Sleeping alone

I lived alone for 19 years before getting married 10 years ago. Even with a superking size bed, I hated sleeping together. Just to be clear, cuddles and sex all good, just the actual sleeping together didn’t suit me. My husband was originally reluctant but now, after four years with separate bedrooms he loves it too. We’re lucky because we each have a double bedroom with an en-suite (we renovated to do this). It really suits both of us, there’s no guilt about getting up to go to the loo, reading or watching tv. We wouldn’t have it any other way and if we downsize at some point, we will ensure 2 bed, each with en-suite. As long as you talk about it, hopefully both parties will be happy with the arrangement.

Oh I am so pleased to read all these replies! I have a health condition and my partner had a stoke so we’ve been in separate beds for over 5years now. I love it! We both now appreciate time to ourselves and can do as we want when woken up, ie reading or listening to podcasts. I am a lark and he is an owl so from that respect it’s been much better I think. My husband was resistant at first and I do miss the intimacy, but we manage on that front!!! I think it has improved a lot in our lives. Thank you

Yep! Have done since my first hip replacement in 2012! Bliss...... I have king bed and ensuite shower wetroom DH has another king bedroom and big bathroom/ wetroom . I snore like a drain anyways and spread about so we're both happy! my DH sleeps in an awkward position too and as we've grown over the years and comfort rather than romantic consideration is priority!! We sleep together on holiday but usually super king bed/singles anyway so no issues

We've slept in different rooms for the past twenty years. It's saved our marriage and given up both our own space and a good night's sleep. It's wonderful and great luxury of you have the room to do it. Highly recommend separate bathrooms too.

I started sleeping separately from my husband about 5 years ago. I’m a light sleeper so slept badly from his snoring etc. best thing ever I sleep so much better.

We have had separate bedrooms for years now and I absolutely love it. DH wasnt keen and at first I was always the one to move out in the night if he woke me up and I couldnt get back to sleep. He talks and shouts in his sleep. DD however insisted on separate bedrooms from the word go with her partner due to her raging insomnia and I think once DH saw that young people found it acceptable he was OK with it.

A few months ago I slept in our spare bed because of my OH àsnoring. He got quite upset about it so he slept in spare bed next night, and then the night after that etc to 'show me how hurt he was'. Unfortunately it backfired spectacularly because I LOVE being alone in my king-size bed... much better sleeps now and I can spread out to my hearts content....

DH was prescribed a steroid spray to help with recently diagnosed sleep apnoea (I could have told them that years ago ?) Now we both sleep better together!

I've slept on my own for nearly 15 years since my husband died. We shared a bed for over 30 years until the very last week before he died and he moved to a hospital bed in the dining room. I still sleep on "my" side of the bed. The only person who shares with my now is my granddaughter and occasionally my daughters dog

My ex husband had really bad problems with his nose that caused horrendous snoring, he wouldn't go and get it corrected as he was too frightened. It's bliss having my bed to myself now, I can spread out and roll over to the cool side when a night sweat arrives. Heaven.

Marmight

After 10 years of widowhood I don’t think I could ever share a bed with anyone else. I’ve become so used to my own space. I still sleep in our kingsize bed and do the Alice in Wonderland thing. 6 nights one side then 6 nights on the other so I’m not constantly battling with linen changes! The joy of clean sheets without the hassle of changing them. The unused side is my ‘office’; everything I need which then gets shoved to the other side each week ?

I’m too am a widow still sleeping in the super king. I’ve not thought about the “week about” side idea to save on laundry! I also shove many things over in the empty side ?

Lucky enough to have separate bedrooms and we love it. He likes it cold with windows open all seasons, while I like the warmth. I wake earlier and like a thicker duvet. He snores loudly. It hasn’t affected our level of intimacy and if anything we are both more refreshed.

Yes, we do, not my partner's choice, but he snores and I'm a terribly light sleeper, also I can read at odd times during the night when I can't sleep, fidgit to my heart's content! SO much better for both, he doesn't get fed up of me digging him in the ribs either!! Win win, I also wear silicon ear plugs, so don't even hear him clomping to the loo, ah sheer bliss. And yes we do still love each other. I know of other couples who have separate bedrooms too. My daughter loves it when her hubby is on a late shift and sleeps in the spare room, so not just for the oldies, it doesn't mean we think less of the other half, we just need sleep...?

Separate here though not by choice. My husband passed away unexpectedly in 2018.

I share it now with a memory bear made of my late husband clothes and his favourite knitted jacket.

No I am not planning on replacing my husband either. No one can hold a candle to him and never will before anyone asks.

I'm happy to sleep alone. I wouldn't even share it with our dog as some do.

I find as I still sleep on my side of the bed I use my husband side to dump stuff on a night like my handbag ?

Phew! I read some of the comments after I posted above. I'm glad I'm not the only widow who does this

No, but I wish I did, for all of the above reasons

I'm another who is quite heartened to read all these replies and realise that I'm far from the only one! My OH gets up at stupid o'clock (runs a business which necessitates this) and I snore really badly (apparently!) so it means this way, at least we both get a decent sleep. It does make things a bit strange when we go on holiday and realise we have to share a bed again though!

I've had horrendous night flushes for years. We both get up at 6am for work and sleeping together meant that neither of us got much sleep at all. Hubby used to say it was like sleeping next to a blast furnace and I was constantly rolling around the bed and turning pillows looking for a cool space. I was wary of moving out of "our bed" to be honest, but it's been the best thing I've done. Hubby sleeps all night long and i have loads of cool space to move around in. We do still visit now and again lol

Kim 19, I laughed out loud. Did you and yourself wind up arguing about it? Do you have a third personality who could serve as an arbiter?

Sashabel

I love having my double bed to myself. Since my partner and I split up 6 years ago sleeping alone has been a godsend. It was one of the many things that improved in my life when he finally left. I could never share a bed with anyone again.

This is exactly the same for me! I've been single for 4 years and don't wish to share my bed ever again!

I sleep alone. I was a shift worker for most of my adult. life. When I met my husband, we tried to make it work but he slept worse with my coming to bed much later or getting up way earlier. After I had shoulder surgery, it sort of evolved into separate rooms. I'm liking it and can't imagine ever sleeping with anyone again.

Kim19 me too. I start off in the middle but when I wake up I'm back on the side again! I've been single 10 years, I guess some things don't change!

I’ve never enjoyed sleeping with another grown up. I’m fine sharing with my child though. The current OH gets up v early and goes to sleep v early so I can’t see us sharing a bed again. Far too disturbing.

My husband died at home in a hospital bed. I really miss sharing a bed as ,we did before his final illness ,for 55 years. We were both very sound ,non snoring sleepers so we were fortunate.

I would love separate rooms - DH won’t entertain the idea so I make do with ear plugs for the snoring and perch myself on the edge as I cannot bear being touched as he twitches in his sleep