More to life? But what?

I too had the same feeling as my 70th approached I was ,healthy ,solvent,family fine,lots of friends a horse and a dog so a really comfortable RUT!

18 months later I,m writing this from beachfront apartment in Spain listening to the sea with my dog asleep on the sofa.

Of course this was arranged pre virus so it,s very different from what I had planned but I am certainly out of my rut.I didn,t know anyone and I did have a wobble 2 weeks in when I wondered if I could cope alone but i am loving it and soaking up every minute as it,s only for 6 months .My son might be able to come at Xmas but New Year and my 70 th will be celebrated on the beach with my dog!

lovingit I’m so pleased that you are having fun, I wondered how you were getting on.

I've lived in a bungalow since 1983.

I have always had itchy feet and the only thing I have ever wanted to do is travel. Post retirement and before Covid DH and I were able to do some long-haul travel, though not as much as I would have liked as DH has an irrational fear of running out of money and is terrified of spending! I now just feel I am marking time and resenting being stuck here, particularly as DC are both abroad. Roll on vaccination!

Petra - thank you for the info.

Eskay10
roughing it Yes, if you have to make your bed before you can make a cup of tea and use a porta loo, I agree with you.
But if you don't want to go without your home comforts you have to step up to a larger vehicle. One where you get a proper toilet with an electric flush and a full size shower.
And then go the whole hog ( like us) and tow a smart car behind.

Msida

I can understand that you don't want to plod along in a bungalow I hate bungalows and they scream out Old people..

But

I'm going to speak from my heart and hope you do not get offended

You say you are grateful.. You say the words.. But I don't think that you are grateful..

For eg your 70 and still have a loving husband near by... Stop just for a minute and really think what your life would be like without him..
Really think though of what your day would be like without him.

Think it through, dinnertime alone, wake up in the morning alone have breakfast alone. No one to share anything with or to talk to if your having a bad day..

I'll have my children I hear you say,, think again, they are busy getting on with their own lives and although you will get a phone call here and there and even a visit, the majority of time you will be alone and that feeling of being alone will consume you

If I could have my husband back I would be happy to li e in a cardboard box with him

Sometimes happiness is under our nose

Well said Msida, some people never realise how lucky they are and are never satisfied, my husband passed away in April this year age 66, we loved life never been ill all our lives, 44 years married, our children are lovely and considerate, joining me in their lives, but sadly I'm still very lonely and would give anything to have him back ;(

Msida you have taken the words right out of my mouth. Before Covid, and in spite of all you said ringing so true, I was living a very contented life and was very happy teaching my tai chi classes and seeing friends and family occasionally. But I'm in my 80th year now and I feel that the best of what I had left has been stolen from me by Covid. Is this all there is now?

Why not stay by the sea for a few months and find out if it suits you. If you choose a seaside town, (caravan/chalet park - rent a house) you will experience how very different summer and winter can be. Life in cities and towns don’t change in the seasons quite so much IMO. What’s the worst that can happen. You will still be you. Good Luck!!

Msida, touché and snap. However, when your husband was alive were you 'grateful'? Think I kind of took it for granted that mine would be around for a lot longer. Oh, I was glad and happy but grateful was in there somewhere down the line. I hope our plight never takes away from those who are currently experiencing a blessed union. I'm deeply grateful for what I once had. Some people have long unions with little joy. I had less of more and I have to settle for that. I hope you don't begrudge people their present happiness. I certainly don't? Envious? Indeed. In the nicest possible way.

Msida is spot on with her comments. I lost my dear husband in July this year. Living alone is hard, I am terrified of the thought of having a holiday on my own, it won’t happen, I don’t think. I worry about my future, fortunately I am fit and well and do a or if activities. I am 76. But living alone makes me very low in mood.

Rosemary55. We are both in the same boat. What a horrible year all round. Take care.

We are feeling the same, on the verge of selling up moving to the seaside but COVID has way laid our plans, not getting any younger feel the need to get going but can’t, have been lucky in taking long holidays in canaries and campervan but can’t stand living in this house any longer.

I still think the post resonates whether you’re a widow or not. Of course those of us who are widowed (me included) wish things were different but we can’t change what’s happened. That really shouldn’t mean though that we can’t make the best out of the rest of our lives. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway was one of the most perceptive book titles ever - we all owe it to ourselves to do that I think.

This has been such an inspiring thread and I am full of admiration for all the courage and sense of adventure I hear from those who are older. It is a great encouragement to not fear - or to feel the fear and do it anyway!!

