Gosh, I am 85... until this last year, felt and looked in late 60`s, well told that on the looks by people...
I certainly did not feel my physical years.
had care of husband for some years, then he went on died on me just before covid, ie. the Nov. before.. then I continued to live in my fairyland,, lockups,, and too many changes, for me, and suddenly about 6 months ago, I aged! mentally I guess... I am relatively healthy, well health is good for my years. high bp. contained with medication for years now..
I get so tired, and though I hate to use the word, I guess I am struggling with depression, (can`t take medication doc issues)
I get out to local church and whatever social events they do... fortunate that our church has kept open for my preferred traditional service..
two ds, 4 gks.. don`t get "looked after" by them, they keep in touch,, don`t know if I am "alone" or "lonely" but I am certainly not good mentally.. got my cat... life saver... I have to live to look after her.
guess that is my problem, my prop of caring for someone, (all my life) no gone.
not frightened of death, just as Franbean, (was it?) said, the mode of dying.
I doNOT want to live to be dependent on anyone!my biggest fear
so I will put the vacuum round,, heartheartedly, and try to keep the dust down.. other than that.. well that I do have to close my eyes to..
Hey it`s Spring! see the flowers,, the lighter evenings!