Daughter in debt

Calendergirl

Due to a messy divorce etc many years ago we haven’t had Normal family contact since she was about 14.She is 49 now.We live a long way apart and don’t see each other very often. Therefore I have no idea how she is with her finances. I had ideas she may be following in her fathers footsteps. He was hopeless with money.
We have built up a reasonably happy relationship over the last few years.I’m glad to say.

Why would she need you bank details if you are sending her money? Either a scam or something not right here.

It's a scam don't reply to the texts if itsyour daughters number she's been hacked ring her on landlines or husbands mobile and talk to her bet she's not aware

I had a different scam yesterday but could easily have fallen for it. I had a text purporting to be from EE telling me that my monthly payment could not be processed and in order to avoid late fees l was to go to a website that was given. I knew that l had more than enough money in the bank to cover my direct debit so rang the number that the text came from. Thank goodness I did. The number l called had an answerphone that told me it was an 02 number. I realised it must be a scam and blocked the number. These scams are so plausible.

l have just done a little on line course that Nationwide Building Society runs. This very topic was discussed and their advice whenever a loved one needs money talk to them face to face .
l really recommend them.

Scam!!! Do not do anything, you need to talk to your daughter in person. Do not give anyone your bank details .. you will be wiped out

I know this is off topic, but DH has just had a call from Amazon(?) saying something about delivery of the £500 iphone he had ordered. His inclination was that it was a scam, but he felt uneasy. So I suggested he go into his amazon account online and check his 'orders' list. Sure enough, there was no iphone listed, so we can relax and enjoy our lunch!

2420mags Thank you for the info on the nationwide course, I will follow it up

DH had an old-fashioned letter from someone in China recently. Apparently a long lost relative called Albert has died, leaving a substantial sum in a Chinese bank which the author of the letter offered to share with DH if he sent his bank details ?

It's quite easy to identify if it's genuine or not
Just text asking a question like what's your sister, brother, aunty, granny's name and address. Or a medical condition only your daughter or son would know. Or the dog / cat name etc
Never finance anyone with addiction you are just prolonging their misery. Once you pay off the debts they will run up more tie after time. Seen it happen with parents house being sold to help AC - in the end they had nothing left.

Sounds like her phone being hacked if she was your daughter you could ask her a question only she would know like first pet etc. it was on tv about scammers sending messages claiming to be from family members send your son inlaw a message from your husband phone or landline not yours because your phone will have also being hacked contact your supplier and explain what as happened there will send you a new number etc. my son got one other week claiming to be me only I was sitting in his living room at the time and I got a new number etc. scam scam scam

This is a very useful article on scams by Age UK.

www.ageuk.org.uk/barnet/our-services/latest-scams/

This is a scam that’s really common !! Call your daughter talk to her,if it’s real she must give you details.
There are several charities available too who will step in confidentially and help her .
Gamblers anonymous
Step change
Please do not send your details or pay anything yet.

Callistemon21

DH had an old-fashioned letter from someone in China recently. Apparently a long lost relative called Albert has died, leaving a substantial sum in a Chinese bank which the author of the letter offered to share with DH if he sent his bank details ?

When I had a similar letter from a Heir Hunter firm I thought it was a scam. I had a think and rang some other relatives and it turned out they’d had letters. All turned out ok.

A lady I know was getting these messages from her “daughter”and asked her daughter by text how the cat was after his operation.she got a text back saying he was much better.
The daughter hasn’t got a cat !!

This definitely sounds like a scam. Call her.

If it is genuine and she is in debt, please do not give her your bank details. My sisters daughter was working, she left her husbank and got a flat and asked my sister to get a £10,000 loan for her, my sister did, her daughter started paying her each month, after quite a while she met someone else and moved in with him, she she asked my sister if she would take out another £10.000 as they wanted to start their own business, my sister did, 9sister and husband only have pension and are not well off) just after this the daughter stopped paying the loan back, it was my sister who was getting the threatening letters about non payment. the baylifs turned up at the daughters house, she was on the phone to my sister and my sister made a payment from her credit card to satisfy the bayliffs, later she found her daughter had kept a copy of the credit card number and had used it to buy online, so now the credit card was maxxed out too. The daughter ended up buying a hot tub, had a holiday abroad, purchased a husky pup to compliment the 2 german sheppherds she already had. I saw my sister in tears as she didn't know what to do. She asked her daughter many times for money, said she was getting these debt collectors letters, the daughter just said 'Oh ignore them, they all send them'. after almost 3 years my sister is now out of debt, she paid it all off. I will not have anything to do this her daughter and her sister will also have nothing to do with her. I can't believe she treated her mother like this.

