How old are you?

I'm 57. We all at some point in our life are confronted with our own mortality and the fact that we may lose those we love. That happened to me in my early 40s when my dearest friend died suddenly in her 30s leaving two very small children. We were all heartbroken.

Every day I have lived since then I feel is a gift that she didn't have and I try to live it well for both of us. I appreciate all I have, make the most of every moment and love with all my heart the wonderful people I am lucky enough to have around me now. There are ups and down and sometimes it's not so easy - but I try to focus on the gift of the moment.

If I die today I will have had the great good fortune to have had all those bonus days. It has stopped me worrying about my own mortality.

I agree LaCrepescule. It must be wonderful to have faith.
I lost mine a long time ago. I'm agnostic now, and wish I wasn't.
Most of the things we worry about never happen, so just try to find something to be happy about each day. And plan things which you enjoy, whatever they are. - A holiday? New clothes?
Have things to look forward to. Good luck.

You are so right Henetha. I’m a born worrier though so should work on that. I’m definitely not depressed aggie and feel RoseeLee has got it spot on; I’m facing up to my mortality. Lovely post from Franbern, so positive.

I do sometimes wish I was religious (brought up in a strict Catholic household) and could come back to my faith. There are so many people on this earth who believe in an afterlife; are they all deluded?

I'm 72. Apart from a lot of struggles with severe anxiety and a bit of trauma, as far as I know, I'm OK. I eat reasonably well, I'm not overweight, try to walk each day if possible. We went away last weekend as walked about six miles each day.
I never in a million years thought I'd get to this age. I've followed my mum in many things and she died at 58 so I suppose I'm doing well.

You are all so young! I'm 84 and mostly ok apart from a chronic back problem. I still go out and about, still drive etc.
I do worry about things of course, mainly about having a stroke/heart attack here alone and unable to call for help. But I shrug these thoughts aside and try to look upon every day as a bonus. I do get black days, but they pass.
64 seems very young to me. You can either spend the next 20 years worrying, or just relax and try to enjoy them.

echt

I see this is the Ask a Gran forum! I'm not a gran.

You don't have to be a gran to be on Gransnet.

73, and touch wood in good health.
Of course I think about it now and then, but try not to dwell on it.
What bothers me a lot more than the thought of dying (apart from the fact of maybe leaving dh alone) is the thought of ending up like my mother, who died at 97, having had dementia for maybe 15 years, and was in a most pitiful state for at least her last 4 or 5.

Truly a fate worse than death - IMO anyway.

Esspee, having I met you, I would never have guessed your age! You look so young!!

Franbern
I think it was Bob Monkhouse who said live each day as if it were your last.
^

74 but still clinging on. I do worry a bit about getting old and dependent as seems to be the norm but I’m generally healthy if a hypochondriac. I have begun getting rid of “clutter” though. I don’t want anyone else going through my things when I’m gone.

In a couple of weeks I’ll be 73. On a personal level I am fit, healthy, very happy and truly enjoying life.
On another level I am extremely depressed when I see the way this world is going with war and people on low incomes being pushed into poverty plus our country being led by such a disgusting excuse of a man.
Ageing doesn’t bother me, as far as appearances go that is. I will be upset if ageing restricts my life due to physical deterioration.
Surprisingly death doesn’t worry me and I intend to end my life when the time comes rather than have others attend to my personal needs. I’m quite philosophical about it.

61 in a few weeks time. I don't worry about ageing and death for me, but the thought of losing Mr. S. plays on my mind more. He's 8 years older and with our DS in Aus. and being estranged from his brother and only GC, I do worry about what will happen to which ever one of us is left.

Franbern, My fear is NOT of dying, but of being dependent (particularly for personal care), on someone else.

That too is my fear, I nursed both parents with dementia and I will never forget the day, when I had to change all my mother's clothes, when I came in to find her soaked in urine. As I washed her down, she said, Have I come to this? Just let me go now. ?
This was a woman, who as a ward sister had done the same for others. It broke my heart.
I have no wish to be a burden on my family. I already rely on them for many things.

Almost 63.
Have (almost) lived an extra decade longer than my mother.

My fears are Dementia (father snd maternal grandmother both suffered)

My constant worry (3am usually)
is when I pass on, how will my family manage?
Close family members with severe health issues depend on me.

I will be 81 in a couple of months time.

