Suddenly worried about driving - did this happen to you?

The yellow lenses do sound helpful, but because I like to know there is good research basis for such claims I had a search. Very little info, much of which (not anecdotal) was negative, especially for older users. I will check with my ophthalmologist at my next appointment before I invest in some.

As somone elses in this thread has said a sat nav is useful as it gets you into the right lane for what ever is hppening next and it tells you how far to next exit, turn, roundabout what ever.

I passed my test when I was 17, but have rarely driven since. I HATE it with a passion. I cycle everywhere and if necessary use public transport. I intend to never stop cycling and hopefully will be riding for the rest of my life! Lots of dedicated cycle lanes here, which make things easier. I do realise this isn't an option for everyone, but it works for me! I visit the NL to see my son and he has never needed to learn to drive. He also cycles everywhere (of course!) and their public transport system is amazing. I do make use of the local taxi service now and again if absolutely necessary!

Oh, what I meant to say at the start of my response was - No! I haven't suddenly become worried about driving. I've ALWAYS been worried about it!

We are both still ok driving at the moment and still have two cars, as we mostly go in different directions at the same times.

Our cars look the same outside, but are very different inside, eg his has six gears not five, and a load of new tech which doesn’t interest me. When we go out together, including on holiday, it is always in his car and he always drives. I never drive his car. I worry about going on holiday, in case he is ill. It has happened before, and he drove home very cautiously, but it felt unsafe. There is also a problem that he cannot walk far. It would often be helpful if I could drop him off then go off to park eg when visiting a particular place where there is no nearby car park. But DH is adamant that he must drive and it must be in his car. Mine is not comfortable for his back.

I don’t know how we will go on if we have to drop down to one car or if he is unable to drive anymore. I walk or use public transport a lot, but he is married to his car.
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mrsnonsmoker if you stop driving you will of course lose a great deal of independence. I can understand how you feel though - I detest motorways now and much prefer to drive locally, but two things might help you; the refresher course as suggested, which will raise confidence, and please do make sure that you are able to see well, particularly at night. I have recently got driving glasses and they have made a fantastic difference - I began to realise that at dusk everything that was clear suddenly became blurred. I feel a lot more relaxed with the glasses, even though I don't need them during daylight. Good luck!

@mrsnonsmoker at a similar sort of age I too lost a lot of confidence in driving, for me it was a generally very stressful time, for various reasons. I had a course of antidepressants for these reasons, and also did a short motorway driving course, and between them I got confidence to do motorway and dual carriageway long distance driving again.
Off the tablets and still ok then my Dad died just after I got home from visiting, 200 miles away, I did drive back and home again, but a while after that lost confidence again. I've recently been diagnosed with high blook pressure and put on meds, and actually I feel more confident, not been back on the motorway yet mind, but I wonder if the high blood presure makes you feel a lot more stressed to begin with, then when driving and there are stressful things happening while driving that ramps up the stress levels, it is hard to get them down again if the base level is high
Worth checking that maybe, and getting your eyes tested to make sure sight is ok, and maybe some of the courses mentioned too
The motorway course was really good, having an experienced instructor sitting there, helping was wonderful. Maybe I ought to do it again
But also there are more and more complicated junctions, and if it is a new area you do not always know which lane to get into, and many drivers are so impatient even when you are doing it right and sticking to the speed limit. Just a trip to a nearby town involves a new big roundabout with many lanes and at some times of day it is a nightmare honestly. And night driving can be hard especially in bad weather, not just you driving but people going too fast
But I am keeping going, I need a car as long as I can drive
I do also like going on trains if I am going away, I'd consider hiring a car too if I was going a long way, and could do most of it on the train

I passed my test in 1966 and I’m now 74. I’m not nervous driving, even at night but even with sat nav I dread going somewhere I’ve never been before. My brother has recently moved to Worcester and keeps asking me to go and stay and I make all kinds of excuses not to. I should make myself face up and grab the nettle. ?

Farzanah our eyes do lose their ability to see in the dark as we get older. Just as in our 40s we often have to invest in reading glasses.

As well as the yellow night glasses you can get your ordinary glasses coated with a special yellow tint. This was recommended by my optician.

My driving glasses are both reactolite and have an antiglare coating. They help but my night vsion is getting worse. It seems to get worse in steps and did a step down about two years ago. DH is the same, so now night driving is limited to motorways, dual carriage ways and local routes we know well.

Although this has meant a few adjustments to our travel patterns. As we do not work, travelling on Friday and Mondays when visiting children, rather than Friday evening and Sunday evening is not a problem.

Thanks MOnica. Will ask when I have checkup.

I'm in my late 60s and find driving at night on unlit roads quite difficult. After the first lockdown I was quite nervous driving anywhere as some drivers seemed to do really stupid things after weeks of barely driving anywhere, but that soon passed. I do find long journeys more tiring as I've got older and need to arrange overnight stays to break the journey if going very long distances, but I dread losing the independence of driving.
I'm planning to move to a cheaper part of the country in the next year or so to be nearer DS, DiL and GS, but plan to buy somewhere in walking distance of decent shops, doctors etc if possible. I realise that if my eyesight fails I could be unable to drive, so need to make sure where I live 'future proofs me'! At present it is only long distances and dark unlit roads that phase me so I hope I remain confident for now.
Many years ago we paid for my MiL to have refresher lessons as she had stopped driving as her husband always drove everywhere. Sadly he continued to discourage her from driving and when she was widowed she had lost confidence again, She is now 90 and her eyesight is far too poor for her to ever drive again but it is sad that he didn't help her regain her freedom when she could have done. Being divorced I've got used to driving myself everywhere, but that could so easily have happened to me otherwise, as my ex always drove unless it suited him to let me drive so he could drink whenever we went out for a meal or have a rest on a long journey! They say 'use it or lose it' and I think that definitely applies to driving, especially as we get older.

everyone's eyes take time to adjust to the dark too, whatever your age. I live rural with no street lamps and have been caught out a few times by the sun going down quicker than I expected when out on a walk and even then it takes time for your eyes to 'see' through the dark iykwim

I am a bit more confident having had my eye surgery last year. however, here in the US at least, it seems like everyone is driving more agressively, is totally impatient with any driver who is more cautious. I will only drive short local distances I know at night. I won't drive any long new to me distances alone even the in day.

