hugging

That is very interesting grannyactivist so perhaps it is worthwhile reviving?
There must be so many people who may live alone and never even touch another person.
I think touch can be very therapeutic, if we can get over the embarrassment, if it doesn't come naturally, as it doesn't for me.

Personally, our family aren’t huggers either and I find it awkward and intrusive unless it’s a natural thing between husband or children. I don’t see why people who don’t like it should be forced into it. I let it be known I don’t go for enforced hugging and now everyone at work or in wider meetings make a joke of it, or hug without touching saying, for eg, ‘I know you don’t like it, but here’s a distance hug. There can be many reasons for not liking these enforced hugs and no reason why you should feel obliged in my view.

I didn't come from a family of huggers either as mum ran off off with the Bagwash Man (weekly laundry delivery/collection) when I was 6 and dad brought me and my brother up back in the early 1960's. Unusual then. However, I married a very tactile man and since then, I can't stop hugging! I was once told by one of my daughter's friends that I could sell my hugs as they are so nice

Greeneyedgirl I wrote this on a previous GN thread about the subject:
One of the most moving experiences I ever had was sharing a hug. I'd gone down to the seafront with a church group wearing a T-shirt with the logo 'Free Hugs' on it and offering hugs to passersby. One very elderly gentleman told me the exact date he'd last received a hug from anyone, it was many years ago and was from his wife on the day she died. Another very elderly woman told me she didn't think she had ever been hugged, not even as a child and wasn't sure she would like it. She did though!

There was a bit of a hugging "movement" a few years ago when folk would wonder around the streets with placards saying "Free Hugs", and would be hugging complete strangers. Does anyone else remember it? I first came across it in Holland.

I came from a non hugging family and I have learned to give and receive hugs. Try it.

Just explain to her what you have said here and tell her that doesn’t mean you don’t care about her. I am sure she will understand - my late MIL was not a tactile woman but I know she thought the world of me!

My DH family are not huggers. I once said to him, quietly, as we were leaving his DM house....'Give her a hug'. He did
She rang me later in tears saying that it was the first hug she had had since her DH had died.
She thanked me somehow knowing that because I was a hugger he had followed suit.
My DM isn't a huggy person...Thank goodness my DF was.

I am not a hugger of anyone other than family.

My shake is firm, warm and meaningful with full eye contact
Kim Same here! Even a 2-handed hand clasp if things start to get serious. Hugging is a no-no especially if I can't get both arms round her.
I've come to recognise body-language when somebody is about to launch a hug and (worse,) a kiss, especially the full-on wet one on the lips!. Then I turn into a Niles Crane and quietly remove the debris as soon as poss.
OoRoo

Do whatever feels natural for you. If you feel comfortable with hugging, go ahead.
When I met my son's partner for the first time, I hugged first him and then her. It just seemed the right thing to do.

In my family we have been huggers,and nowadays everyone seems to do it instead of a handshake.We were invited to friend last week they are NOT huggers they had another couple there who we know, they are new neighbours,I was dumstruck and embarrased when my Husband gave this new neigbour a huge hug, then after that he said lets have one more, she didnt object but I would have said"I think thats enough"

I would try to develop a habit of hugging her, son and children if/when there are any, but no need to extend it outside of family. I can’t bear to be hugged by people other than family, the same with cheek kissing, it has no meaning so why do it and risk catching the ‘flu?

I'm a hugger, but my husband isn't, he backs away from hugs.( nor from me) thankfully)

Why do you need to apologise? You have said it quite clearly you are not from a family of huggers.
Maybe she is ok with the fact that you are you and you are different from her own family. Different doesn't mean horrible or rude. We are all different.

We are not talking about 'all and sundry' though, Margs - but a DIL away from her hugging family and friends - a long way from home.

my Dh came from a family that was in no way affectionate i thought it was bizarre, we always hug and a peck on the cheek when leaving , when i had my son i had to make him give him a kiss on the cheek he would of shook his hand otherwise cant do that to a newborn, 20 years later hes a lot better at accepting hugs and kisses but rarely the instigator . i find it quite sad he never had that much affection at home

Hugging all & sundry is far too familiar. As the saying goes "Familiarity breeds contempt."

Says it all.

My parents weren't huggers, but my godmother was a really cuddlesome little person. I love warm hugs and fortunately DS's best friend is a hugger, as is a lovely local lad who always stops to hug me. I think it's lovely!

Be yourself - it’s how you are that she will love you for. After she has gone a lovely text saying how lovely it was seeing her etc - that’s every bit as good as a hug

Good to read some of these comments, always felt I was odd not having been brought up in a hugging family. So there are others around. Some sort of generational thing, but it's quite hard and makes me very self-conscious to do it now at my age. I sort of think the people who hug everyone, like a hello - it's just habit, whereas I would like it to be a bit more special and meaningful.

I grew up without hugs. My family were loving but not tactile. I find it really awkward when someone leans in for a hug. I hugged my children a lot as I didn't want them to grow up like me.

My MIL wasn't a hugger, she only hugged me twice, first was when we got engaged (didn't think he would ever get married!) and when we told her I was expecting our second child. She hugged the GC so it wasn't a problem. I became more of a hugger when I joined Amdram, theatrical people hug a lot. DIL isn't much of a hugger, everyone's different.

I feel very uncomfortable with hugging,
It doesn’t come naturally to me, and seems very artificial most of the time. Of course, if someone was upset I would comfort them with a hug, but not just greetings.

I always cringe when I see t.v. Personalities hugging each other. Whatever happened to the handshake.
Much more my style.

Explain why it is not automatic for you, but that you enjoy it now.