Frequency of visits

Mon, think how limiting it is for your daughter if she is tied to meeting with you every day. Young mums want to see other young mums too, it's part of their social life and interaction for the babies. She wants to make a fresh start and still see you, just not as much. Her suggestion is very reasonable. Give her space and you may well find you see each other more often but you will know it's because she wants to see you, not because she feels she has to.

It will be an adjustment, it always is when someone has been in your house and then is suddenly gone. I find it every time youngest comes home from uni and then disappears again. But you will find a rhythm. And then hopefully time for yourself to have fun. Then when you step into a new pattern with them, you will be fun gran with a life of her own and much love and time to share with them.

You could suggest a regular weekly visit so that your daughter can go out have her hair cut etc. I look after two grandchildren with my husband and if one is asleep I tackle her mountain of ironing or unload the dishwasher. I never go just to sit but play with the children to give my daughter a break.

You sound like a great mum and grandmother. My daughter and granddaughter still live with me and my granddaughter is five, so I know it will be really hard when my daughter eventually is able to get her own place, but that will be my problem not theirs.

We see ours about six times a year. They live six hours a way and are both at school. We usually see them for about a week at a time during the holidays. I’d love to see them more but it just isn’t possible. ☹️

Once every two or three months for a couple of hours

I see my GC once a week in term time but in the holidays I see them maybe 4 or 5 times a week . I think twice a week seems fine it all depends on you and your daughters daily lives however I do sometimes feel envious of other grandma as she doesn't work so has a lot more time available to visit .

You are very lucky, my GC live a distance away. Two are 90 minutes away and three are 3 hours away, so it’s every 2-3 months. They do however come to stay ( without parents) at least once a year so that is extended quality time.

My only grandson comes twice a week for dinner and his mum collects him on her way home.If he has after school activities he lets me know,I would never pressurise him to come if he has something on.My daughter calls at least twice a week and my daughter who lives in London comes at every eight weeks for the weekend.We feel truly blessed.

I see my son's children every day because he is a single dad and I take them to and from school. My DD's, I've been seeing once a week because they live an hour away - but now they are moving 600 miles away next month because of work. So I'll see them in the holidays I guess. I'm upset about that, but you can't keep your children with you forever.

I know what you mean Mon1210. As Grandparents of three GC, we are exceptionally lucky to live next door to two and about an hour from the third. We see next door almost daily and about 8/10 days for the third. I must admit, I cannot imagine how I would feel if next door moved away (sad) . My advice would be, don’t arrange to meet up on a specific day each week to ensure you don’t get disappointed if it doesn’t happen! Enjoy every minute.

When we all have time I think. Every 2 to 3 weeks but no set time. It will be up to your daughter to decide. Try not to invade her space without an invite....

Oh Cuckoo, my heart goes out to you. Why oh why do sons allow their wives to cut out the paternal grandparents? It happens so often. Heartbreaking. Can’t you try and find out what the problem is? X

Mon1210...I see my grandkids twice sometimes three days a week.Sounds to me like a perfect arrangement.

I have always had a lot of contact with my GCs from birth, usually every day! It got to ythe point where I had no life of my own and never did anything without checking with my daughter first. To be fair, each pregnancy was difficult and there were other factors involved, too many to go into here.
However when they moved 15 miles away for my SiLs job, I resisted my daughters request to move with her.
I still visit every week or every other week and sometimes more often and strangely enough, my daughter and I are closer now than ever before.
Maybe, next time you visit your daughter, offer to look after your GC for a couple of ours, in her own home, to allow your daughter time to herself, in addition to your visits to them both.
When she's at pre-school, maybe you could share pick ups and maybe have your GC for the afternoon, as well as seeing your daughter on a separate day.
Once a week is a good starting point and I'm sure you'll both find a balance of visits that suit you both. Especially when your daughter realises that you would love to babysit.

I had my daughter and grand daugh yet live with me from her birth until she was over 2. It was daunting when they were suddenly gone into theit new home.
So I filled time by volunteering in my local charity shop and seeing more of my friends , work etc. I see her probably twice a week, and actually it's worked well. I facetime her when I want to see her little face. I don't want to beon top of them. They have their live to build xx

I am asked to look after my dgs far too often.
I usually end up cancelling my own plans to help out and sometimes feel resentful because of this.

I don’t like to refuse, as feel guilty if I do.
Already this week it has been twice.

I would keep,yourself busy in the meantime.
Once your Dd gets into a routine, I’m sure you will get to see them on a regular basis.

Surely seeing them once a week is enough.

Haven’t seen or even spoken to mine in two years (aged 10 and8). I have no contact, nobody will answer a phone, letter or email. I can’t even find out why. I have a very controlling DiL. We’ve never argued and I wouldn’t dare try.
Take anything you can get with your grandchildren. Love them as much as you can, when you can.

Too often, when they were young and the parents needed childminders. Now very rarely, as they are old enough to take care of themselves and would prefer to play on their devices than spend time with me. Seems that’s life. ?

MissAdventure How lovely that your 16 year old grandson wants to peddle round and see you. What a testament to the relationship that you have built up with him over time! My daughter was the same with my mum, over on the bus every Wednesday, a couple of hours of natter, homemade cake and then home! I was so pleased that they had that lovely relationship.

I see my daughter and her children once a week and more often if there is something we’re all involved in or if we look after the children. My other two grandchildren live abroad and we are lucky if we see them twice a year. Just enjoy whatever time you have!

Not a lot. They're all in late teens/20s and working or at uni. None live closer than a 3 hour drive away so logistically, it's a nightmare to coordinate their work and social lives with nanny coming over to see them. A quick coffee or lunch is not doable.
We catch up on WhatsApp and family meets twice a year for 2-3 days, usually at a hotel. Their parents keep in touch more than they do.
My 3 GGC are too young to miss not seeing me regularly but I visit them as often as possible, send the usual gifts and see photos on WhatsApp.
Not ideal but then, it's a changed world from the one my AC were born into. We have to go with the flow, adapt, compromise.

All mine live either in the States or Hong Kong. I cannot imagine how wonderful it would be to see them regularly
You are indeed lucky

Currently my daughter who lives in another city visits with her toddler son overnight once a fortnight. He will soon be starting preschool and I would expect those visits to reduce to school holiday times only, and be further reduced by him also having to spend time with his father. This seems reasonably to me. However, if my daughter lived just down the road, I'd be more likely to expect them to pop in for an hour or so at least weekly, going on through at least primary school, and/or do some babysitting. After primary school I'd increasingly expect that I would see my daughter without the grandson, on many occasions as he found his own social life.

Just to point out how lucky you are : living in France as we do, we see our granddaughters twice per annum if we are lucky - last year they did not come to visit at all and we were not invited to the UK. However, we are going for Christmas and they will come for the August Bank Holiday next year.