I enjoy each day, feeling happy when I wake in the morning and plan what I will be doing that day. I do have some, vague, longer term plans. Would really like to see my two eldest g.children graduate in 2024. Would like to be able to celebrate my 85th birthday as I did my 80th, with my five remaining adult children and eight g.children.

I am, most definitely, not afraid of death - but do have concerns as to my method of dying. I live a wonderful independent life in my lovely flat. Lots of groups and activities. Mobility scooter and other technology makes my life so easy, even with some medical problems.

I really would like to see a system of elective, voluntary euthanasia brought in - obviously with plenty of safeguards.

My fear is NOT of dying, but of being dependent (particularly for personal care), on someone else.

I have been fortunate in having a long life (not proud, not really much to do with me - at least twice it is thanks to the NHS). Death could be anytime in the next one day - 15 years. No time to worry about it.

I am 66, with chronic health conditions. I am very resilient and long ago, accepted that, this is my lot in life and that not much more can be done to improve my quality of life. My prognosis is poor, but I love life and try not to let my conditions drag me down. I am, my own worst enemy, because I think, fool that I am, I am invincible.
There are days, I am unable to do much, but I try not to get morbid.
Every morning, I wake up and thank God I am still here.
Carpe diem!

Hi LaCrepuscule, I am 66 soon. I think you are going through something very healthy - you are facing up to your own mortality. Good luck with coming through this anxious time soon, and I hope you will then feel able to make plans for the future as best you can.

I’m almost 69. I’m quite healthy despite having one long term health condition . I still work two days a week, do volunteering, drive long distances and have plenty of friends. I live with my family and consider myself lucky to do this as I see my daughters, SIL and granddaughters every day.

My son died many years ago in childhood, I’ve always had a religious faith and look forward to seeing him again when I die. I’m certainly not afraid to die but hope I live as long as possible with all my faculties. I hope my children will be ok when I’m not here, it’s always harder for the ones left behind

Lovely messages this morning on this forum .
We all have had our burdens in life that is what life is about and the burdens make us stronger not weaker .

I should have added that due to getting to this age already (where did the years go?) it really is true that you shouldn’t put off doing things you want to do.

I’m in early 60s a couple of years from pension age. I do have a lifelong health issue ( thyroid) that can affect a lot of things. Whilst not being morbid I realise at best I might have 20 years ahead. I have so much I want to do and places to go if only I feel up to it. What upsets me most would be not being able to see my GC get married and have families.

GotanewLife
You just have to play the cards that life deals you and get on with it
My mantra exactly.

I am 73 and luckily have never had anything wrong with me.My wife of 48years died nearly 2 years ago after deteriorating for 6 years.I have downsized from a 4 bedroom house to a one bed retirement flat so my kids won't have much sorting out to do when I go.I am not scared of dying,just hope that I don't linger in pain.My 2 children are both happily married and the grandkids are coming on well.Sometimes I feel guilty being happily alone,healthy and active.You just have to play the cards that life deals you and get on with it.

I’m not a gran and nearly 50. Age is just a number. I joined this group because I love to read the threads which I often find interesting

Just 77 years young and although I have a lot of times now when I start to realise I m on the slippery slope I try not to dwell on death and the end as some of you say you do
I do try and think a lot about what I can do and not waste time on what I can’t do
I still ride my cycle most days, I have my garden and my allotment that I don’t have any help with and I swim in the sea throughout winter I still work voluntarily, I can still do a full lotus (proud of that) and am fairly flexible and reasonably fit ….but….. my world has shrunk I am much much more comfortable in familiar surroundings I m not keen on going away any more my eyesight lets me down and my confidence has taken a huge nosedive I ve been on my own many many years and that doesn’t bother me but I feel safe near my familiar area and this is a huge adjustment for my brain as I used to love travelling and adventures even when on my own
Yes I forget words sometimes and don’t answer some of the quiz questions as quickly as I did …my recall of people faces and names (who I haven’t seen for years) isn’t good I used to pride myself on always remembering names
I hope I don’t have a long drawn out death or Alzheimer’s but no point worrying as it ll be what it ll be I ll have to take it on the chin and deal with it won’t I ? I hope to heavens I m not a burden on my daughter who lives near me (the others escaped)

I don’t have the comfort of a belief in an afterlife I hope I m pleasantly surprised unless I m on the outside looking in ?
I don’t have amounts of money but everything is in order I don’t owe anything and have just done my POA online
I don’t feel old I like to dress up to date
I m ok