This is a scam. I had the same one 2 weeks ago.

Seabreeze

I have made contact with my daughter. It was all a scam. Phew I’m so relieved. She thought it was funny and reminded me she is as careful with her money as I am !
Thanks again for your advise ladies.

Seabreeze has sorted it out!!

Lovetravel

There was a warning only yesterday on Jeremy Vine lunchtime radio show detailing exactly this. You get a txt from your son or daughter saying firstly they have changed their mobile number. Then some friendly txts. Then Iv got financial problems please transfer money I need help. THIS IS A SCAM 100%

I had the same scam about the phone being broken and an invoice need to be paid and I nearly fell for it but then something kicked in and I asked “her”to name her two brothers and obviously she couldn’t…

For all those who can’t be bothered to RTFT she told everyone at 11 pm on Sunday

This is definitely a scam. I was contacted in the same way yesterday saying he was my eldest son and had got a new phone and number. Problem was my son was sitting next to me at the time so i knew it was not real !!

I had 2 scam messages from my “daughter” last week. Apparently she had dropped her phone in the toilet and this was her new number. She then told me she was in trouble and need money urgently and could I send to her my bank details. I was asked not to tell anyone about it.
I knew very well these were not from her.
But my SILs mum nearly fell for it the first text was from “SiL”also saying he had dropped his phone in the toilet, so she replied oh you wont have seen all the pictures of his daughter (who she was looking after) she had just sent him so she resent to new number, she then had a text from her real SIL saying pictures were cute. Then it clicked first text a scam,
My daughter and SiL very cross she had sent a load of pictures of baby daughter to a stranger though.

This is a scam had same one 2 weeks ago

There are two possible scenarios here.

Either this is a scam that your daughter is not concerned in and knows nothing about, or otherwise she is a gambler.

Your post gave me the impression that your daughter had phoned you asking for a loan, so presumably this is not a scam.

If your daughter is already addicted to gambling, helping her out this time will not stop her from going on gambling.

If this is her first venture into gambling the amount she is now in debt might just scare her into stopping gambling, but unfortunately it is easier to say you want to stop whatever it is you are addicted to, than actually to do it.

In no circumstances should you tell her husband about this.
What you must do is to insist that your daughter tells him - if she cannot face the prospect, then you can offer to do so on her behalf, or to be present when she talks to her husband about this.

I realise this has been a dreadful shock to you and I am sure that by now you have realised that you cannot and should not betray your daughter's confidence.

To make sure that you only are helping her with the one payment, which in all conscience is a dreadfully large amount of money, phone your bank now, cancel your card, and ask them to move the balance in the account your card and other details pertained to into a new account.

Check whether the payment you authorised your daughter to make has been made and to whom.

Then get hold of your daughter and insist that you and she meet face to face to discuss this in all its details (except of course your new bank account no. and any other bank cards you may have.)

You are justified in asking her how long she has been gambling, which form it takes, and whether she owes more money than she has told you about.

You should also make it very clear to her that you neither will or can help her finaciallly again and that you need to know whether she intends getting professional help to deal with her addiction to gambling. And do not allow yourself to be persuaded that it was a one-off thing, nothing to worry about, and will not happen again.

These are standard answers any drug adict, gambler or alcoholic will give you, but unless and until they themselves wish to conquer their addiction, their promises are meaningless, as they are just not able to keep them.

If your daughter is addicted to gambling, I would suggest that you contact professional help for gamblers - they will have a help service for concerned relatives who need advice regarding how best to help the addicted person.

Otis

This is definitely a scam. I was contacted in the same way yesterday saying he was my eldest son and had got a new phone and number. Problem was my son was sitting next to me at the time so i knew it was not real !!

We know. Seabreeze told us yesterday.