Long-distance grandparenting

Moggie57- People don't like to hear the truth on this forum. Decisions are made for various reasons but it's no good then complaining that things will change!!

Goodness, Rena, this is also my dilemma. I have always been closely involved with my 3 grandchildren. They live 70 miles away but as I'm a teacher I have always done much of the holiday childcare. However, I'm 59 but my husband, who is much younger than me, has decided we must move to the other end of the country. I agree with his reasons and would be looking forward to it, but for my daughter. She is angry and hurt and can't believe I am considering leaving her. She is happily married but her husband works long hours. But I don't think I have a choice. My husband has been very good to my daughter and grown up sons, but this move is something he is very keen on. I've told her I'll come down for a month in the summer and they can come up for holidays, but she is devastated. I've either got to go with him, or leave him and devote myself to my grandchildren. What complicates matters is that we have an 11 year old. I've spent much of the last week in tears.

Look at it this way, it could easily be the other way round and your family moving 500 miles away from you. We only get one chance at life and some opportunities are too good to miss. My friend had the chance to move to Australia and didn't because of her family, she regrets it to this day. She's not bitter, just sad. Good luck.

Moggie 57
That’s not a helpful remark !!!

good luck, but I couldn`t do it..
but then,I am elderly, and my gks were being born, just as I was about to retire.. so not sure if that makes a difference.

you don`t say how old you are Rena, that would certainly make a difference to any decision I would have to make.

best of luck,

Think of the wonderful visits you will have. None of us should centre our lives on our GC. Their parents might also receive an offer they can’t refuse . GC grow up Very quickly and want to spend more time with their friends.

Rena my DGC live 10,000 miles away, at first it was tough, eventually as they've got older it's got a bit easier. We are lucky nowadays with FaceTime and Skype, but I do envy grandparents who have their grandchildren nearby.

Your grandchildren will be able to keep in touch in many ways now Rena I understand its not the same as living close by but life throws us curve balls sometimes. You are just as entitled to take this opportunity as your adult children would be don't feel guilty.
There will be holidays and weekend visits, make these count you will all enjoy meeting up again. I wish you luck in your new life, you have done your parenting now enjoy your time.

moggieabsolutely uncalled for comment. How nasty. The world is so small because of technology. I'm sure you will be able to keep in touch really well. And if you have room, you'll be able to have family for extended visits. ?

You’re well-named, Moggie with that unwarranted comment.

moggie57

i am sure your grand children will be visiting ...and there is video link and telephone calls. just hope the job is more important than your family.......

I never said the job was more important than my family.

There are lots of long-distance grans here on GN - I’m one of them. My oldest two GC live 3,500 miles away in America and the next two live more than 500 miles away in London. The fifth GC is a ‘mere’ two hour drive away, which feels almost on my doorstep!

We are lucky today to have things like FaceTime to enable us to keep in touch and I’d say we have excellent relationships with all of our GC, who range in age from 10yo to 2yo. In some ways, I see more of the far-away ones than friends see of their local GC, in that when they visit (not this year, of course) they’re here for an entire two weeks, or we visit them for two or three weeks.

Think of it as doing things differently, instead of being better/worse. You’ll also have the excitement of moving and getting to know a new place and then introducing your GC to your new home.

2 of my GC age 5 and 6 are 130 miles away. I see them most days on video calls. In addition they love to receive a letter and I usually enclose a little bar of chocolate that can fit through the letterbox. They enjoy writing back to me and my livingroom wall is covered in drawings they’ve posted to me.
It’s tough being apart but it makes the the times physically together even more precious.

My heart goes out to grandparents whose GC are overseas and maybe can’t visit them at all. I appreciate how lucky I am.

Think of the quality of your visits with them. You will all be so excited to see each other and when they visit they will have such an adventure.
With technology they could see you constantly and share their day to day lives.

You have got to live your life to the fullest. This sounds like an amazing opportunity and you should absolutely grab it with both hands

i am sure your grand children will be visiting ...and there is video link and telephone calls. just hope the job is more important than your family.......

Oh RENA1987,your G/children know you love them and would want you both to be happy.
The world is a small place and you can use the internet to keep in touch via video link.
Please don`t let this move upset you,it`s an exciting journey you are both about to make.
I wish you both the very best.