. I kept it to myself.

I was a nervous wreck over DD2’s pregnancy, especially as her DF (my DH) had died 10 weeks before her due date. Being a wheelchair user with little feeling and poor circulation in her lower limbs, she had every setback in the book. In the end they didn’t want her to have a vaginal birth because of her lack of sensations. Then they weren’t happy with an epidural, so DGS2 was delivered under full GA.
So relieved to hear both Mother and Baby we’re safe and well.

Yes.
Not for the baby really - for my daughters - every time.

I was less worried about my daughter-in-law (shame on me) - but still concerned.

Louella12

I must be abnormal.

Didn't worry at all!

Me neither.

I must be abnormal.

Didn't worry at all!

My DIL gave birth to our second grandchild a few weeks ago.

Baby was in breech position and wasn't for moving, so DIL was booked in for a C section.
We were away for an overnight stay, ten days before baby was due and baby was born that afternoon. DS decided not to tell us, because it all happened so quickly and he knew we would worry. It was all a bit of a shock, but the upside was that we had no time to panic!

It's only natural to worry.

My daughter was in labour overnight for both births. I didn’t get a wink of sleep either time.

My youngest daughter had pre-eclampsia with her first and I was a nervous wreck until I knew that her and my granddaughter were both fine.
I think we all feel like this whether it's our own children or our grandchildren.
I'm sure all will be well xx

Perfectly normal, particularly so if, as in my case, your own experience of giving birth was an emergency Caesarean for our firstborn, and that was in 1971, so a much bigger deal back then. All fine with the second in 1973, but that initial experience stays with you. All I'll say is that if you are anxious, do everything you can NOT to communicate that to your Daughter, even if it means conjuring up an Oscar-winning performance on your part. Hope all goes well. It will all be worth it.

I was worried, particularly with grandson number 2 as dd was quite ill with pre eclampsia. I kept it to myself though as that wouldn't have been helpful.

Definitely! Dd was 38 with her first, and I don’t mind admitting I told them I didn’t want to know until it was all over - I’d have been a nervous wreck. And just as well I waited - it was a difficult birth, but all eventually well.

Luckily 2 and 3 were easy - she only just made it to the hospital for 2, and didn’t even have time to take her dress off!

I do hope your anxieties will be needless, debiweb - 🤞 and do please keep us posted!

I understand completely! When my first GC was born I was worried too. When we visited in hospital I could wait till I saw my daughter was ok! It is very natural to feel this way , but please don't pass your anxiety on to your daughter. Enjoy the process , all will be well - congratulations! 👶

Yes, I was terribly worried. I didn't really feel excited about a new grandchild until I knew my girl was o.k.
Take care of yourself.

I'm sure we all felt concerned as the birth approached but excited and happy as well. Don't let your anxieties take over debiweb . Definitely don't share them with your daughter. Enjoy your new grandchild I'm sure all will be well.