Toddler Only Wants To Wee In Garden

My youngest grandson had two 'urinals' that attached to the wall. ONE in the bathroom and ONE in the Laundry Room (they had a huge flight of stairs that he couldn't negotiate easily when 'desperate'.

This is them - www.amazon.co.uk/Trainning-Trainer-Bathroom-Children-Whirling/dp/B01ANK3U9Y/ref=asc_df_B01ANK3U9Y/?hvlocphy=9046542&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=309882955166&hvpone&hvlocint&hvpos&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=gransnetforum-21&hvtargid=pla-549220833560&hvrand=6252716558878432450

I second the stick on urinals- my youngest grandson wasn’t keen on the idea of toilet training- but aiming at something certainly helped!

Is there any evidence of Labrador in the family!?

I love star charts. Always worked with mine. Maybe show him a YouTube video of soft play, and tell him if he fills the chart with gold stickers using the loo, then he can go to soft play…

Alternative let him wet himself and leave him in the wet pant for a few mins, will soon realise the loo is better. Bit cruel mind you

I wonder if anyone has this problem with their granddaughters? No, of course not. It's pure indulgence of little boys to allow them to pull out their penises wherever they want - think I'm being a bit strait-laced or overly feminist? Not at all, just making that blindingly obvious point that little boys should be taught very early on that their penises don't rule the world.

Apparently it's good for the compost heap if aimed correctly.

Although I have never known anyone who's tried it.

I read a thread about someone with the same problem recently, but I can’t find it now and it may have been on Mumsnet.

Hope there are enough suggestions here to help the OP.

How about having several strategically placed potties around so that, as soon as he starts, you can whip it out to catch it and just repeatedly say “wees and poohs go in the potty, not on the ground”. Mid-stream, he should hopefully carry on into the potty. He has to learn because a playgroup/nursery or school would surely find this behaviour unacceptable because of the health and hygiene issues. You can mop up a puddle on the floor, but can’t do that with the grass or ground. I wonder how his parents deal with this. How about you, and his parents when at home, reading one of his favourite books to him whilst he sits on his potty to encourage him to feel more relaxed with using it? If he does something into the potty, read some more or give him a small treat. Consistency between all his carers is important, though, when training, even if that means mum or dad has to find the potty if he needs to go, rather than carry on with what they are doing.

My four year old grandson is going through a stage of peeing everywhere. He sat on a Teddy and did it. I said very little as I think he wanted a response. He starts school in September and may be worrying about it.

Possibly at nursery or playgroup ‘pee-er’ pressure will make him want to fit in. I know at school children may arrive with all sorts of parental concerns about toileting but the teacher saying go to the toilet before play, before dinner, etc. and 29 children doing exactly that sorts the problem in school in less than a week, though some parents still say the child has problems at home.

I think this is a case of mountain and molehill! He will be fine and I personally think it is better than wetting his pants or the floor. My 3.5 year old GS does it outside and just says I am doing a free wee. He is potty trained uses his potty when indoors with no hastle. Next step is the actual toilet and in my opinion cannot imagine there are many children going to school who are not toilet trained. Relax they grow up so quickly.

If you've got a compost heap, get him to pee on that. Apparently it helps to break down the stuff!

Make sure he knows he is expected to use the toilet, as said before let him see mum or dad use it. Keep potty outside and if he shows he is about to pee in garden a firm but calm no and take him to the potty or toilet. Reward him if he uses the right place.

Thank you for all your comments which I have read carefully and will share with my DiL. He's 3 and no, doesn't have pets. He doesn't go to nursery yet and hasn't mixed a lot with other kids (Lockdown). We adore him and want him to conform with love, understanding and patience. He is bilingual and, subsequently, learning more than many other kids... I don't know if this is relevant.
Thank you for the book suggestion and Grandtante... thank you for understanding. I know some people are repulsed and I'm terribly sorry - it's obviously one of the reasons why we want him to conform.
But, some helpful suggestions too. Thank you so much. xx

grandtanteJE65

For goodness sake: Stop making a fuss about this.

