I don't want to leave LO overnight yet

I haven’t read any other replies, so sorry if repeating. I’d decided ‘ no’, from your third line, just leaving him overnight. Once I got to the dog...and then your MIL taking it personally.....forget it. He is the most precious thing in your life, there’s absolutely no need for overnight stays at his age. If anything happens to him, to most people it’ll just be something horrible that happened, and will become a distant memory, but you’ll live with it forever. Don’t do it.

As the baby grows and becomes a toddler, the dog is going to become an ever bigger problem. At the moment, the baby stays where he's put but once he's mobile, that's going to be very difficult and I'd be very cautious about taking him where the dog is.

Perhaps you could be conciliatory and invite them over to your house for an hour and a so that they can re-establish their relationship with their DGS.
As long as they leave the dog at home.

I wouldn't even want to visit myself with a dog like that in the house.

Agree with Callistemon.

When I say slowly perhaps when your DS is about 3 or 4?and only if he is happy to stay.
And the dog is not there.

You absolutely should not buckle in to this. Your baby barely knows his grandparents, his grandparents barely know him. It’s sad that Covid19 has brought this about for many grandparents and very young grandchildren who can’t be expected to remember people they haven’t seen for months, but it is what it is. Luckily for us, our grandchildren all remember us well, even the two year old, but that is because we had such a lot to do with them before Covid19 and because they’re older. We also saw them via FaceTime and over the wall short visits throughout the crisis. We made up stories and read them and sent the videos to them to keep in touch. I also baked goodies for them and grandad made a variety of garden planters for them to look after. But your child is a baby and these things couldn’t or weren’t done. Only allow your baby to stay overnight when you are sure he’s familiar with his grandparents and when the dog situation is sorted to your satisfaction. To be honest I think a one year old baby is too young to stay overnight away from his parents unless it is an emergency.

Not yet, especially as they have been out of contact due to COVID for 4 months. And with an aggressive dog? No.

They need to take it slowly. And put the dog in the kennels for the night.

Chewbacca

Nope, you're not being unreasonable in the least. In your shoes, I wouldn't be leaving my baby either. As for the dog.... I wouldn't be visiting myself, let alone leave a baby.

Same advice from me.

Nope, you're not being unreasonable in the least. In your shoes, I wouldn't be leaving my baby either. As for the dog.... I wouldn't be visiting myself, let alone leave a baby.

My adult daughters and my grandchildren are great but it wouldn't occur to me to want to have them stay overnight on their own unless there was an emergency or the parents particularly asked me to. I just don't get it why grandparents want or expect this.

I've brought up children now it's time to enjoy my grandchildren, often but in small doses. If I babysit, I go to theirs. It doesn't bother me if they adults want to stay out late as I'm happy to just drive home and, if they come back somewhat 'inebriated', tough on them if their kids wake up early the next morning! I shall enjoy the lie in.

No, you certainly aren't being unreasonable. You in-laws didn't see your little one for months, they don't know his likes and dislikes, and they've got an aggressive dog - besides which, your son is still a baby and too young (in my opinion) to be away from you overnight.

Let her think and say what she likes - at least you've got the backing of your husband.

If you don't want to leave your young child with your MIL, then don't. It is entirely your decision and she is being unreasonable by "taking it personally". In fact I'd call taking it personally a deliberate way of trying to make you feel bad. Don't let it.

By now you must be feeling validated, so I hope you will stand up to your MiL and keep your baby safe from both the dog and any exposure to Covid19.

You are being very generous on offering a compromise - yet, she doesn't appreciate your gesture
You know you dont have to negotiate this, right? You don't have to offer day visits instead of overnights.
This is not a coparenting and custody agreement situation.

I would be reticent to over day visits - the dog is a huge red flag.
If dog is going to be present, no visits with mil, for your baby's safety. Hill to die on. Your mil is picking her selfish whims over her family.

Has mil tried to train her dog? Address this aggressiveness?
The dog is a victim in this case.
You are under reacting.
If you haven't tried yet, your dh should talk to her about the boundaries you and your dh want to implement and consequence for breaking them.
Example: you visit, dog is there, you leave right away

Bottom line - you said your mil was always unreasonably demanding and never happy.
Nothing you can do will change that.

Do what's best for your core family and mil will have to deal with her unreasonable expectations.

This a child , not a toy or a pet! She is totally off

Your baby, your rules. I have had my grandson overnight in the past when he was about 8 months old. That was instigated by his mum. I have never pushed for an overnight as he's not my baby and I look after him two days a week. Your Mil is out of order.

No way and the dog should be safely secured away in the future when you do visit.

Seems extraordinary to me that some grandparents seem to feel they have a right to their grandchildren. The child is not theirs! Stick to your guns!

My in laws had the children overnight occasionally so that in a crisis they would be happy away from us. No. 2 caused a lot of problems in utero and in the end dear MiL had No. 1 for six weeks - an age for an eighteen month old, who was totally untroubled and adored her grandparents. We were glad we had prepared our child for this, but there was no dog (would have been a definite no no) and MiL was totally committed to doing things our way. We were lucky.

Have had one GD a lot as a small child, the other two much less, and we know them less well. Being a grandparent is a privilege, not a right, do stick to your guns.

No you are not unreasonable. We have just had DGS1 and DGD to stay overnight for the first time and they are 6 and 3 and were ok but know us well as we mind them twice a week and had each other.
My DS had to be brought home age 10 when staying with a friend (we brought the friend too) and wouldn't stay away after till he was in his teens.

She has no right to put this pressure on you, you are the mother follow your instincts and don't question them, you need to feel comfortable about any such arrangement. An aggressive dog would always be a worry, it's heart breaking to hear about young children and babies mauled by a dog sometimes fatally. On occasions these tragedies have occurred at a family member's home, it's too late to be sorry once it's happened.

I do like dogs and many are great around children, but I think a child/baby's safety has to be paramount around one that is unpredictable.

The dog is enough to make you say no. If she takes umbridge then that's her problem.

You say you do not want to leave your child overnight YET - there is no reason why you should want to leave him at all!

Tell her to take a hike! Honestly, I am sorry to be so blunt, but why, just why, should you entrust your child to the care of someone who has a dog that needs muzzling and who barely knows the child?

Just say NO !!!!

If you have need of overnight care for your child, then that is a whole different ball-game because there is a sound reason for you to be looking at who might be most suitable - but your MIL has no right to ask this of you.