New user? Old user? Lurker? We'd love your views.

Joined gransnet 7/8 years ago whilst enduring a low time in life, within a few posts I received pms from a particular member advised me that my input wasn't needed, I was gobsmacked and have remained pretty much a lurker except for "safe" threads like games etc, although I have to say not all members are like that thankfully.

I have been on GN for a few years now. There are a good many wise, caring and generous people on here and I look out for their posts and answers.
However it is very rare for a post of mine to be acknowledged. I often feel like the wallflower at the party when the thread continues with conversation between a group of posters.I have several times decided to retire from GN, for this reason. I can’t think of a reason why I haven’t.

I have noticed that the posters that usually are quite nasty with their remarks are not actually on this thread at all.

I’ve been here a few years now. I’m like a lot of people, I avoid the games and politics because I don’t really ‘get’ the pull of the games and I have my own political views so no need to get embroiled in the often heated debate as it’s unlikely to change my view.

I think GN has changed immensely in the past year with a lot of posts from a younger age group. We get a lot of posts which directly put - in particular - MiL vs DiL against each other . This usually results in 2 very diverse and not a hope in hell of meeting in the middle viewpoints. Similarly estranged grandparents / parents vs children.

I disagree with the clique comments totally . I see it as groups of people who interact regularly and over a period of time so they ‘know’ each other and perhaps more importantly what’s going on in one another’s lives. I truly think that influences how you react to a post as opposed to going in blindly .

I think of GN like a favourite magazine , dipping in and out of what interests me .

Grandad can I just say not all of us are anti granddad indeed I thought you d be in great demand because there aren’t many of you I m sorry you ve not felt you ve had a good welcome I do think some of this is HQ fault as there is nothing much to show it’s for ALL grandparents The very old fashioned logo at the top only shows women and I ve always thought that was quite wrong
As for correcting spelling or grammar I personally think that’s unforgivable
Keep posting grandad be assured you ARE welcome

I read most days, avoiding the politics and games threads, but rarely post. Mainly, I think, because I tend to feel invisible. Having said that, I have had some helpful suggestions when I have started threads looking for advice. I remain more of a lurker though.

It was highly out of character for me to join GN in Nov 2011, but a post about long-distance grandparenting caught my eye and it struck a chord as my only granddaughter lives in the US whilst I live in Malta.

It seemed friendlier back then and I met several gransnetters in person and have been fortunate to be able to go cruising with another member who has become a very good friend.

I go in phases, it’s impossible to read all the threads and comments unless you stay on the iPad all day, and I’ve always avoided politics, all the games and anything controversial for the simple reason that people can get rather worked up about things and I do not like confrontation either in real life or on here.

I have found a lot of support when going through the losses of my husband, sister, mum, two sisters in law and best pal from school all in a fairly short space of time. I have also had some very good advice about various products, and I still use recipes contributed by gransnetters.

Nothing really annoys me, I just scroll on if I don’t care for a topic or for someone’s mean spirited remarks. We are all different and I think you can tell who you would or would not get along with if you were to meet face to face.

Xander
Do you use an iPad?
If yes, there is a thumbs up emoji there.

Nanabas
When you say the buttons at the bottom of the page do you mean the smile/sad/angry etc?
If yes, type what you want to say then bring up your brackets/ parenthesis. Click the opening bracket/parentheses. Type smile/angry/sad etc. Bring up bracket etc again and click the closing bracket etc. Do not use spaces when doing this. If you do, it won't work.

I always read your posts Grandad on the political threads I find them interesting. I am interested in other people's points of view on politics.

Apologies should be "thread" in last paragraph of my post above, not "tread"

As one of the few men on the forum (or at least one who openly declares as male), perhaps I can share my experiences of the last two years on the forum.

I genuinely came into the forum by mistake believing it was for both genders as grandparents. However, my first few posts were met with what only can be described as a "tirade" of abuse for even entering this forum as a male, and mocking at my spelling as I have suffered from a mild form of dyslexia throughout my entire life.

The above just made me determined to remain as an active member of the forum, and in that, I discovered a mobile app which corrects most mistakes in my spelling on the entry of text to my phone or tablet whether I am using voice recognition or keyboard input.

The above problem solved there is still, up to this day, the problem that a considerable number on this forum, but not all by any means, do not wish to see a male presence and that they demonstrate time and time again in an abundance of ways.

Therefore, my suggestion would be that the forum needs to be more encompassing of both genders. We often witness posts from members who state they are on their own and lonely and perhaps encouraging more of a male presence on the forum could help relieve that loneliness by way of making conversations more diverse in content and tone.

I am not suggesting in the above that the forum should in any way become a dating site, but just one which would more easily enable all to have conversations and debates with the opposite gender. That could, I believe, enhance the forum greatly.

I will now vacate this tread and don tin hat. ?

Sorry Hillwalker I was brought up in the middle of nowhere and hated it. I much prefer the bright lights of London! Each to our own.

I have been reading and occasionally commenting on GN for just over a year. I thought when I joined that I would find like minded women, not necessarily G.mothers who I would have something in common with. How wrong can you be! I am not remotely interested in clothes, winter boots, food or cooking, holidays, cruises or politics. I thought there would be lots of countryside matters, folklore, music discussions, horticulture, books and lots of positivity. I think many posters live in towns and suburbs so shopping and cafe culture are a way of life whereas in a rural setting mud, stock proof fencing and what is happening in the village is far more important. Also women moaning about their husbands, how is posting on a forum going to help that, if there is something wrong with your life, put it right, make changes, if you do what you have always done, you will get what your always got. I will probably regret making this post but would love to find a forum for women who love the outdoors, look forward and not back and who enjoy life. Come along Gransnet I think your idea of older women is way off mark or maybe I am just a tad alternative.

