Christmas and presents

I'm with Lucca, find adult present giving a waste of time & money. We hadn't done it for years until son-in-laws parents said we should all have gifts to unwrap on the day. I bought them foodie gifts & book tokens, they bought me highly scented toiletries, (knowing I'm allergic to perfume) & hubby received a Rupert Bear scarf he wouldn't be seen dead in.....straight to the charity shops. In fact I'm quite pleased we won't be seeing each other this year, the money I save will be spent on food & wine for us!

If the people you normally gift to are specifying money or a gift card from you could you ask for particular present from them rather than receiving something you either don't like or want? Makes complete sense to me.

In our family we ask everyone at the beginning of November to produce a wish list of things they would like to receive for Christmas. This is circulated around the family and we tick off, what we will buy that person.

There is no promise they will get everything, or even anything on the list. That way, no-one knows what will be in their beautifully wrapped presents, but the chances of being given something they really didn't want are considerably reduced.

I absolutely love Christmas and the giving of presents for adults and children. Fortunately the whole family are into Christmas too, DD and DGD, almost more than me. so all of us want presents to unwrap and none of us want money or tokens, except in extremis.

Sparkling

I have been asked by family to give either vouchers or cash for Christmas as they prefer to choose their own. I will be on my own this year.I feel upset but am I being awkward? I would give money and presumably get some back. I don't always love what I am given, but pretend I do, after all it's the thought that counts. Am I being very silly.

You could always agree but ask for actual wrapped presents for yourself - that would be a way round it. I personally would rather give vouchers (and you can get universal vouchers that can be spent in loads of shops) than buy something that the person doesn't want. If they have a wishlist it's easier to buy something they want. In my family, trying to get wishlists out of them in plenty of time for Christmas is like trying to get blood out of a stone, so vouchers eases the stress for me of what to buy everybody.
I certainly don't hold with this idea of not buying for adult - there's really not too many in my family and I think Christmas is for everbody not just children.

Can you suggest a gift list of small items that would be nice? Just a little luxury is nice to open, perhaps with a price limit

I love opening presents as well, doesn't matter how small the gift, if its nicely wrapped and had some thought then I enjoy it all. Like everyone we have our own traditions around the day and I resist all attempts to change them, my husband thinks I'm boring
I do have one exception with gifts and that is book tokens, I read so many books its impossible for others to choose one for me, I do have a wish list though.

craftyone

sparkling, me too, they just don`t really comprehend. I have worked around that by buying myself some presents. I am sure they show their love in lots of other ways, like mine do. We adults don`t give each other gifts, my idea and they breathed a sigh of relief when that started two years ago. I shall get phone calls and am aiming for a nice time over christmas, even though on my own, like countless others

I m being thick but I don’t understand your post. You say you suggested no presents. But you say “they don’t really comprehend “ ?

Sparkling I don’t think you’re being daft, there’s nothing like opening a gift. Maybe provide a list of small gifts you would like, so they have some ideas, prefaced by, as you’ve said, you’d like something to open and to enjoy ‘with’ them at Christmas?

sparkling, me too, they just don`t really comprehend. I have worked around that by buying myself some presents. I am sure they show their love in lots of other ways, like mine do. We adults don`t give each other gifts, my idea and they breathed a sigh of relief when that started two years ago. I shall get phone calls and am aiming for a nice time over christmas, even though on my own, like countless others

When my son was five we went to a department store for the Boxing Day sales and he watched a boy his age buying an armload of toys and books and pay for them using tokens. He turned to me and said “next year can I get tokens instead of presents please”. After that my children got tokens, and later cash, along with a book to open on Christmas morning.
My dad loved getting tokens for our local garden centre as it meant that he could buy all his seeds, bulbs, compost and various sundries through the year. The garden centre sold tokens in December at 10% off but they could only be used after January 1st.
Mum preferred cash so she could pick her own things in the sales. Usually clothes or yarn.

In our family we have decided on a budget, this year £15. It is surprising how you really have to think hard! Small children are excluded. My DD in laws have a secret Santa system, again with a budget, for wider family.

This Christmas, more than ever before, I shall look forward to choosing and giving gifts and unwrapping presents from my family. They are all really thoughtful present givers and that includes the grandchildren. Money or vouchers would be a great disappointment. I have even been known to buy a present for myself, wrap it and put it under the tree !

Think I’m getting to this point now dyed to buy presents but the grandkids are getting older now so will be giving money from next year.

What is the point in giving vouchers instead of cash?
You can still see how much has been spent.
Plus it might be a shop that the recipient doesn’t use, or even worse, goes out of business so the voucher is wasted.
I’m with Lucca, I think it’s all a bit pointless for adults.
Charity shops are full of unwanted gifts after Christmas.

Sorry I’m in a minority I know but I feel it’s a nonsense to worry about Christmas at all except for children. With adult friends and family we’ve all agreed on donations to our chosen charity.

I don’t think you are being silly, Christmas traditions include giving a present to show appreciation of the person. Many Christmas scenes depict wrapped presents.
We give vouchers to our adult DCs, but also a Christmas bag ( replaces stockings) with little wrapped gifts. Something to read, eat, wear and smellies.
Personally, unless I get a book token, I prefer a gift that someone has given thought to. I enjoy looking for gifts for other people. Difficult this year. ☹️

You may find your family buy you presents as they probably realise it will be nice for you to have something to open. Our adult children prefer money or an arranged present because basically they don't want to be given things they don't want or need. They see that as a waste of money. I usually give money ( usually a bank transfer ) and a small gift to open, about £5-10 in cost. Try not to be hurt by it and I hope they manage to buy you something you really like

You're not being silly at all. I think most of us like to open a gift or two on the big day!

Not sure how you can get round the issue without just asking for a small gift rather than money!