This is difficult

I think moving is a good idea and as EllenVannin suggests maybe a housing association flat or similar, or even warden assisted in light of possible further health problems?

I also think that your children's inheritance is just that ...and whilst you are here it is YOUR money to do with as you see fit. You say there is needling between your children which presumably means they are arguing about helping you and this is upsetting you? All the more reason to sort yourself out in a way that suits you, solves your worries and means they don't have to discuss/argue because you are sorted for yourself.

Good luck

rafichagran - we all see things differently. Over the past 6 years I have acted as an unpaid childminder to 4 children now aged from 3 - 6 years. These were long, long days for someone who is not very well. In one instance involving me in travelling 200 miles round trip to do the necessary. So no. I have no sense of 'entitlement' as you put it. I have simply bent over backwards to provide them with free child care and had hoped they could assist me with this one task. That's all. I don't know what the outcome will be.

Inheritance or not, your children probably can't afford to help with the maintenance, especially the way things are. If I were you I would downsize at least, rent if not.

I've never expected or wanted any sort of inheritance though, life is to be enjoyed, or at least made as comfortable as possible. Make your living situation one you can manage for yourself and I'm sure you will be much happier and then able to enjoy a more positive relationship with your children

I think you should look after yourself and not worry about leaving an inheritance.The best thing you can give your children is your own independence.

If the house is getting too much for you and you need help maintaining it then perhaps you should sell and rent or buy something that is easy to manage.

.

It seems to me, Thistlelass, that you need to put yourself first now. Your health condition must be making it difficult to cope with house maintenance as well as other matters, including finances.
I know most parents see their property as their children's inheritance, but parents need to make sure that they can manage their own old age. Children don't have an absolute right to inherit anything from their parents, specially if they can't or won't help their ageing parents. And you wouldn't want to drive your children away by making demands on them.
I agree with Namsnanny. Look into the possibilities of downsizing or renting. It's your life, and as you say, you are not old!

I'd be thinking about selling and finding somewhere to rent. What about a 55 and over type flat/apartment which are usually subsidised by either a local council or a non-profit making housing association ? The rents are usually cheaper and rates reduced as a single person. Less/ no worry about finances and maintenance.

Whatever money you have from the sale you can then do what you like with though above all, tuck some away for your future.

Nams The poster asked what we thought, that is what I thought. What's my reply got to do with you.

rafichagran ... do you think your post helped?

Thistlelass ... first I'm sorry your dealing with these health problems. Forgive me for saying this, but what is the prognosis?

You clearly cant continue in this piecemeal fashion. But heart warming though it is when family help out, it can and often does put pressure on them.

If I was you I would think hard about either downsizing or renting a smaller place.

You may need the cash in the future (from your original home) to help with any number of things.
You could also share some of the proceeds out between them at the same time (if a) you want to or b) you can) as an inheritance for them.

Dont forget about yourself in all of this. An inheritance is a luxury, and you are not obliged.

Good luck

I am the same age as you. I really do not think you should expect your adult children to help you, they have their own lives.
I actually did not believe this post was real at first, I find your sense of entitlement astounding. I have 2 adult children and J would not dream of asking them for help.