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Contact adopted step brother?

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MissAdventure Thu 29-Nov-18 21:25:52

I think as long as you are honest enough with yourself to accept that you may get no response at all, then you should contact him.
If you could cope with silence, should that be the case.

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TLlulah12345 Thu 29-Nov-18 21:19:02

Thank you janeainsworth! Yes, agency would find him and send a letter. Just worried how he would receive the info that his mother does not want contact - don’t want to upset him. Although both myself and my brother and our families would like be in contact we have no further info on his background to give him. Like you say, best to send this in a letter and let him make up his own mind.

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janeainsworth Thu 29-Nov-18 21:10:33

Oh what a difficult one and I really feel for you.
I too would want to reach out to a half-brother, but you have to face and accept the fact that he may not want to meet.
Would the agency act as a go-between?
If you contact him through them by letter in the first instance, that would give you an idea of how he feels. You would have to let him know the position with your mother.
Good luck.

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TLlulah12345 Thu 29-Nov-18 21:01:00

My mother had a son before marrying my father - he knew about the child who was adopted at a few months old. Neither I nor my brother were aware of this brother until recently. I asked my 86 year old mother about it and she flew into a rage totally denying it, however before I asked her I traced the birth certificate to confirm the news we had come across while searching for something else for her in old correspondence. My father died many years ago.
I have tried to put this brother - who would be 64 now - out of my mind but I wonder about contacting him as a sibling (which I can do legally through an agency) My mother no longer speaks to me (she was always a difficult woman and not a kind mother). Would an adopted person want to meet a sibling and understand that it wouldn’t be possible to meet his mother? Or is it best left alone?

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