Asking Questions about my Finances

IMO many people are interested in what a nearby house sold for. Dh and I often have a good old nose on e.g. nethouseprices - it's just a bit of a pain that you have to wait about 3 months to find out!

I'd never ask, though, since for so many years it just wasn't 'done' - and still isn't, in many people's eyes, including mine. If that makes me a hypocrite, so be it.

Many years ago, a near neighbour who'd moved in about a year after us, asked me straight out what we'd paid. I was too taken aback to do anything but tell him!

I don't think he's ever forgiven us for the fact that in the year following our purchase, prices had shot up and he'd paid rather more for a slightly smaller house.

IMO it's a very good thing that actual sold prices are now made public, esp. when so many initial asking prices are 'optimistic', at least around here - there can be quite a difference. One house not a million miles from us has recently had the price reduced (in stages) by nearly a quarter.

As for renovations, etc., I do think they're a little bit different. I know a dd has been asked what they paid for their fairly recent extension, and she doesn't mind telling, since anyone contemplating similar would,like a rough idea before going any further.

I think it's bad form to ask the cost of anything from a neighbour.

If folk are wanting to explore whether they could afford similar type of building work they simply have to arrange for quotes.

It's rude and intrusive, I'm with you about it being bad manners.

I have a friend who always asked how much things have cost from my DD and DS's weddings to clothes etc. I used to find that I just told her without thinking but now I am more cautious as I feel she is judging me. I think it is rude. I would not ask how much home improvements cost either but would ask who had done them and whether they were of a high standard. Then I would get the company in to give me a quotation.

We must be in the minority then, as we wouldn’t directly go up to a neighbour and ask how much their building work etc cost, if I wanted to know how much a house that sold went for I’d google it, we get several quotes if we want something done to our property and take it from there, I think it’s very rude to ask

Westerlywind I too have noticed the increasing trend of 'how much'. I have a relative who thinks its ok to ask about earnings even! If its not volunteered then I don't ask. Its difficult to have a clever reply ready when it takes you by surprise.

I think sometimes people ask because they are thinking about having similar work done and want some idea of reasonable cost. Also on house prices people ask because they want to know how much they would get for their house. House pieces are publicly available anyway from the land registry so that wouldn't worry me particularly. Things I have found intrusive are more personal things I have been asked at work team building days such as tell us something about yourself that would surprise people or what music has special memories for you, tell us when you were your most happiest. I hate those type of questions because if I wanted people to know I would tell them!

Agree with flexible friend.

My mother had the perfect answer when anyone asked something that she didn’t want to answer “ if it was any of your business i would tell you” followed by a look that could kill. They very quickly stopped asking. I on the other hand don’t have a problem with it. Find if you aren’t upfront about things people will make up their own version of things

I would never ask anyone how much they've paid for anything and I wouldn't tell anyone how much I've paid for anything.
I think its just plain rude.

One of my Aunties is the nosiest person I've ever met, she has no qualms at all at asking really personal questions. Its more of an interrogation really. She used to get really worked up because I refused to tell her how much my husband and I earned. The irony is she wouldn't dream of telling anyone how much she or her husband earned.

If I do ask someone how much something cost, it is usually because I am thinking of having the work done myself. I always preface my request for information with a, "Please feel free to tell me to mind my own business but how much...?" I'd like to think people would feel able to say, "I'd rather not say."

I am glad that there are other people who also think this is very bad manners. I think there are a few people who seem to have no idea how to act and speak socially. This is obvious as they never speak to me other than when they want to question something.
One neighbour asked what my late parent died of. I said "old age" she then said that wont be what is on the Death Certificate. I was so shocked I actually gave the cause of death.
When I have given non committal answers they have probed further. I said the house price was the surveyor's value I was asked what the value was.
I am put off by all these questions. It makes being a recluse more interesting. No wonder people become lonely if this is the way the neighbours act.

I never ask people how much things cost. Not even my family. If they want to tell me they do.
It really gets my goat up being quizzed about money. If it's just about the price of a pair of jeans that's alright.
If a nosy neighbour wanted to know how much I paid for a job I would ask if they were thinking of getting the same job done, I'd say I'll get the company come round to yours and give you a quote if you would like me to.
Or as other's have already said, Tell them, too much.

We bought a house about 4 years ago. It's price has never come up on Zoopla. I wonder why that would be. Any ideas? We bought it conventionally through an estate agent and a solicitor did the conveyancing.

Chardy
I would recommend if satisfied but not as you suggest
give a price.Not all work although to the customer appears identical does not always happen so can increase or even lower costs.

westerlywind - I agree that such questions are intrusive. Unfortunately, my husband is often the person asking such questions of others and he thinks it's perfectly OK although I am always embarrassed and try to curtail his enquiries. Personally, if anyone asks me such questions I never give the facts because nobody is ever wanting to have the exact same thing as anybody else done, and I therefore, respond by saying that I'm not entirely sure and could only give a vague ball park figure. That usually does the trick - people get the message not to be so nosey because frankly that's all it is - pure noseyness - everybody has the internet these days and in the space of 15 minutes and the pressing of a few buttons, people can do their own research.

My nosy neighbour said, Oh, you’ve got the same cardigan as me! £35 from M & S?”
She wasn’t too happy when I told her it was a fiver from the local charity shop, with a free necklace thrown in! I wasn’t fibbing, either!

I dont think they are "personal" questions and would answer/ chat back

It wouldn't worry me at all. The 'sold prices' of houses are available on the net anyway. I would object if somebody asked me what I earned, though.

Funnily, a neighbour asked me how much I'd be selling my house for, then said 'Oh, no, you won't get that much' as if he were an expert. I only mentioned the cost of similar places so it was very strange. Perhaps he's had a valuation but he lives in a much smaller place so I have an extra garage, bedroom and bathroom, also a larger garden.

I find it’s quite easy to lose my memory when asked impertinent question . I was also interrogated a few weeks ago. I replied I’m not sure to each question. But I think my cousin has the best answer when asked about things she wishes to keep private she says . Now if I told you that ,you would know as much as me . Get foxy don’t ell em

I once had a friend who used to quote 'Personal questions are odious' ! ...loved it and often use it ha ha

If you are helping people to make sense of their own situation I would do it gladly . It seems mean not to help unless the neighbours are just prying out of curiosity .. that would annoy me

I would keep the conversation polite & just say
Money & fair words .

I think it is weird that they never talk to me unless it is to try to get information out of me.
I find WEIRD to be the scariest of the scariest

Maybe you don’t like people in general very much westerlywind?

That’s what I’m picking up on anyway each time you post. You seem prickly.

DD2 stayed with a friend for a few days and the friend’s Dad told her the price of everything. The cutlery, the crockery, table, chairs. Literally everything! He had a poverty stricken childhood and seemed to find comfort in letting others know how far he had come in life.

It doesn’t bother me if people ask how much things cost but I would probably be wary if they asked about personal finances, mainly because my OH would be annoyed if I answered them.