Ask me anything

Try posting this on 'ask a gran'. Despite its title, this thread is not intended real questions

I am a serious professional liar. I leave the fantasies to the PR specialists.
Must rush. Am having a working breakfast with David Attenborough. He's wanting me to help him make up more animals for him to pretend he's seen.

I pressed send accidentally - I was going to say thanks to Jane for getting my day off to a good start by making me laugh. Not usually easy to do at this time of day

Jane!

Ask me how to keep calm and carry on....

Jane did you take a university course or are you just a naturally talented liar?

It's a carefully honed skill. I am a member of a number of professional organisations including my fellowship of the Institute of Fatuous Research.

Is it a secret organisation Jane10 or can anybody join? Also, am I right in thinking that there are a number of other GNetters who are members of the Institute of Fatuous Research?

It's not secret but individuals have to carry out doctoral level research into a completely pointless topic. They have to be able to defend their thesis to a panel of professionals selected from the worlds of sport or gardening as appropriate. Not everyone passes.
I'm sure there are other members on GN but we only know other FIFR associates by a special handshake and that's hard to do online.

I'm just wondering, is The Donald a member of FIFR?
He seems to talk through a hole in his hat!

My suspicion is that he must employ many professional liars to come up with the huge range of whoppers that he comes out with.
Before you ask, his hair is completely natural

Chewbacca I hope your not casting Nasturtiums

Leave the Nasturtiums to the panel of gardeners.

Nasturtiums are the flower of choice for hidden microphones. If you're ever near a bed of nasturtiums try saying loudly 'Hello Ivan. How are you today?'

Jane10 thank you for the laughs.

We have a few nasturtiums in the garden this year that seem to have seeded themselves. Highly suspect. I am off to have a quiet word with them!

I gather they are edible so do be careful not to accidentally chomp on a hidden bug (get it bug?)

If its of any interest, my thesis for fellowship of IFR was on the 'Role of Taxidermy in the British Monarchy 1837-1901.'
My findings were that Queen Victoria was not in fact stuffed despite pervasive rumours at the time.
My research interests have had to be shelved temporarily due to increased work pressures. So much fake news to instigate.

Ok Lara...I will kick it off in Chat...not sure I will get much response but here we go....

Oh. Sorry to have usurped the point of this thread. (Irony alert!)

I don't believe you're sorry at all, Jane

Jane10, have you been telling the truth on this thread, as lying is your profession and GN is, surely, recreational?

Have you thought of being a politician? I assume you are not one already, as the standard of lying among politicians is atrocious.

I have been well paid to lie on this thread. The Ministry of Misinformation has vetoed any potential political career for me due to my incredible expertise. It wouldn't be fair on the other politicians.

This is SO much better than the AMA threads on Mumsnet. Those youngsters have a lot to learn. BTW I'm only 29 myself.

So am I!