It really irks me!

The term Ms was first used in the US direct marketing industry at the beginning of the last century because it was easier to use that than try and find out if the women they were writing to were Mrs or Miss. It was then later adopted by women’s libbers.

I was married and took his surname and was known as Mrs but it really never felt comfortable with it, it wasn’t my name and I reverted to Miss and my birth name as soon as we split.

For my second marriage I didn’t change my name. He changed his.

I’m using Ms more and more now, mostly because I have a young daughter and it feels right to use that as I want her to be aware that the choice is there. Bloomin DVLC still insist on calling me Mrs though, which annoys me.

I suppose when the media first cottoned on there was a romance ongoing, Kate and Meghan were known by their maiden names and with ongoing publicity it kinda stuck. I remember everyone still referring to Diana, Princess of Wales when she was alive as Lady Di even when she was married.

just to drop in that 'Mrs' short for Mistress , Ms for Miss or Mistress just as
Mr is short for Mister or Master if a child.
I reverted to maiden name many tears ago and sometimes I am Mrs and sometimes Ms. Most times on mail I am first and last name only.

Calendargirl

I was quite proud to take my husband’s surname when we married. It helps that his is a more ‘common’ name than my maiden name was, I was always having to spell it out.

I preferred being ‘Mrs Calendargirl’ than ‘Miss Calendargirl’ also.

Back then you had more status when married, or so it seemed.

Which is probably one of the reasons women don't like being referred to as Miss in middle age. An unmarried friend says it makes her feel like a prim governess or the tragic friend left on the shelf in a Jane Austen novel. Neither of which describe her in the least.

Also, as so many women now work, own their own businesses, look after their own financial affairs etc it is appropriate to have one formal title for addressing women in all official or professional correspondence. Or should clients, bank managers, business acquaintances etc have to run around trying to find out women's marital status before sending them a letter or email?

i recently had to call a company who sent me a letter addressing me as miss, i may be widowed but i still prefer mrs, the girl who answered the phone asked me if it made any difference. i was also asked a few years ago why i still use my late husbands name....it is simple, that is my name and i have never remarried so why would i change it.

I use husband no2 and current husband’s surnames double barrelled. No2 is father to my 3 girls and even though 2 of them are married now it’s our historical connection. My youngest especially finds it comforting. Current husband did consider taking on my previous surname.

It is simply all down to personal choice.

He sounds like hes never had a relationship

I've always used Ms, mainly because its nobody's business if I'm single, married or divorced and its always irked me that as far as I'm concerned, Mrs denotes that you are the property of a man.

I've never been anyones property, so its Ms all the way for me.

Copes283

A male colleague (computer technician btw although this has no bearing on this post!) always commented that "Ms" stood for "miserable" ... I'll just leave this here!

He sounds nice.

A male colleague (computer technician btw although this has no bearing on this post!) always commented that "Ms" stood for "miserable" ... I'll just leave this here!

Ali08 so glad you raised this it bugs the hell out of me too

I was very pleased to take on a new name at remarriage, my first husband's name was the same as my maiden name so it was finally ditched. There's an old saying about change the name and not the letter, change for worse and not for better. That was clearly the case with 5 times the same ** letter. Well rid!!
As for using Mrs, I'm happy to do that too. Marriage is blooming hard work at times, "Mrs" is my badge of office for survival without a jail term and not clocking him one....

The female doctor in my practice years ago was referred to as Doctor (Mrs) B........!

tictacnana

My married daughter incorporated her maiden name into her married name so is double barrelled. She is a doctor so doesn’t need the Mrs. Miss Ms thing as it annoys her that women need to announce their marital status. My other daughter uses my mum’s maiden name as her profession name as a book illustrator.

Yet there seems to be a convention that a woman who is a doctor, either medical or Ph.D., is always referred to in print and on signs as Dr onegivenname surname whereas males medical or Ph,D. are listed as Dr. n-initials surname.

I know that this is done at my GPs on the list of doctors.

When I got divorced I went back to my maiden name now remarried I am Mrs ...
I did want to have a double barrelled name so I could keep my maiden name but new DH didnt want me too. I dont like Ms or Mizz or bein g called Guy as in hey Guys Im not a guy Im a female.

An irk that has arisen in recent years is that if one telephones somewhere where one has been registered for something, that one is asked for name, address and date of birth FOR SECURITY.

It seems to me that there is a danger in that, as it seems that if anyone knows someone's name, address and date of birth and their voice sounds to be of the same gender that the business may accept that the so-called security has been passed and then later claim that the caller gave the correct security information so WE HAD TO PRESUME that it was you and THEREFORE we are not liable for the loss.

Upon stating my name and address one call answerer actually said "And can you confirm that your email address is" and read out my email address. I mentioned that they should ask me to state my email address and compare it to their record, not read it out to whoever called and I was told that they had to do it that way to comply with data protection laws.

So now I just say "yes" and continue.

But feel irked if that is a word!

I would hate that!

I didn't mind taking my husband's surname but was irked when I received letters addressed to Mrs David A.
I had even lost my first name to him.

Casdon

Getting back to the original question, I think calling her Kate Middleton is a way of the press constantly reminding us of Kate’s non royal background. The RF don’t call her Kate, and neither do her own family, and I doubt whether she ever asked anybody to continue calling her Middleton after she married. She should be asked what she wants to be known as, and the press should use whatever that is as her name. It’s different for Meghan in that as an actress she chose her stage name, and still calls herself by that name when working, although she may also prefer a different name for private use.

Probably, Casdon

I noticed the other day that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were referred to as The Duke of Cambridge and Kate Middleton.

Rude and inaccurate; even if she wanted to retain the Middleton surname it would be unofficially in private and she is never known as Kate.

greenlady102

4allweknow

Shoud be Catherine/Megan Countess of ...... Quite a mouthful other than when being written. Media easier to identify which by using actual names. Sure if either women objected media would be told by the official parties. As to loss of Mrs/Miss females have driven this not wanting to be identified as married or not. Not too long until any kind of identification eg male or female will be lost too, we will be a them, they or it!

no, Megan's title is Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Sussex
and Kate (Katherine not Catherine), her title is Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Cambridge.

I believe that the title with the given name first is used by wives who have divorced (or been divorced by) their husbands and not remarried.

Well, the monogram at their wedding was CW not KW.

Kryptonite

Agree with you Shelflife. I believe 'Madamoiselle' has not been used in France for quite some years now.

Nor Fraulein in Germany either apparently, unless specifically requested by the woman. Frau for all adult females.

EP he gives her from his 'care' into the 'care' of another male.
Originally, the woman was the property of the male, and anything she owned became his property also.
That irks me.

Silvertwigs

Looool yep, your dad ‘gives’ you away, you take your husbands name, complete loss of identity!

I insist on being called Ms as I’m divorced and depending what mood I’m in, could be my moms nam, or maiden name or married name!

But he doesn't give her away, as the phrase used by newspapers often purports. He gives her in marriage, which is not the same thing at all. That always irks me!

www.vanityfair.com/style/2016/09/duchess-of-cambridge-kate-middleton-name-title

[My DD] had a terrible time explaining to her husband that she would be Mrs on their wedding day but at work she would be Dr + her maiden name because that is what is on her certificate and how she has always been known since gaining her doctorate.

I hope she has not been having a terrible time with this man, since then.
He does not sound pleasant.