Mothers Day

Her first mother's day is special and more so as it was difficult for her to get pregnant as this was an ivf baby. You have had her there every mother's day for years. Don't make her feel guilty for wanting to rejoice in being a mother herself.

My Son takes his Wife out with their Son for Mother’s Day, things change when your children have their children. We all do our best for our children, paying for their IVF doesn’t I’m afraid doesn’t give you priority.

I agree with the OPS who say that this is your daughters first mothers day, so her husband wants to celebrate this.

MamaCaz is right. Take her advice, and marvel that your son-in-law is spending it with his wife instead of with his mother.

My son will not be seeing me on mother's Day this year. They have a 6 month old baby and he wants their first mother's Day to be just them and he is taking then out. They are seeing me the day before and I'm seeing my daughter and her family on the actual day. I just feel so proud that my son is doing that for the mother of his child. Some mothers don't see any of their children on mothers day. You are very blessed. My eldest son died 10 years ago of cancer, I'd do anything to have him coming on the Saturday and not the Sunday. You must feel upset but try looking at how so blessed you are. You sound a lovely mum and they sound a loving family. Enjoy the weekend with your children. X

Since my DDs became Mums I’ve insisted Mother’s Day should be for them to spend with their families. I feel I’ve had my time and now it’s theirs. Sometimes we manage to get together over the weekend, and they always buy me cards and presents, but they are the Mums now so they should be the ones being spoiled.

I have told both my daughters not to bother with Mother's Day. We are having a family meal together in April for my birthday and that will do both events.

Sorry Ceitdh, if you say anything it could ruin your relationship with your daughter. Smile (through gritted teeth if necessary) and say how thoughtful her husband is.

From my understanding you will have your other daughter and son to celebrate with you on Mothering Sunday. The advice to broach the subject first and see your youngest on the Saturday makes good sense.

You are truly blessed to have two daughters who want to recognise Mothering Sunday and see you at this time, there are many of us with at least one son for whom it means nothing!

Agree with everyone else. Mothers Day(or Mothering Sunday), Christmas, Birthdays, etc. They are all just a day, but oh dear, on Gransnet they seem to cause no end of fuss and arguments and tears, and for what really?

Please, please - don't be upset! As a mum who gets a card sometime in that week (and doesn't grieve if it gets forgotten) - just think how lucky your daughter is to have a husband who wants to treat his wife and the mother of his child. He should be encouraged, not told he's upsetting you. Life changes, be happy for your daughter.

I agree with other GNs here, Let your DD spend her Mothers Day in the way she wants. She is a Mum now, and she needs to enjoy this, her way. Just be happy for them. Many of us GN Mums haven't seen our AC for years on Mothers Day, for a variety of reasons, (me included - my AC is overseas) so you should perhaps focus more on how lucky you are, to have your DD nearby. I think you should feel be delighted that your DD wants to see you on the Saturday - and be happy for her!

You are being selfish for all the above reasons. Are you going to forever hold over your daughter's head all that you did for her? It doesn't speak well for you.

You need to count your blessings you had daughters, you should try being the mother of sons quite often we get left out. Can’t you arrange the Saturday for your day and let your daughter’s have their day with their own children. You won’t come first now they have their own children just let them have the day to themselves.

She’s now a mother ( even if you paid for it, she did the hard work!!!!).
You don’t have the monopoly on your children. She deserves to Mark this occasion.

I was an only child and my mother expected me to visit her on Mothers Day, 70 miles away, but did not want to share me with her grandchildren. She ignored the fact that I was a mother myself. We got round it by having a full blown Mothers Day with my 3 kids on the Saturday and me going to her on the Sunday. This kept the peace!

Oh, for goodness sake, provided you have regular contact with your daughters, this is just another day. Let her and her husband celebrate that she is now a mother.

This is an American invention.

I love America,, and most Americans,, but come on.

we make too much of this sort of stuff, imo

yes, I can understand you feeling a bit deflated.. but does it really matter? I have two sons, two dils.. and yes, I think they remind their husbands, my sons to send a card..

sometimes flowers,,, but I like to think that my ds and dils
think of me every day of the year, not just one ,designated by some ????

Never celebrated Mother's day, my kids brought up to think it is a load of commercial nonsense!
I know they love me.

Now your daughter is a mother it’s her time too to be spoilt , you should be happy her husband cares and wants to do something special for her I think that’s lovely . Does it really matter if you see her on the Saturday surely any time spent with our children should be cherished just because this day has a label it doesn’t make it any different to another day . I actually get more pleasure from a random date with my children than one that is commercial and expected

Well I’mafraid I agree with all the comments here. Her husband wants to celebrate His wife being a new mother and it’s wonderful experience the very first time acknowledging being a mum and dad on a special day.!! For years they have shared the day with you and now it’s their turn as the next generation to start their own traditions. You feel hard done by but there’s no need for it. You are still cherished by your family and daughter still will share part of the weekend with you. Ignore the fact you helped them in paying for the treatment. That cost should never be mentioned. Just enjoy the fact that you have a healthy lovely grandchild and a wonderful daughter who is agonising how to tell you her husband is taking her out as a new mother on Mothering Sunday.! You should be so happy that their marriage is so happy and joyful and so, go pick up the phone to call your daughter to arrange a place to meet on Saturday!! No more sulks be happy for them and all the family! You can do this I know because if you were not such a kind caring mum they wouldn’t ever come visit you or share these days with you!!! Chin up Grandma to a wonderful new baby!! Xx

How sad of the OP to feel this way. We help our children if we are able, we don’t buy their attendance. My mother was like that expecting Mothers’ Day to be all about her all the time every year though we all had our families and our own responsibilities.
How lovely of your son-in-law to be making the day about his wife’s new status as a mum ceitdh

Polnan, Mothering Sunday is English. The recognition of Mother's Day - the second Sunday in MAY - came from America. The commercialism of both is driven by profit-sharing companies. Let's not blame now this on the Americans.

This has to be a spoof letter. I struggle to believe that anybody could be THAT selfish toward their own child.

This is the first post I’ve ever read where every single poster is in accord, I’d be feeling a bit lonely if I was the OP! Perhaps that’s why she hasn’t responded.

C, from your opener, I take it that your 'gifts' are not unconditional. Sad. For me, every day I see my children becomes my day. Unfortunately not half as often as I would like but they, like many others, work and manage young families constantly. Relax and try enjoying being a M and GM when the opportunity presents itself. I certainly do.