please tell me to get a grip

That is so tough for you joanna12 and many of us are in the same position just now. Sadly some parents have lost their children, Merlot and Annie and that must be the hardest thing in the world to cope with.

This pandemic will not last forever, nothing does, and eventually things will get better. I am glad that my AC and GC are well, and I try not to worry about what may never happen. Life can be hard, we just have to find ways of managing the best we can. It’s all we can do.

Hi, Joan we’re in west Yorks, I don’t know why but I didn’t see it coming not that fast any way. I’m not a Christmas lover either, I’m always relieved when it’s over, if we can’t see each other this year we’ll just have to think it is only one day and it’ll soon be next year.The children will still have a fab day without us, it’s us that feel everything so acutely. I’m just a bit older than you and seem to become more emotional the older I get ,don’t know why, too much overthinking I think. I had a really down day yesterday, but feel much brighter today, especially after reading this thread .Their are some lovely people onhere that have been through so much it makes my heart ache. So let’s be thankful that our families are safe and keep our fingers crossed for better times.

Hi Kathy,so sorry you missed a last visit.Do you live in Wales like us?My parents live in Swansea so they locked down today we live three miles away but come under another county and we lockdown tomorrow my son lives in a third county and they lockdown tomorrow,hope it won't be more than a month but know I am kidding myself.I am writing off Xmas this year,not a Xmas lover anyway plus Xmas day is my last fifty something birthday.I know there is so much more to worry about then me seeing my two grandchildren and they are safe they have not been out since march my son has been shielding them for no underlying health condition just because that was their choice.They must be under huge stress but I am the one stressing out.Tomorrow I will grow up.I don't think I am menopausal,I think it's passed me and I didn't have any issues,so that's something to be thankful for very thankful.People are very kind,gransnet is amazing do glad I found it.

I’m not going to tell you to get a grip because I feel the same. I was near to tears all day yesterday as we have just gone into lockdown I didn’t get enough warning to have a last visit! We missed both their birthdays aged 2 and 5 and now the prospect of Christmas keeps jumping into my head it’s so upsetting. I just keep telling myself at least we are all safe for now.

joanna12

Thank you.Sorry but i am a moaning Mary and i do need a good shake.We are now in lockdown from tomorrow and my son is in the area they live from tomorrow so who knows what's next.

I'll join you in the moaning Mary camp today.

DD2 and DSiL were supposed to come for an overnight stay on Friday night but had to cancel because somebody in DSiL's office has tested positive so he has to isolate - which means they all have to. The weather was awful so it wouldn't have been much fun trying to eat outside anyway.

DD sent me some flowers to cheer me up but they never arrived. When she queried it with Waitrose they immediately gave her a full refund - no quibbles. Why? Because the delivery driver said he'd delivered them but the photo he took of where he left them conveniently had his finger over the lens. I wonder how often this happens?

I hope his OH is enjoying my flowers!

joanna, another thing to consider is, are you menopausal? Most of us are, and that’s all been compounded by this dratted virus. There’s a great thread going at the moment, started by GN. It’s asking women to write in their questions for a doctor to answer in October. I think 15 will be picked, but it’s so helpful to just read how other women are affected. I’m not saying all your feelings would change if you knew it was connected to menopause, but it may help you accept it more.

Thank you.Sorry but i am a moaning Mary and i do need a good shake.We are now in lockdown from tomorrow and my son is in the area they live from tomorrow so who knows what's next.

One other thing Joanna time passes in a year or so we will have forgotten this we ll be writing on here do you remember when we all had to stay in for a while wasn’t that a bugger difficult time
Fix your eyes on the good times ahead and make the most of any little positive thing that happens now

joanna12, you are all fit and well. That's the whole point of the sacrifices we are making.

Be very thankful for that, wait it out, be brave - and dive into focussing on something else, anything else, as a distraction until the time when you can safely visit again.

OK, things are tough, but we are not being bombed, watching people die - or our children starve. People have to cope with those terrible situations. Our troubles are so minor by comparison.