We have been told the child is a toddler, so presumably he is still not two.

Let him wee where he wants to for the rest of the summer and don't comment on it.

When the weather gets colder it will be a good time to re-introduce the topic of weeing in the toilet or in a potty.

Above all the child's mother must not show that she is worried about this, as the child will pick up on his mother's anxiety and things will get worse, as he cannot at his age understand what is worrying her.

Yes, we were potty trained at eighteen months or two years and so were our children, but the trend today is towards late potty training - too late in my opinion, but I have learned to hold my tongue.

I don't know if Freud was right about severe potty training leading to mental disorders, but I do know that the more fuss you make about bed-wetting, weeing outdoors or not eating properly with a two year old the worse it will become.

I agree with picking up on anxiety. xx

I mean, I particularly agree with that. I agree with the rest too. x

You can buy musical potty's that might encourage your grandson to use. Thomas the Tank, animal potty chairs. a huge variety. Go onto Amazon and type musical potty.
Perhaps not ideal but way back when I was potty training my 3 I used to sit them on the potty in front of the tv. My eldest was fixated by the adverts.
Children love praise so when they did what they had to do I used to make a big fuss, shout wahey and clap, good boy!
It worked every time.

Naninka
I owe you an apology for last night.
I was concerned the thread may be by someone with bad intentions, but I can see you're genuine.
So again, sorry.

He holds a number 2 for his own garden but does likes to see it flushed down the loo by his mummy or daddy.
That's interesting, because some toddlers are reluctant to do a poo as they think they may be losing part of themselves!

Children love praise so when they did what they had to do I used to make a big fuss, shout wahey and clap, good boy!
Oh, yes, show great enthusiasm and praise!

Same as when adult males remember to put the toilet seat down

Haven’t got any personal experience to speak from (my son followed my daughter’s every move so progressed to potty and then to toilet quite smoothly, although DH did demonstrate the standing technique!)

I love the ping pong ball idea!!

What happens if DGS needs a wee during the night or very early morning? Does he ask to go outside then?

3 is still very young, & if none of the advice above works I’m sure that your DGS will change his mind about using outdoors the first time we have a sustained cold snap, let’s hope for a frosty October for you!

What about putting something harmless (to the sewage system) in the loo and getting him to chase it with his pee?!

I wonder who or how it started that it was ok to pee in the garden, if a child’s been potty trained they are usually so proud of getting it in the right place ( boys too) I never had this problem with children or grandchildren as they knew the potty was the right place and then they knew the toilet followed and they wanted to be big and grown up and do it right. They never had the choice of a garden
I think star charts worked with most things for me with a small reward at the end of the week
If he was having accidents I d say don’t worry too much but because it’s his choice, that choice has to be gently changed.
The thing is if he thinks it’s approved of at home he will expect to do that way everywhere you go

I wouldn't encourage going outside.
It's non negotiable, unless it's an emergency.

I would not be concerned about this. He will grow out of it when he sees what the bigger boys are doing.

I always used to encourage my GSs to pee outside when they were at that precarious stage between nappies and being trained. Saved a lot of mopping up.

They still like a "country wee" when we are out and about in the countryside.

If you go to Italy, little boys peeing in drain covers are a common sight.

NemosMum

Toilets can be frightening for little ones - the fear of falling in and being flushed away etc! Get a suitable toilet seat and step to increase confidence. DON'T make a fuss! If you do, you will be storing up trouble for the future. Some children become toilet refusers as a means of maintaining control. This has to be handled kindly and consistently. Worth reading Chris Green in the latest edition of Toddler Taming.

Agreed, my DGD has fallen into the loo and now is really quite scared of doing it again, but does go with a toddler seat and she also has a portable folding one that she takes to Pre-school, despite them having toddler sized loos anyway!

Let him see the others using the toilet and putting a target in there is a great idea!

Good luck!!