Over anxious about bad things happening to my granddaughter

I agree with your ‘first responder’ Lolo81 and so many others here. You’re right to listen to yourself - self awareness leading to the ability to (learn to) self regulate seem to be keys to well being. I’ve been noticing much more advice about all this during the pandemic ...

I think I would worry about GC if they were seriously ill, but I am very fortunate that I don't tend to brood about them normally. When something does happen, like being left with a dehydrated 11 month old GD, taking her to the GP and then in a blue light ambulance to A and E, you just deal with it, (and the distressed DD when she manages to join you at the hospital!) At the time I felt somehow felt confident that she would be okay. Later, there was a 'what if' moment, but it didn't last long.

My sleepless nights are over my adult children, as you can't do anything about the troubles they get themselves into!

Well, you've taken the first step realising it is not healthy to be overly anxious about your grandaughter. Maybe have a think about how that anxiety affects your life and write a list. For example, do you wake up at night worrying or can't fall to sleep because of it. Once you have done that, you can talk to your GP about the pathway in your area to get help. Sometimes, a talking therapy or course about Mindfulness can help. All the services are very busy at the moment but it will get you on the way to a resolution.

Perfectly normal. I'm the same. I just accept those feelings and get on with it.

I worry far more than my DD about my grandchildren - she is of the 'can you move it? It isn't broken then' kind of attitude! I used to worry about my own children when they were younger and I still have the odd sleepless night worrying about them even now.

CBT can be very helpful for anxiety

I do too,but i put it down to loving them too much,i was the same with my two boys.
I think most grandparents do to a degree.
I wouldn`t worry,your normal.

I am so comforted to know others have such feelings. For me, it related more to the fact that GDno.1 went to day nursery from 10 months. I find day nursery for under 3s is a huge societal sickness - I was happy for lockdown so she was saved from that and now I'm available to do the child care for her and GDno.2. So I am at peace. Also taking care to have productive conversations about different opinions is helpful if you understand the thinking of the other it helps to accept different ways of doing. I think we as GPs really want a second chance to better than we did with our children as we think we learned from our mistakes, but unfortunately that's not possible as they belong to their parents. I know my DIL appreciates me more now we communicate and understand each other better - the confidence in our new found communication means we are both much more relaxed.

I'm not sure constant worrying is normal, actually, nor is it a sign of loving your grandchildren "more" than non worriers.

Anything which has a negative impact on your life should be sorted out, so it can be put in perspective.

I too have completely irrational fears for my grown children and my grandchildren, I just worry that they will get some dreadful disease this could have something to do with the fact that my brother died of cancer....☹️

Perhaps it's an indication that you need to deal with your feelings about your brothers death?

Oh I had the same fears for all my little grandchildren. The fears have eased off a little now they are 8,7,6 and 5!!
Its normal and healthy to feel this way.
I often think of elephant herds and how the ‘grandparents’ protect their babies.
It will improve over time

I sometimes see awful things that happen to other people’s grandchildren and wonder how I would cope as they do. I then tell myself to cherish every minute I spend with my grandson and try to convince myself that I have no control over the future - doesn’t always work.

EFT is brilliant. The initials stand for Emotional Freedom Technique and involve tapping on certain acupuncture points. It really does work and has helped me a lot over the years.

There was a documentary on TV a few years ago about people with a fear of flying who did some EFT training and were still tapping on themselves occasionally as they boarded a plane. All of them were fine and extremely relieved that they had conquered their fears.

I am using EFT to get over my spider phobia.

There are dozens of videos on YouTube, plus I would recommend a very simple to follow book called "Emotional Healing in Minutes" by Valerie and Paul Lynch.

This level of anxiety and catastrophic thoughts is not healthy and needs professional attention - ask me how I know ?

it was not the OP that made me think of that quotation.

No of course not. We didn’t worry like that.

I too thought was the only one! When you DC are finally grown up it’s time to start worrying about the DGC and, if you are lucky, the DGGC!

Carolanne1 I empathise entirely. I have worried constantly about all my GC with no good reason at all. It seems worst of all with the youngest but maybe that is because she is the one GC we see all the time because we live close by. Others are abroad or some distance away. This youngest GD I am quite sure I love in the same way I did my own children. Strangely, I worried less about my own children. I think I have become super cautious as I’ve got older. Yes I realise I do catastrophise. Perhaps because I realise I am responsible not just for her but to her parents also.

Bylocal I disagree about nursery unless it’s full time. Without a doubt this is GD’s favourite 1 day of the week; the only time she gets to mix with other children her age (2). We have her 1 day a week which is my favourite day of the week.

Speak to your GP about your anxiety. There are therapies and medication to get rid of these intrusive thoughts and put things back in perspective. Look into CBT as well. Good luck.

Hithere

This level of anxiety and catastrophic thoughts is not healthy and needs professional attention - ask me how I know ?

I was anxious all the time as a young mother. I imagined all sorts of horrors happening to my daughter following a lung and traumatic stay in hospital before and after her birth. Luckily, my health visited suggested that I adopt some kind of mantra to reassure myself, particularly the bedtime, when my fears were worst. Deep relaxing breaths and ‘going to a safe place ‘ in your head can help. Good luck. X

My husband is prone to catastrophising - usually about something bad happening to me. If its affecting your daily life then time to speak to your GP about it. There are medications and talking therapies that can improve the situation. Good luck

Guided Meditation is great for calming your nervous system. A quick google will find you lots of free stuff to choose from.

I want to thank everyone who has responded to my post. I will certainly take on all the advice given. Thank you x