Should we give our neighbour a present?

My next door neighbour frequently pops to our door with food, small treats or fruit. Then last Christmas she arrived with a Christmas basket.

I send her flowers as a thank you, once a year at Christmas time and she arrives at our door in tears, to thank me. She is a kind soul.

I would certainly reciprocate. ?

Maybe they left the gifts just to say thank you for being good neighbours after the last couple of years ?
I popped Christmas cards through the doors of everyone in my street last year (only usually do immediate neighbours) just so that they wouldn't feel so isolated during the lockdowns.
As far as your neighbours are concerned, unless you feel happy in reciprocating (how about some home made mince pies or sausage rolls for instance?) just say thank you in your card to them.

My neighbour is lovely.
Takes the odd parcel in for me and if I'm away will always keep an eye on things.
When I was ill, she also knocked to check I was okay and asked if I needed anything.

I always give her a card and small gift i.e biscuits / chocolate. It's very little cost to me and I appreciate her.

Definitely a kindness works both ways it’s Christmas!

I've got a new neighbour with whom I've become good friends.
Do I buy a gift or not? I think I'll wrap up some wine or chocolates, just in case they give me something. If not, I can drink or eat it afterwards. Good idea?

It is more blessed to give than to receive. Do you apply this maxim to yourselves or to your neighbours? Having received, I'd give.

We used to take parcels in for our neighbours as they both work and we are retired. They started to give us a box of biscuits at Christmas which was a nice gesture. However their daughter returned to live at home during the first lockdown and is still there working from home so we don’t have to take parcels for them any more. Last year they still bought us the biscuits and I am hoping they don’t again as it made me feel uncomfortable and think we should buy them something in return.

This year my lovely neighbour and I have agreed not to buy for each other and just send cards it was becoming too much looking for something suitable & reasonably priced.

Thank you for your replies!

I have already sent cards to neighbours and I saw her and said thank you as she had also taken a parcel in for us.

no I wouldn`t, if you are always there for them, to help in any emergency, that is present enough. I help my neighbours if needed and they would always help me. I plucked up courage and told everyone this year that I would be donating food to one of the many foodbank boxes instead of giving cards, they smiled and agreed and one said he didn`t know how to get out of card and present giving but he would next year

Something from your garden, a packet of bulbs ( all 50p in my local Homebase at the mo) or some homemade biscuits are nice small token gifts for helpful neighbours.

If Id to start buying for neighbours, that would pile even more unneeded pressure on me. I would write a thank you in their Christmas card and pop it through the door. I don't buy any of my neighbours gifts. Ive plenty people to buy for. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I genuinely don't have the time or the inclination to start buying for the neighbours too. Apart from anything else if one neighbour gets a gift and others find out, it will either snowball to unmanageable levels, or cause ill feeling. We used to be running round doors with cards and it was rarely reciprocated. I now only give cards to neighbours Im closest to.

Two of my neighbours buy me a small Christmas gift and I buy for them . This year it was chocolates from my local garden centre and they were ready wrapped in Christmas paper and tied with a red ribbon. It's a regular thing and I enjoy doing that ! If you really feel uncomfortable about this just send a lovely thank you note or better still thank her in person. The other option if course is to buy a small gift and take it round to her with a smile on your face, but be prepared that by doing that you are setting yourself up for an annual event! Personally I think it's a nice thing to do.

We're they wrapped?

It could just be things they didn't want or need regifted. Just a small thought that you might enjoy them.

If you don't want to start a tradition, do something small, you could bake some extra or just make sure to invite them for tea and cake in better times

I sometimes get given things I'm allergic too and pass those on to my neighbour, don't expect anything back

I second Grandmabatty. Good neighbours are beyond measure IMO.

My thoughts: If you have already given them the usual Christmas card, I would write a gracious thank you letter and pop it in their letter box. If you are yet to give then their Christmas card, write a thank you in the card and put the potted plant ( or maybe the candle) in full view on your window ledge (just for a couple of weeks) to show how much you appreciate it. Try not to kill off the plant too soon.

Grannynannywanny

I would feel uncomfortable if I didn’t reciprocate with a modest gift such as Christmas biscuits or chocolates . I’d also be prepared with another gift wrapped in case the 2nd set of neighbours turn up with something for you.

This for me.

I would feel uncomfortable if I didn’t reciprocate with a modest gift such as Christmas biscuits or chocolates . I’d also be prepared with another gift wrapped in case the 2nd set of neighbours turn up with something for you.

Obviously I meant ‘such an unusual year’.
I really must learn to read before posting.

I think that the pandemic has made a lot of people more aware of their community, and they were probably just letting you know that they are there, so if you need them you know you could knock.

If you don't want to set up a regular gift exchange you could send a card with a note saying thank you, and when it is safe to do so you would like them to drop in for coffee (although even that may be more than you want to do?). I think you have to acknowledge the gift though - it would be rude to ignore it. Do you bake, or something like that? A cake or home made biscuits would be a nice gesture, or, as has been suggested, a bottle of wine.

They obviously feel closer now and wanted to include you in their giving of presents. People don't give to receive. I think you should do what you want to do. There is no right or wrong here - reciprocate or just thank them.
I wouldn't worry about setting a precedent. It doesn't take much effort to give a neighbour a small present of chocs or wine.

I'm not sure.
Nothing more than a plant, a bottle of wine but then it could escalate to other neighbours too.

Our neighbours brought us a nice bottle of something (not sure what yet) but it was more of a thank you for something we did for them not long ago. We didn't expect it as there was no effort involved on our part.

by reciprocating you could make the givers feel uncomfortable.....people don't give to recieve.

I would feel bad not reciprocating. Perhaps they feel more neighbourly than before because of the unprecedented times we have been living through. A plant or chocolates or wine would be lovely. However I do understand about the problem of starting something that you have to continue each year.

The only way to knock this on the head is just to say thankyou but don't reciprocate. It could snowball otherwise and there's enough to think about at this time. It's entirely up to you.