I am a reader more than a poster, but do post sometimes if I feel that I have something to offer or contribute to the said thread. I am so glad to read that others have felt that by contributing on a certain thread they have shut it down, I thought it only happened to me. In that respect I think that sometimes it does feel a little cliquey on Gransnet.
One small thing that does irk me is when people post on the wrong thread e.g. Something about moving house put on Ask a Gran when I feel it should be put on House and Home.
But that is just pedantic old me !

I found Gransnet by accident last month. It is fascinating following(I have spent hours searching through comments on subjects that have interested me) seeing what other people worry about and how supportive most people are. I would quite like to be able to indicate agreement to a comment left that I echo(thumbs up) rather than to make an actual written comment. I do not think there is this facility but I am still learning the ropes!! I may have missed it. So looking forward to following more threads. As someone has already indicated I do find use of acronyms difficult to follow and did spend time trying to work them out until I found the list!!!

A lot of the comments I'd make have already been added...
One of my first posts was given a critical review due to the grammar by several people, that did put me off. Arrogance and rudeness aren't attractive in life or online.
While the majority of people do appear to be warm, helpful and wanting to discuss in a respectful manner, there is a number of people who are comfortable in their aggressive and rude behaviour.

I have been with GN for around 8 years and have had my head bitten off when replying to some of the innocuous threads so on the whole, I stay with soop's kitchen. Some have said it is cliquey but some of us have "known" each other for many years. I also go to two lots of meetups, enjoying both although each is very different.

I have had my style of writing and spelling ridiculed publicly and another GN told me I should not be driving! I have risen above, but never forgotten both so I do understand why people post once and then vanish. I am not a shrinking violet but hope I would not come across as being rude because it takes courage at times to post.

I've been on here for several years, can't remember how many.
I mainly love it and join in the game threads regularly. But I'm wary of the serious political threads as there is such nastiness and I don't want to get involved. Also it bothers me when some posters pull people, celebrities etc, to pieces.
But mostly I love GN, it cheers me up.
I hope all new posters feel welcome and ready to join in at least some of the threads.

I have been a member for quite a long while, originally reading, and then started to post. I did take a break at one point after a not particularly nice experience on one thread, when I was just trying to be helpful and offering my support to someone I felt quite sorry for, and received two PM's from someone telling me how I should behave who I had never seen posting, and who I haven't seen since. I was very upset at the time. Then when I tried to come back, I couldn't log in and had to change my user name to do so .

I do enjoy it on here, I know some of the threads, particularly the political ones, can get a bit heated but I do think in those cases it is mostly that people feel passionately about the subject being discussed. I also like the Games because I can't hold a pen to do puzzles at home it is easier for me to type.

The thread about the Royals upset me but thats just me, I know we all have different view points, I think it is because I am a mum and nana I kept thinking how I would feel if it was my children being discussed. I did speak to HQ about it but strangely enough they seemed to think my post was wrong and not others which I found rather odd! I think since, other people have thought the same.

We are all different with different view points and I understand that. There are some really kind, caring people on here and the support given by them is absolutely wonderful (sometimes it reduces me to tears) to read the posts.

I have been here for a very few years now. At first it seemed much more 'gentle', or maybe that's just me.

This last year it has appeared to have attracted more aggressive posters, but again, that maybe just me.

Like Gagagran, I agree that there have been a lot more agony aunt type posts, and I ignore those, as I can't give any helpful advice.

BUT, when one or two of 'our' regulars have a real problem, we rally round and it is so moving how we can jointly try to help in some way. All be it , only at a distance, but we do, and I am sure it does help.

I do not join in on the political threads, too fierce for me.
Word Games, I also ignore.

I miss lots of the names I used to see and wonder where they have gone, or if they have all re-invented themselves under another name?

The Good Morning Thread, is a favourite and I usually pop in.

I have made friends with a few GN's from Meet Up's locally, but am a bit of a scaredy cat to venture further afield.

To help

I've been a Lurker for a while and all that stops me joining in discussions is technical incompetence. I'm not quite sure how the site works and how and when to use all these buttons at the bottom of the page. Sometimes I've tried to post but it hasn't appeared and I've seen replies to something that has obviously appeared earlier but not been able to trace the original. I did manage to post on the bereavement thread when I was really down and some lovely people answered but I'm not sure if they saw my reply. Anyway I'm hoping to go to a meet up next week and maybe some kind grannies there would be willing

I personally don’t enjoy all the word games, though I occasionally participate.
I mostly avoid the politics and religion threads, because I don’t like the nastiness. I have been posting for about a year and have experienced the unpleasantness personally about 3 times (that’s a low ratio to my overall number of posts).

I like the informative and supportive posts very much. I check in most days and probably post on threads about 4/5 times a week.

For new posters, I have found it doesn’t take long to get to know people ... and I have had some lovely, funny exchanges.

I joined soon after GN started and took a break when the tone and tenor of the postings on the political threads became so aggressive. This was really noticeable about Brexit and there seemed to be little respect for differing views. I avoid such people in real life and certainly did so on GN. I felt that a lot of voices were silenced because of it and the results of the December election seem to underline that in the country too.

I also think that GN has become a bit of an agony aunt's column with a lot of family problems being aired and I do not want to be reading sob-story after sob-story.

So I have had a break from GN and although I have kept reading the posts that interest me, only recently have I started to post an odd comment. There are some posters who I feel engaged with and a warmth towards but many others have no appeal for me - sorry but that's how I feel. I am not sure when or if I shall post but I shall continue to dip in every day.