Siblings sharing a bed

I’m not sure they should be in the same bed. Singles would be fine. The parents could be setting themselves up for problems later on.

Oh David, we're talking about sleeping, not touching for goodness sake. tsk.

nothing wrong with that .unless they themselves feel uncomfortable.

Icanhandthemback
Dead right.

Children do not "sexually explore" that way unless coached at some point.

Sadly, sexual abuse is experienced by many children from birth onwards.
The brain will retain much sensory memory about the abuse.

It is frighteningly common - people would be shocked if they knew the whole story.

The bigger picture is accepting however vigilant: a paedo only needs a few minutes to damage a whole family. The cycle has many victims.

Another person here when inappropriate behaviour took place when I was under 5 sharing a bed with a 6 year old cousin. My sister too with our cousin who was 5 and she was 4. My half sister and half brother experienced too. After recent revelations within the family, they are investigating whether we were actually abused by an adult when we were too young to remember and this coloured our activities.
These things haunted me for years and I was absolutely vigilant when my children when they were younger after especially after my daughter was raped buy her half brother when she was 4 and he was 8. They were playing upstairs with other kids whilst I was downstairs and nobody said a word for months. I don’t use the word lightly either. The language and force he used were socking. Judging by the number of women I have met with similar stories, I think it is more common than you think.

Starlady.
I am not approving or disapproving merely asking the opinions of others.
This has nothing to do with my children or grandchild.

@Seefah

I would report the incident of the 7yr old boy being sexual towards the girl to child protection services.

He is mimicking behaviour he has been taught or witnessed.

I don't see a problem, overall, at these young ages, as long as the parents have a goal of changing the situation, perhaps by a specified age. My heart aches for those here who were molested as children, but as long as the parents have no reason to fear that, then I don't see any harm.

I know these kids aren't related to you Missfoodlove. But even if your own DD were to have this arrangement w/ young children, that would be up to her and the dad's judgment, not yours. You might wish to voice your opinion, but I hope you would do so once and then leave it up to DD.

Seefah the question then is, what has that eight year old old seen or experienced that makes them think that's an acceptable thing to do?
They're potentially a victim too.

Kids sharing a bed might not be a problem if parents remain aware of the unimaginable and know what to look for if anything is untoward. I know so many people who were abused by other children as well as adults and it all went on under parents noses so I would always be vigilant. A few weeks ago a friend let her 7 yr old go on a play date with an 8 yr old who proceeded to try to get the 7 yr olds underwear off to take porn pics !!! It can be a very sad world for some.

Sorry to hear that, it doesn't sound great.

Greymar, no friends, no school, adult company only. ?

Anyone who thinks that there is anything wrong with a 7 yr old and a 4 yr old sharing bed has something quite strange in their own minds

I completely disagree.

Missfoodlove, I am not trying to be awkward but I don't know wht you mean. Do they have friends? Are they somewhat cut off from other people?

According to the Council, siblings of the opposite sex can share a bedroom until they are 20years old now ! Beggars belief.

Which council?

Greymar, I mean not well socialised. They do not go to school.

Ifostered children. One little boy was very much a bed wetter - it was absolutely normal for him between the ages of 6 -approx 10 or 11 years old to get into bed with one of my own older daughters if his own bed was damp. They were in their mid to late teens then - nothing wrong with any of it.
Anyone who thinks that there is anything wrong with a 7 yr old and a 4 yr old sharing bed has something quite strange in their own minds

OP, what do you mean " not well socialized". I'm presuming they go to school?

I would feel a little uncomfortable for a boy of 7 and a girl of 4 to be sharing a bed, longterm. Especially if they don't have to.

Baloothefitz, you're joking surely. Which council? Have you got a link? I'm not accusing you of not telling the truth. It's just that I would like to read it for myself. Can't be wide spread across the country, can it?

According to the Council, siblings of the opposite sex can share a bedroom until they are 20years old now ! Beggars belief.

@Saetana - Some nasty dirty minds on here

Some people are naive to the extent of the amount of childhood sexual abuse cases - the system is overloaded with them.
That does not include the ones who remain silent.
Don't despise the people fighting for childrens innocence to remain intact...save your comments for the perpertrators of sexual abuse.

Those of us who try to help repair these lives, and prevent the cycle of abuse are not the problem, I assure you.

Sadly, working with survivors of incest and sexual abuse, so many clients tell similar stories of being put into bed around the age of three with siblings seven years or more older than them and sworn to secrecy for years about the special bond and threats of what would happen to them if they told anyone. these children were abused for many years and it often started through opportunity, curiosity and the innocence of the victim. Opportunity is the main thing that parents can guard against.

Thank you all for contributing to this thread, lots of food for thought.

Some sad posts which have really moved me.
Thank you for sharing such intimate and painful experiences.

I don’t still don’t know how I feel.
The children in question are both delightful, well loved and cared for however not well socialised so one of my concerns is their reliance on each other.

I am not being critical of the parenting, I genuinely am not sure if it’s a good or a bad arrangement.

Throw into the mix children who are not given much affection and/or attention, and an already abused child will "act out".
The abuse is passed on. Sadly.

The internet porn is yet another layer.

Usually victims will not divulge until they hit their 30's, and life is a very real struggle (for some *unknown reason).
*Dysfunction
We need to wake up.