Thank you all so much.I really do appreciate all you comments.Its me I know it is,and I will try and woman up,I know everyone has their own problems so I thank you for taking time for mine.x

I agree with sodapop and think you should have a word with your doctor or practice nurse, joanna12. These are strange times and it’s only natural to have occasional wobbles, but being just one word away from tears all the time seems a bit excessive to me in your situation. Rather than being told to get a grip, you may need some support. Look after yourself.

Miss A Annie Merlot

To OP I read this the other day on FB

'We isolate now, so when we gather again no one is missing'

Hearing stories of other people’s tragedies being worse than yours is not necessarily helpful as all situations are relative. However what you do need to see is that those brave people have managed to carry on and survive and you can too.

Sometimes life gives you no choices. I lost my son some years ago to Muscular Dystrophy and so I know there are good days and bad days. Right now I too find everything very scary and dh just says nothing we can do. If you can do try to get a grip or at least try not to let yourself panic - take deep breathes and try to find something else to occupy your mind. Tell yourself your family are safe and well and you must hold the line. You can do it.

MissAdventure Anniebach Merlotgran

We all have different stress and anxiety levels joanna and you have to find ways of dealing with it. I'm sorry you miss your family so much its hard I know. Have you talked to your Dr or nurse about some help in the short term. Try not to focus so much on your family but look at all the other things you have in your life. As others said accentuate the positives they are well and happy. Hope things improve for you soon.

every other word is about the children

Well, you can do something about that. Talk about other things. If nothing else, Covid has made me realise how many GN’ers just live for their grandchildren, which can’t be healthy or necessary.

Some of us have family, sons, daughters, grandchildren, the other side of the world who we haven’t seen for years and the way things are have no idea when we will see them again.

Yes, get a grip!

Just on this one thread we have 3 women who have lost children. Not the way life is supposed to happen.

During this horrible time there will be many others who will have to deal with great sadness.
At the moment if you are well and safe then hold on to the thought that you are lucky.

I’m sorry but I’m another one who agrees with the OP, she needs to get a grip, her family is healthy, she and her DH are healthy and safe.
Get something to do to take your mind off of it and stop obsessing.
Life doesn’t suck, it’s a brilliant world with places to go and see and walk in, take advantage of it.
We aren’t having bombs dropped on us, count your blessings and remember you are all safe and that is what counts.

Hello. The least they could do is provide you with warm shelter in the garden. The GC are too young at the moment to understand gran/ grandad are out in the cold. I am not any good at video link stuff but I know people are, but even then it would be a devil of a job to get tiny kids to stay for chat on camera. Could the parents post you the older ones attempts at art etc that you could keep in a scrap book to show them later what they did, when covid was around. Ignore anyone who says get a grip, it's your feelings that count. Do not let people dismiss them. Your son may be anxious to prevent you and your husband from getting covid from them unwittingly. Your day will come, to embrace them, and play hours of Lego or latest film on repeat. Send the children some photos of nan and grandad doing hobbies, interests you enjoy, and write short letters. Older one will start reading soon. I loved letters from my gram, she lived 200 miles away.

So sorry for those of you who have lost children and partners.
OP - others have given good advice so I would just add please think about your OH who is going through the same as you and putting a brave face on it. You are making life very hard for him. I too have not seen my DGC since January but I know they are ok and I doubt they are missing me or my DH all that much, tbh. They are busy with school and their own interests. Covid will come to an end, perhaps not this year but I am looking ahead to next Spring when hopefully there will be a vaccine. Maybe even before that, the signs are good. So be strong, find useful and interesting things to do, and you and our OH will see your DGC again just as you did before.

Sorry you are feeling so cut off OP but a little confused may have misunderstood but if you are not in a lockdown area why were you in the garden

MissAdventure Merlotgran Anniebach

Joanna some days will be worse than others. I think many of us are very up and down. You just need to find something to occupy yourself with and be glad they are ok. It won't last forever and you will see them again.

See, op?
We're all miserable, really.
You're in good company.

Annie, merlot and MissAdventure have given very good examples to put your worries into perspective joanna12. You/we have much to be thankful for. Count your blessings.

MissA merlot x x

I tell my C I am fine because I know that is what they want to hear.

Same here, Annsixty. They have problems of their own. I just tell them we're fine and not to worry.