Mothers Day

No Nannan2 I wouldn`t!
It is her special day to spend as she chooses with her family.
Personally I would be saddened if any of my children felt "obliged" to spend time with me on Mothers Day (generally they don't ).
I chose to have them & my job was to help them develop into independent adults with their own lives, partners, families etc.
Just pick another day to enjoy a get together with your daughter & grandchild.

Maybe these people just arent 'family people' who knows. A loving family is hopefully where the new baby has been brought into and one who would all want to show appreciation of special days.Not just 'on their own'.thats just a couple.with a baby.they become a family as it grows,it turns them into a small family..and if they have extended family,to share the baby with,all the better.

And what of the son-in-law’s own mother, Nanan2? Is she to be ignored while he’s making plans for his wife’s family?

But thats the point im making Goodbye,that as the daughter,if i cared for my own mum,i would NOT be obliged to do it,i would WANT TO do it!? Of course theyre all independant adults,but if they have no feelings enough to WANT to spend at least a tiny bit of a special day with their own mum then that says a lot about that person.( not especially mothers day,but whatever is special to them) of course this lady is happy for her daughter& wants to see her& much longed for baby that day,cant you see its special for her,as a mum& grandma also??)its a 'first' for her too! I dont expect all my kids to drive 72 miles to turn up on my doorstep for mothers day,sometimes they do,sometimes not,sometimes i go to them.but if not they ring.and send cards,gifts,whatever.But i know they would WANT to,if they could.And NOT out of obligation.

Congratulations on the birth of this much-longed-for baby.

There are two sides to every family. At our suggestion, we're getting together Saturday to accommodate the other side of the family.

We've heard no mention of SiL's mother? If he has one who is still around then im not saying she should not be included.when i say the whole family,i meant her too.the OP did not mention her at all,so maybe he has not got her around anymore? In which case maybe he cant fathom how special his own wifes mum is to her on this day?(indeed if she is?) I also wonder why none of you have questioned why one daughter,who is ALREADY a mum,wants to still visit her mum on mums day,but the other suddenly DOESNT want to?

And when i say "says a lot about that person" i meant says a lot about the daughter,not her mother..

I have never been taken out for Mother Day and cannot understand the fuss. It suits card shops, florists and restaurants to make a buck.
My thirty something offspring send me a card, pres ent or flowers sometimes. I would rather they kept the money for themselves as life is expensive bringing up children and paying a mortgage. Plus my daughter and daughter in law are celebrating their Mothers Day.

Sending you a hug OP as you are feeling hurt.

Let the fact that your DS and DIL have a much wanted baby and think of their happiness as your Mothering Sunday treat.

Whatever happens it will not stop you from being a mother. ?

Given that the OP says her daughter has just had a baby, maybe the new mother is tired, sore from giving birth or busy breastfeeding and both parents are tired from broken nights.

As for the idea that the SIl’s theoretical mother is also invited - suppose the SIL also has sisters? And that granny is still alive? Both grannies, in fact? Are they all to be invited? Maybe the new parents don’t have enough money to pay for a meal for everyone?

I’ve never expected my adult children to prioritise me over their partners. That’s not the way of things, they should be concentrating on their lives, not mine.

Is this a wind-up? All these replies and Ceitdh hasn't posted again in answer to any of them!

Totally agree with suedonim. Both me and my husband have never expected any of our adult children to prioritise us over their partners, it’s your daughters special day, stop thinking of yourself and for goodness sake let your dd spend her day how she and her husband want to

I have always believed that it is better to give, and not to count the cost. Just because you have been so generous in the past does not mean that your daughter owes you anything in return. I dare say they were glad that you paid for their IVF and I dare say you were adequately thanked, so send them on their way with your blessing.

Do you feel you have bought the rights to Mother’s Day by paying for the ivf?

I cant believe you can be so selfish. You would do well to reread your post through another's eyes.

Your daughter is going to have her first mother's day and you should expect her to have it with her own family.

Did your mother come first when you were a new mother??

Kittylester's suggestion is good.

I'm still astounded to read such a mean post

Ialways tell mine no presents no fuss ,its a made up day to make money by guilt tripping folk .
I see and speak to my AC daily thats far more important to me than "mothers day" or chocolates etc .
Let your daughter enjoy her first mothers day with her own wee family and be happy ofr her

Let her enjoy it.

I get they had a struggle and you have helped them but maybe that is what their own Mother's day is about. Their celebratation. Try not to be hurt and rejoice in the fact she wants to do something on Saturday with you. Step back and allow them to be the lovely new family they are. I'm sure there be other times when you will all be together.

I can’t stand all these’ special’ days. There’s so much expected of people. All the obligation and duty. I always said to my kids, that having them was my pleasure, and they’re not obliged to do anything else. Your daughter is now a mum herself. It’s her turn. Don’t turn this trivia into anything bigger, because you could find yourselves not seeing them at all in the future.

Maybe you could consider what we celebrate in the USA as Grandparent's Day on Sunday, September 13, 2020. Then again there may be two sets of grandparents. That is when we have lunch with one set and supper with the other.

Yes you are being unreasonable.dont make an issue if this. Family changes. You have had many Mothers Days with your daughters and now it’s her turn. I used to think’ I’m a mother too’ while spoiling and treating g my own mother.

I so agree with you endlessstrife,! Too much pressure on special days. I always say to my children to do their own thing and I will see them when it’s suitable for all.

I would be pleased she had such a lovely husband. Let her enjoy her day & you continue to be the lovely Mum who helped it happen.

Ceitdh - your question AIBU -yes. I’m sorry but I agree with everyone else who says it's your daughter's turn to enjoy Mothers Day now. You've had your lovely time with your daughter, now it's her turn to start their family traditions and enjoy their family time.

Once my DD became a mother she became THE most important person on Mother’s Day. I have had 25 years of her undivided attention and now it is up to her DH and DS to make being a mum special to her.