Alcoholic - is it too late?

Borninthe50s - Darling, IT'S NOT TOO LATE!!! And OF COURSE your love is strong enough - you're her mum, she loves you as you do her. My mother drank until she got dementia and forgot that she drank - how heartbreaking is that? I was in my 50s when she died. My advice, if I can offer some, is don't just make a promise to your DD - make a comittment to BOTH OF YOU. Save this thread - read it again and again and again. If you need us to, we will support you - just keep posting and sit down TONIGHT and make a plan. Visualise the post 12 months from now that you will right to us, your supporters, to say that you are 12 months clean. Imagine the relationship you will have with your DD who will still be a very young woman. Imagine how different, how infinitely better your life will be. Really think about it, visualise it, feel it. Do it again and again and again - it will serve as a real instruction to your subconsious mind, the one that has previously sabotaged all your attempts to give up. You are STRONG. You CAN do this

Borninthe50s - do you believe you can learn to cut down, or that you have to go cold turkey and keep away from alcohol altogether?

It is not too late. You have taken a big step in posting here, Borninthe50s, and lots of posters who know what they are talking about will help you out. Well done you and every good wish for going forward.

Such a brave post and I'm so glad its produced such a lot of support and guidance for the OP. Don't feel that your love for your daughter hasn't been strong enough to stop you drinking to excess - if you had a physical illness like arthritis for example, you wouldn't think it was because you didn't love your daughter enough.Your love for her comes through loud & clear, the reliance you have on drink isn't linked to not loving her enough,but she will be your biggest motivation in giving up, & your biggest reward when you get yourself well.I just feel you're going to beat this this time - & GPs can help with medications to help you succeed, as well as the support of the AA.

Borninthe50s It is never too late! Life is too short! You have had some great advice on here - make 2022 the year you break free and become YOU again! Why not make GN your monthly diary, so that we all know how you are progressing and can offer support when you need it.
We're all rooting for you

I really like the idea of making a commitment to both of us. This is what she texted me last night after she’d driven back to her uni digs leaving me in a drunken stupor “Love you so much mum, I just want you to be happy. You are amazing and strong and wonderful”.
Want her to be proud of me too but don’t know if I have the strength to stop....You have all been so wonderful and I’m just rambling now xx

Small steps, one at a time, and there begins the journey.
Do this for yourself, do this for your daughter. She is only 22 too young to lose the mum she loves.
I wish you well.
.

One day at a time, or one hour at a time and before you know it a week will have passed.
Baby steps?

Bornintbe50s, well done on admitting you have a problem with alcohol, it’s never too late. I highly recommend that you try an online site Soberistas.com. It’s an alternative to AA set up by Lucy Rocca for women. You can look her up, she’s also written a couple of quitlit books. There is a 7 day trial & a subscription to pay if you decide to join, don’t know how much but it’s very reasonable. There is an abundance of support and advice and I think it would a great help to you. It’s quite a community. Good luck, you can do this xx

I have no experience to impart as I am teetotal & hate the taste of alcohol. I wish you the strength & continued resolve to cut down or give up. It’s never too late to save your liver!
I don’t mean to sound harsh but if you don’t buy it, you can’t drink it! Stop now. If you have wine currently in the house, buy soda or a mixer of some sort to water it down. Small steps, you CAN do it.

Oh Nonogran how fortunate you are! My daughter is coming back home now for a few days and she will see a sober mum. Chickkygran I was on Soberistas a long time ago so might well try it again.

It’s lovely your daughter is coming home for a few days Borninth50s and you are sober to meet her
But get that help you need now in my experience nothing works better than one alcoholic talking to another Websites are fine I have been using Zoom during the pandemic but nothing compares to meeting in person.
Sometimes if you haven’t had a drink for a few days you can easily forget how bad it can get. You need the support in place for when the going gets tough and that little thought of one won’t do any harm
Look after yourself

It's never too late and you have made the hardest and most important step by admitting that you need help. A massive well done ?. I don't know what the alcohol services are like in your area but I'm sure your gp practice can point you in the right direction. When I was a student nurse (I was a mature student so not that many years ago), I had the best placement with the Drug and Alcohol Recovery Team. No-one judges, questions or makes assumptions - they just help. Good luck and if I can help drop me a pm

Borninthe50’s Good morning?. Sago here sending positive thoughts and encouragement!

So happy to see your post this morning.
Have a lovely time with your daughter.
Perhaps ask her to help you find some tactics to help, anything from really good tv shows to crochet.
A new hobby or interest can really help.
Do try Soberistas again and don’t forget to keep in contact with us here.

I’m sorry my previous post made you cry but I guess that was in a good way.
A year soon goes by and the changes you can make in that time will make you and your daughter so happy.

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Have a lovely time Bornintbe50s with your daughter, how proud she’ll be to have a sober mum. Enjoy every minute xx

Hello Borninthe60s. I feel so sorry for you. Alcoholism is a terrible terrible disease. I lost my brother age 52 and a close friend age 35 to this. My other brother has been sober for about 20 years. He found that AA helped better than anything, but it's an individual thing. As has been said, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Get support now and I wish you strength success and happiness.

I had a brush with too much alcohol and it’s effects quite a few years ago and looking back, can see it was triggered by family stresses etc. Look around you and try to remove anything which is worrying you.
Life is so much more enjoyable without excessive drinking and you will really enjoy feeling in control rather than in the power of alcohol. Your self confidence will really improve.
I heard an interview on R4 with this specialist doctor, himself a one time addict and was very impressed.
I wish you all the very best for the future.

Good morning dear ladies, can’t sleep (as usual) but not because of alcohol and had a lovely sober day at my dear old mum’s yesterday (she’s 90 and going strong). DD is home later for a few days and I’m really determined to not pick up a drink in front of her. Wishing you all a happy new year and I’m so grateful for the outpouring of support and kindness from you all ?

Wonderful news! So nice of you to let us know how it’s going. It feels good doesn’t it? And how pleased your mum and daughter must be. Happy New Year!

Fantastic news Borninthe50s - well done you!! You're off to a brilliant start - hold on to this feeling of positivity and empowerment and may it sustain you into the New Year - NEW LIFE

Really good to hear you sounding determined that you won’t drink when your daughter is with you.
That would be the best Christmas/New Year present ever for her wouldn’t it?

Just have a read again about what you put on here on the 29th when you said that your daughter had driven back to her university digs leaving you in
“a drunken stupor”

Just try to imagine what that must have felt like for her. I guess it wasn’t an isolated incident but my gosh it brought home to me what it must be like for loved ones of an alcoholic.

Do you think you have the determination to never subject your daughter to that again?

Borninthe50’s The previous post is harsh, just ignore!

How fantastic you enjoyed a sober day and visited your Mum.
Let the sober day become a week and then a month!

You must be feeling far more in control, keep going, this evening may not be easy but you can do it?.

Borninthe50s you can do nothing about the past you don't need guilt tripping it won't help
You will have time in your recovery to deal with past but not now
You need to deal with the future and get help getting secure in your sobriety.

Age 72 been sober 30 years