To answer your question LadyBella. My husband and I have had great trips on coaches . There are lots of single people ,over a certain age ,on our trips and some companies offer trips for singles only . We met a lady on one trip in the UK who was 92 and did a different 5 day trip every month. We have been to Europe and UK by coach and love and miss it. Roll on next year.

I'd forget about the touring caravan or motor home, you're cooped up at home with one person and you'll be cooped up in a caravan with one person. You may find people to chat to on sites but it'll just be passing conversations. I prefer to spend my money on interesting foreign holidays where you get to see all the wonders of the world and share them with a group of like minded people. We've met some great people this way and seen some amazing places - Kenya safari, Vietnam and Cambodia, India, China, and much more. Get out there before you're too old.

U3A is a great starting point.

Having holidayed on numerous canal boats I must add they are quite hard work in amongst the lovely quiet times. Locks can be hard work, mooring takes a little skill, shopping has to be planned out, muddy canal paths and leaping on and off boats ...
Motorhomes - I have a friend in the US who gave up the house and ties and she and her husband went where the wind blew them, along with 2 dogs and a cat. They had spells of dogsitting around the US too.

My husband got itchy feet when he hit 50 - 9 years ago and he's now with another woman and her two teenage daughters .... Divorce at any moment but I've spent the last 7 years going on some simply fabulous single trips (took 2 year to pluck up the courage). At first I felt a bit of a loser being on my own, but when you are with a group of 8 or 30 people all in the same boat that thought goes straight out the window. You do meet some odd sorts but there will always be a "kindred spirit" or two.

Meetup groups were great, I've had fab trips to Riga, Latvia, Albania (!), different areas of Bulgaria, Italy's Cinque Terra. Coach trips to Tuscany and Venice. With JustYou to Zagreb, Croatia, Amalfi, San Remo ... This is my first Christmas home since 2012. One of the first trips I went on I met a fabulous lady of 72 who was married, her husband worked over Christmas so she thought she'd do something different.

One of the trips (Venice) was mainly couples (only me and one other "single" lady) which I probably wouldn't do again although they were all very welcoming and friendly. I'd recommend a trip like that just to get the travel bug stirred.

I have decided that I too need adventure , so as soon as lockdown and tiers are gone my husband and I are going to travel and I want to do things out of my comfort zone as I am a bit of a scaredy cat . We have booked a wildlife tour of Costa Rica and there are lots of trips into the rainforest etc , it’s not until November 2021 so before that I want to take some swimming lessons (I can swim in a fashion but want to get a proper technique ) that will enable me to snorkel on my own instead of holding husbands hand . Also I’m going to go to Slimming world and lose a stone so that I’m fitter for the walking . Good luck in whatever you decide to do .

Totally agree with everything you say I lost my husband 3 years ago and if I could have him back I would live in a tent .but people don't know what it's like to lose your husband they think they have an idea what it would be like but they don't have a clue how devastating it is I know because I was I of them

A lady I know in her late 80’s got fed up during lock down and as soon as it ended she rented her flat (here) out, moved to Australia (to be near her surviving child) shipped her car out and bought a flat over there. She is loving it! Its never too late.
I am in my 50’s and feeling very much as the OP but travel is my passion and I miss it!

It is interesting to see how some people “picture” their latter years - plodding along in a bungalow- really?
For many, the freedom of retirement has meant holidays,, travel - fine,. And for others , the grandchildren, or hobbies such as the garden, golf or bowls!
But it’s not the externals that make the difference - it’s what’s in your heart. And released from the constraints of the job, the commute, hopefully the mortgage it is easy to dream of being somewhere else isn’t it?
Is it a pipe dream or are you prepared to make sacrifices to make it a reality though?
You could sell up, buy a flat in a city and enjoy the vibrant atmosphere of coffee bars, smashed avocado on sourdough, theatres and galleries or alternatively a “lock up and leave” townhouse and go cruising, travel the world - whatever your income permits.
But it has to come from within , no point in fretting , just get up and (Covid permitting) get up and do it.

Is there anywhere you have always wanted to go? Since learning about Australia at school it was my dream destination! Eventually at 76 with my 2nd husband, I went for 7 weeks! It was amazing. Seeing fairy penguins come out of the sea at sunset, a meal at midnight near Ayers Rock, swimming at the Great Barrier Reef, visiting the southern-most lighthouse, the Great Ocean Road. So many happy memories especially since DH passed away. I’m now 90 - so my long distance travelling days are over but life is an adventure anyway and I’m thankful to at least keep well!

why not try volenteering it can be very rewarding .