I lost an awful lot of confidence in driving once I hit the menopause. I started a new p/t job at the same time and my emotions and self doubt were all over the place. I can and do drive my daughter’s small manual car if it’s essential as it sits on our driveway. My husband’s VW is automatic and has lots of different buttons & controls and I don’t like driving it so I don’t bother. I lacked confidence behind the wheel of that car as well as his previous Citroen so I’m happy for him to do the driving. If I was absolutely stuck I would call a cab or walk in the future.

When my mother got to about 70 I noticed she only ever turned left at junctions - it took ages to get to places ?

I am not a confident driver never have been and never will be. My car is a least 15 years old. I managed in the city we lived in and on the small motorways around it.
Since we moved to the country, narrow overgrown roads cars piled up with kayaks and the kitchen sink going 2o miles faster than the locals who know the roads. I have lost it even more especially as there are constant steep hill starts.
I know I will have to get going again and maybe a refresher course would be the answer.
A neighbour who was partially sighted and relied heavily on her husband had to move to her daughter when he died.

Kim19

I've just invested in some anti glare specs and what a boon. I was beginning to find those fairylight styles on modern high cars a difficulty. Sorted!

I’ve been using these glasses for a while, p bought them from a local petrol station for £9.99.

I feel I am losing judgment. This is my problem. Recently I backed into a low wall and that has thrown me . I am terrified of backing now. I also am not sure if I can through a space . The dark is horrible too.

It’s not just eyesight though, for some people lack of physical flexibility can be an issue. I recently in the garden centre and was avoiding an acquaintance (aged over 90 and still happily driving) and noticed she couldn’t reverse her car out of the parking space. Back and forth she went time after time - she has arthritis in her neck and it’s “locked”. Time to hang up the car keys.

On a lighter and not unconnected note: about 30 years ago in the small town where I lived was what appeared to be a self-drive car - not it wasn’t really - the driver was an ancient old lady who was so tiny she was barely visible to the driver behind.

When DH retired we cut back to one car and I had an op on my shoulder, the result I drove far less. Following on from lockdown I have made myself drive locally as much as I can. I always enjoyed driving but it is much more scary now, so many people shoot red lights and fail to indicate (mad SE). I am mid seventies now and would like to keep driving for a while longer mainly to visit friends and local shopping.

Yes. It happened to me 28 years ago. I was not cut out to be a driver. It is not in my DNA and I shall never drive again. I am 76.

I'm cross with myself in losing my confidence, it really is use it or lose it. I've worked from home for more than 15 years and have most of my shopping delivered so don't actually need to drive very often. My DD moved abroad so the drive up the motorway I'd do every few weeks ceased too. About 5 years ago my husband leased a brand new 'fancy' car, he'd never had a new car before, but of course it added to my anxiety. I'm 70 now and only drive locally and during the day, the fear of being in the right lane etc on roads I don't know is crippling. Given years ago I worked in car hire and drove every sort of car, van etc all over the country I can't believe I am where I am. I wear varifocals and sometimes wonder if they don't help when reversing, I spend a lot of time looking for parking spaces that I can drive in and out of!

I'm 82, and still driving, but confine myself to fairly local areas that I know well. It took me a while to get used to driving in the dark, when my evening activities began again after the Covid restrictions eased, but I'm fine using the motorway for short trips.
I feel perfectly safe, and my optician has confirmed that my eyesight is fine for driving. I do worry about how it will be when I have to stop, as the nearest public transport and shops are too far away to walk to. It would possibly be no more expensive to use taxis, but the number of short journeys I make every week is surprisingly many. Shopping, at least 2 choir practices, U3A activities, visiting my daughter, the library, friends. Not to mention other occasional trips.
I dread losing my independence. Being able to jump (I wish ?) into the car and go where I please makes life so much easier. Having to book taxis would be a real drag, and restrict my freedom to come and go without having to plan ahead.

I used to love driving, unfortunately I’ve developed chronic fatigue after serious illness and start feeling sleepy quite quickly on a long-distance drive. So I wouldn’t set off to drive a long way on my own at the moment. I find it hard seeing in the dark, so I had my eyes checked out and I was fine, but it’s another thing that’s put me off driving a bit.

My husband has never done much of the driving on holidays, he’s always been a nervous driver, and has lots of restrictions like not driving on the M25! He’s getting a bit more used to it now, but he’ll often ignore my directions, and refuses to look at signposts, so it’s quite a trial being driven by him!

I ve never driven so nothing to miss I ve always walked, cycled and used public transport Never had the opportunity to learn or own a car and in latter years not got the eyes Most of my group of friends have given up driving, a couple are still driving We re all between 75 and 85
I do think a few people drive far too late I know a lady who is actually dying and very weak and ill but up to a couple of months ago was still driving and her neighbour with both cancer and dementia is as well… both are in their 80 s
I firmly believe you should have to have some kind of test perhaps 75 and 80 and like there is a start age I think there should be a finish age which would prevent the people who think they are fine but aren’t old age can make you just as much a safety issue as a 17/18 year old starting out