What I would tell my 20 year old self if I could

I'm another not to get married or maybe choose more carefully....
Enjoy life when your young and you don't have responsibilities
Don't listen to others that put you down as they are the ones with the problems

I would say to myself
‘Do not trust your father. ‘
He moved in with me after my husband died to ‘help’ me look after my young children . Years later, after he had died I found out he had abused my young daughter.

Follow your instincts. You’ll invariably be right.
Spend more time with your grandparents and ask them questions about their lives. One day you’ll want to know.

When you give up smoking, which you will, do not get complacent. A single cigarette and you will be hooked again.
(I gave up for a few months twice, and for 5 years once before realising this truth and finally giving up forever).

And wear sunscreen.

I would say:

Be brave
Stand up for yourself
Stop being a people pleaser
Learn when to say NO
Have confidence in yourself
Be happy with who you are - it’s enough
Don’t overthink things
Don’t feel guilty about things
Take more risks

Is it too late to take these on board now, I wonder?

Assuming I was going to take any notice of myself:

- Look into Christianity now: don’t leave it till your late 20s. (I wish I had become a Christian earlier – I might have done fewer stupid things.)
- Pay attention to how you are using your time and money. Don’t overspend. Save and invest as early as possible.
- Don’t worry about making mistakes. You will make them, it’s normal. It’s better to move forward and then change direction than to do nothing for fear of going wrong.
- So pursue a career, don’t put your head in the sand.
- Think about someone’s character before you marry them. Is he kind, honest, considerate? Does he take responsibility for his actions?

I would tell the 24 year old me to take the fantastic job opportunity offered to me instead of getting married....

Grandy56 I am so sorry to read how your father betrayed your trust in him.

I am surprised that so many say "Don't get Married" because I did when I was 19 and never, ever regretted it. I would and did take the advice of my friends who had married in their teens because they were pregnant, to delay having children and have some time to enjoy ourselves without any responsibilities.
To those who regret not having more sex, I can only say that I bet that being married we had more great sex (we called it 'making love') than the singletons. 2 good wages/salaries coming in and both of us with secondary income from evening work in the music industry, so we were paid for our nights out , we were able to buy a car and anything else we needed as well as save for the future when we started a family - Je ne regret rien

I've had few regrets over my life, but there are a couple or three things I would dearly have loved to rethink or changed.

The first one would be not to take the route I regularly took on the A34, because the last day I ever spent travelling to work when I was 49 was cut short by a motorist smashing into the back of me at the interchange to the motorway while cycling to work at Trafford College (from Poynton), the lady told the police she didn't see me, despite wearing bright coloured cycling gear); I was left with a broken back, lost 4 inches in height and sustained brain damage that left me unemployable and on various drugs for the rest of my life.
Work a little harder at my first degree, I lost the chance to do
I lost a virtually guaranteed and sponsored place at Oxford to complete a Doctorate on parasitology, which had been handed to me on a plate, on the proviso I gained a first-class honours degree. My lecturers were expecting me to succeed, but I failed to get the necessary first-class honours degree. Instead of devoting my time to serious revision, I'd stupidly frittered away most of the time in the months I should have been revising leading up to my final exams, going to rock and indie clubs in Manchester (Jillies and The Banshee on Oxford Road, and The Ritz, or going to concert tours at Manchester's Apollo Theatre and further afield and when not making a fool of myself on the dance floor or being deafened by the likes of Alice Cooper, Hawkwind, The Cult and other rock and Indie bands I'd be hanging out with friends in the universities British Bike club (only myself and one other actually had British bikes; mine a Triumph 500cc Tiger and my friend had the triple Trident, the rest of the club had Japanese and German bikes)

The only other thing I would change would be not to turn down the offer of a job in East Africa, running a tsetse fly control program; (thanks to my entomologist lecturer who recommended me for the job). I'd just started seeing new girlfriend at the time and was smitten, so turned down the contract, which would have seen me in Somalia for a year.

Apart from the above foolish endeavours and omissions, I've been very lucky and content, with both my social and family life.

Don't settle for anything less than what you really do deserve

Don't be controlled by my mother, and don't think that marriage is more important than following a career that I loved.

Do the masters that you were told you could on the very last day of uni! Too late then. Look after your teeth properly. You are more beautiful and much slimmer than you’ll ever be again.

kittylester ...You said...'They probably did, you were just not listening. All of us are full of insecurities. All that would have happened, if you had listened, and taken notice is that you would have been full of different insecurities.'
You're missing the point! It was a hypothetical question and the OP was asking what, based on HER own life experiences, what she would tell HERSELF'!!!
Why bother to answer if you don't get the premise of the question?!

Don't have sex with someone just because they are there and you are a bit drunk

Be calm; don't rush through life and spoil the 'now'. Spend more time with the precious children to avoid regrets later.
Never waste time on unkind people, trying to be kind to them, when they will never respond or be worth your efforts.

What would be the point. My 20 year old self wanted to follow her own path and wouldn't have listened.....

Leave him now as it will never get better only much much worse. Don't wait another year when his parents will buy you a house and you will be indebted to them. He will take all your money and go clubbing every night without you.
I left at 21 best decision ever.

Never marry or have children, my daughter lied and cheated her way through my life, she involved me in her Benefit fraud, using my address, telephone number, and house. When I protested, she said: 'If you want to see your grandchildren again we will be down in the morning, I have a 'home visit' from Social Security'. She was living with her partner.

Tell that girl you long to speak to, just how you feel, she may tell you to get lost, but at least you will know, instead of 60+ years of just wondering and dreaming sadly.

Yes Neil, just swop the gender in my case

Me too, well not to the person I did.

cariad25

kittylester ...You said...'They probably did, you were just not listening. All of us are full of insecurities. All that would have happened, if you had listened, and taken notice is that you would have been full of different insecurities.'
You're missing the point! It was a hypothetical question and the OP was asking what, based on HER own life experiences, what she would tell HERSELF'!!!
Why bother to answer if you don't get the premise of the question?!

Er, I didn't say that.

Don't waste a lot of money dying your red hair blonde every 6 weeks because of bullying and name calling. Be proud of being a ginger nut or rusty head and still having you're lovely red hair at 56! ?