I Feel Terrible

Beauty Bumble, I cannot bear screaming.

You could do shape the little girl's behaviour by not rewarding her with attention when she screams needlessly, and rewarding her with "Good girl" and your smiles when she complies, or stops screaming.

Rather than shouting at her which will have the effect of encouraging her noisiness, you should leave the room she is in. She will not like that and will try to please you by shutting up.

These measures will have to be repeated several times;
however a six year old usually is a quick learner.

Goodness me, no wonder she acts like a spoiled brat!
Dread to think what she will be like as a teenager
I would avoid and enjoy the peace and let them continue to ruin her!
Pity her teachers too

When my daughter was two and took the occasional tantrum I would walk out of the room and go to another room.. The screaming would stop then she would toddle through to where I was and start all over again. No point in having a tantrum unless you have an audience! I would find it quite hard to keep a straight face.

I’m a childcare worker. And what you did was right over the years we’ve had some awful spoilt children and this usually comes from the parents not giving them boundaries. They then send them into us saying ‘ we can’t do anything with them’ I think your daughter has over reacted and I would stand aside for the moment an let her deal with this

Perhaps she needs to be told you only want good girls as visitors not ones that make you unhappy . She is old enough to know better and old enough to manipulate

Thank you Sara1954 ?

I agree with Yorki, the ball is in your daughters court, just leave things be, and hopefully she’ll realise how unreasonable she’s being.

Summerlove... There's no nastiness intended I'm sure. If the child is allowed and ( almost rewarded) for behaving like this, the behaviour will become the norm to her and carry it through to adulthood, only on a more adult level. I've seen it happen and the "once child" becomes a very unpopular adult, it's not pleasant or acceptable.

BeautyBumble.... I do feel sorry for you, I also think your daughters over reacted. I know she's made you feel bad about yourself, and you feel guilty but you haven't hurt her , your not a robot your human, and I can imagine your daughters just as guilty as she claims you to be. Let it go, if she doesn't want you to look after your grandchildren anymore, it's sad for you and your grandchildren, but don't go grovelling, you have nothing to grovel for and by doing so, it just gives your daughter fuel for her fire. Don't go there. " Least said soonest mended " so to speak. Don't be held to ransom. No one likes spoilt kids.

Well, I think your daughter needs to be more firm with her child so that she learns not to scream, your daughter is obviously giving in to her. The more she gives in the worse she will be. I think you did the right thing, shouting won’t hurt her and we all have our breaking point. Don’t feel bad about it. You have to set boundaries for when you are looking after the children, sit her on the naughty step and ignore her until she stops screaming. She will get fed up first and realise it doesn’t work. Good luck.

If the little girl ran into the road, you'd shout to protect her. Some situations you just do. You've done nothing wrong. She'll probably come across many shouty teachers if she carries on screaming like this!

beautybumble, I'm sure that I've shouted at all my children and grandchildren at some point. I'm human, after all - not a saint!

I bet your daughter will think again and you'll soon be needed.

One of my granddaughters was an awful tantrum queen. I tried to ignore - and used to put ear plugs in! She's grown out of it now, thank Heavens!

58bry

Well done you telling the screaming child off. My grandson was prone to tantrums. I give him a certain look now and he desists. Your daughter is obviously selfish and ungrateful. She's cut her nose off to spite her face..

I think we should know better by now that name calling is not helpful.

Really, we are supposed to know better, but so much nastiness towards a child and her mother.

Well done you telling the screaming child off. My grandson was prone to tantrums. I give him a certain look now and he desists. Your daughter is obviously selfish and ungrateful. She's cut her nose off to spite her face..

i cant see that you did anything wrong at all, maybe its a generation thing , at one time smacking would have been the thing to do , no more though of course, now,it seems , even shouting isnt allowed, i think your daughter is being very unreasonable and you have no reason at all to feel guilty in my opinion

Stop feeling guilty. This child is pushing boundaries and identifying who she can manipulate and who she cannot to get what she wants when she wants it. At school she will find that screaming is not on. Nip bad behaviour early to save future problems with her peers, siblings and other adults.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lollipop SNAP well not quite, my DD’s shop of choice was Woolworths in Tunbridge Wells. Screams with accompanying stamping of feet.
Didn’t last too long until she realised I’d gone. I was watching from a distance. Luckily in those days I got sympathetic looks rather than disapproving glares.
Times have changed, I hope your daughter comes down off her high horse and realises you are worth your weight in gold.

you could relate the story of, the girl who cried wolf.
slowly. repeat as necessary.

Your granddaughter is probably screaming as she wants her own way, you were t prepared to put up with it and nor would I, nothing wrong with raising your voice, I’d do the same and take her by the hand sit her down and tell her she should keep there until she learns that we don’t like that behaviour, as she stops how ever long it takes she’d be allowed to carry on playing, each time she did it she would be led away and continue till she learnt screaming gets you no where, like the others said I bet she doesn’t do that at school, I would also tell my daughter what I do, your daughter is acting immaturely as I’m sure she will need you at some point! She needs to show her daughter that screaming is not acceptable. The sooner the better for all your sakes

Years ago you didn’t used to hear these ear splitting, brain piercing screams of temper from children. I have stood at check outs where spoilt, over indulged children (not just toddlers) have been doing this and I have felt so sorry for the shop assistants who can’t get away from it. I don’t believe in indulging this behaviour and certainly wouldn’t encourage it. Nothing wrong in refusing to put up with it. As for daughter saying you’re no longer needed - I wouldn’t indulge her either!

I love all seven of my grandchildren very dearly - most of them are now too old to need baby-sitting or supervising .......... apart from two of them, who happen to be brothers.

The younger one (4) can be more trouble than the older one (12), due to going back time-and-time-again AFTER I've split them up from 'rough and tumble' which results in the younger one getting hurt!

I've now refused completely to have BOTH of them at the same time in my rather small flat.

The only time that I'll do 'the two together' is in their own home - where they've got ALL their belongings around them PLUS their TV System which includes Netflix etc etc (I've only got Basic Freeview plus a few DVDs).

Have you seen the Zoopla Ad on TV about Billy who no longer has to share a room with his little brother, Dylan? Well that's my grandsons - only they are older brother Billy with younger brother Bobby . They DO actually have another old brother called 'Dylan' (age 20) though !

I don't think you did anything wrong.

I am sure my mother would never have sided with me if I'd been naughty and my grandmother had shouted at me. Yes, times were different years ago but sometimes I wonder if things have gone too far the other way. Children are sometimes too much in charge. There is surely a middle ground.

Perhaps if your daughter had raised her voice when this first started, your gd would be better now.

Screaming, to my mind, is a temper tantrum. A tantrum is useless without an audience so it’s best to walk away and ignore a screaming child. They soon get the message.

Spot on Okdokey08 ?