Going one better?

My mother was in hospital, I rushed back to see her . The nurse came over to explain her condition but
Then changed the conversation to her own tiredness, unbelievable.

My friend and I used to chat to a dad while our children played rugby, we used to call him Large Nigel, because whatever anyone had, his was larger (Don’t ask)

SueDonim

That’s known in this house as Black Catting.

‘I saw a black cat.’

‘I saw a cat that was blacker.’

I love it! This person is definitely black catting me - and, TBF, everyone else too - but guess what? I'm allergic to cats!! Haha, haha, haha!

For me, it's a bit red flaggy, though that might just be because of my experiences with a very long-standing friend that I'm very gradually letting go: For years I ignored it; for some more years I was sympathetic to what must be a deep seated insecurity but I'm now shedding her, because she has to one-up me in Every conversation, private or public, and it's So Wearisome- but so "innocently" done that if I called her on it, I'd be the bad guy, especially in others' eyes.

I'd keep a distance.

Yes, it’s oneupmanship. A neighbour of ours is inclined to be a bit like this. If you’ve done something or had something, he’s done the same, only better or had the same condition but much worse. It’s quite amusing, really.

*Love it *Canadian Gran*
love0c the friend of mine who has seen bigger drains is insecure and constantly needs to make herself appear superior.

these guys...

I have always been led to believe that these people are unhappy in some way. Hence, have a need to feel superior? more important? suffered more? does this image fit your friend maybe?

Flippin heck !!! So whats the psychological reason behind all that ?

I havent anyone in my circle of friends for the sole reason that i wouldn't tolerate it. That sounds a bit harsh, i dont mean it harshly, i mean i just wouldnt class them as friend material if they had to spout off that did this and that bigger and better than me.

Pfft.

One-upmanship?

I think some people share to show empathy and understanding and I guess, sometimes they will have had a worse experience.

Some people though make your need for help and support about themselves and you end up comforting them which isn't helpful.

If every time you have any conversation it's the same I think that would be a red flag

Witzend that is sooooo funny. LOL. LOL.

Winnie Vinegar Bottle hahahaha.

Oh my Aldom what an awful experience. Doesn't sound like he was very good in his vocation.

How awful for you Aldom. So sorry. Hope he's moved to a more suitable position.

There is a drain just behind where my car is parked on the drive. I mentioned to a friend that I was always afraid of dropping my car/house keys in the drain when accessing the boot. One day a mutual friend was at my house at the same time as my other friend. The mutual friend is a 'two yolk' person. As we passed my car my friend pointed to the drain saying 'Aldom is always afraid of dropping her keys in the drain'. Two yolk replied 'I've seen bigger drains than that' I'm laughing now as I type.
My husband was in hospital following a stroke when he had a massive brain bleed (from which he later died). While the crash team worked on my husband I sat outside his room and was joined by the hospital chaplain. He spent the entire time telling me in great detail about when his wife died!! How about that for one upmanship.

That reminds me of someone who is referred to as “two yolks” ?????

It's competitive. I have a relative who sees everything as a competition (and she's a terrible snob).

Everything she has or does is better, superior, posher, more valuable etc.

E.g. her children, house, holidays, marriage, grandchildren, career, achievements - in fact, everything - is/are so much better/shinier/brighter than mine!

I can have great fun, now, by 'replying' for her first:

'I got it from John Lewis, but I'm sure you can buy them in Harrods.'

'She won silver - I bet yours would win gold.'

'PhD, but I know you'd do better'

'Three orgasms, you'd have had ten!'

My DiL is a bit like this. Her problems are always the worst! I think it's a need for attention for some reason.

I've never heard of Judith Two Sheds but I know someone named Judith, and she has got that one-upmanship thing.

A GP we had years ago had this problem! Whatever your ailment he’d always had it twice as bad.

My mother died the week before DD2 was born. When I told him I was given a detailed account of how his mother had died, obviously her death was worse than my mother’s, even though it had happened thirty years ago.

I do like her, but we have only exchanged messages and not spent much actual time together.
Maybe that is it. Because you haven't been together much, she is taking the lead from your messages and just coming back with something to say almost. So if you say to me you were walking the dog early, I might say I was at the gym at 6 am.

I think it can be a mix of insecurity and wanting to have the last word. It’s annoying, whatever the cause!

Oh my goodness....those people. They’ve always done/ had / been it twice as hard for ten times as long! ?

Good luck with that?

I had an aunt like this. My father’s nickname for her was Winnie Vinegar-Bottle.
My mother was once telling me about the friend of a friend who’d been diagnosed with a very rare disease.

‘For God’s sake don’t tell Winnie Vinegar-Bottle’, said my DF. ‘She’ll know someone who’s had it twice.’ ?

Oneupmanship?

I do like her, but we have only exchanged messages and not spent much actual time together.

I'm trying to work out what may be behind it. If she's very insecure, for example, I'd be sympathetic...