Is this acceptable in the 21st century

DH and I have completely different tastes so we have a television in the dining room and another in the lounge!!!!
Stops any arguments . I occasionally feel DH is a little controlling - and say so - but I've always done my own thing if I thought it right and after 50 years I'm not going to change now and, bless him, he's got used to it.

I have a friend who I have known for over 20 years. She has always said her DH 'won't let her' do this and that. I first knew her when she was in her early 40s and she was like it then and still is. I know her husband and he seems a reasonable enough chap. She is very attractive still in her late 60s. Maybe he is afraid she will have her head turned. I am astonished that in this day and age women say their partner 'won't let them'. Another friend never goes anywhere or does anything without her husband. No coffee/lunch with friends or the odd evening out without him. She said his first wife left him and she doesn't want him worrying that she will do the same. I suppose that's very caring.

Nannyme Why not use headphones? - out of consideration to your partner, naturally .

GrandmaMoira - my ex was just the same. He used to come in an switch off the Archers! Have been happily alone now for 20 years.....

lilihu Agree.

Sadly there are still, or is it really again? a lot of women of all ages who are willing to put up with a controlling husband, or so afraid of him that they dare not resist.

And yes, hen-pecked husbands exist too, lots of women seemingly never consider there husbands' wishes, but decide what goes on in the home, not only what to watch on TV.

Jalima if we were sworn enemies and you managed to capture me, the worst torture you could inflict would be to tie my hands behind my back and make me watch Grand Designs! I can't stand to even see Kevin McCloud. Even if you couldn't stop me closing my eyes, I'd still be able to hear him. ? Talk about first world problems! Those poor souls keep running out of money! The other thing I really can't bear to watch (such horrible, graphic violence) is Game of Thrones. If my son is watching it, I always manage to look up just at the point when blood is being spilt in a totally gratuitous way.

What I'm looking forward to is the return of the Great British Sewing Bee!

Growing up in the 60s, my parents had no truck with BBC. ITV was all we watched. Back then it was talent shows, police procedurals, soaps etc. I wanted to watch Top of the Pops, The Man from Uncle and The Forsyte Saga so I could fit in to the discussions at school the next day. I felt very much hard done by.

How folk live like that I cannot comprehend.
He allows. he turns off the tv, or talks through what I am watching. What century is it?

Because sarahellen many of that generation still promised to ‘obey’ in the marriage ceremony. How many on this forum perhaps also made that promise?

I had a neighbour, some years ago, in this situation. I knocked once to tell her someone we both knew had died. She said " I can't let you in, glimpsing to the rear, he won't allow me". He would not decorate any of the house, that was the Council's job. After she died, he had the whole house re decorated even the ceilings skimmed. Poor women she had to put up with that.

My controlling (ex) husband was the reason I was unable to watch Charles and Diana. I tried to but the venom go too much. Wills and Kate I was unable to watch for an entirely different non bullying reason. so it was with great relish and joy that I sat in my armchair with a small bottle of Prosecco and lots of foodie goodies and thoroughly enjoyed myself.
Without interruption!

I was very surprised recently when a woman in her early sixties, whom I considered outgoing and independent, said quite placidly that her husband couldn't stand 'Strictly' but that he 'let' her watch it in the bedroom, which was cold in winter because he turned the heating off.

Oh gosh, this is so scary! I feel like I’ve stepped into the twilight zone.
The thought that in 2018, people are still living in selfish or controlling situations where they are not “allowed” to do what they want in their own homes is so awful.
Neither my husband or myself watch much TV as we have so many other things we want to do. However, if either of us fancied watching something, the thought that there would have to be even a discussion about it fills me with horror.
I’m so sorry to hear that some people find themselves in this situation. I really couldn’t live my life in any way other than as an equal partnership but I understand some situations are not cut and dried.

Old Meg. Why should a person be 'assumed' elderly if under another's control.?

I am ‘allowed’ to watch some programmes that he doesnt like, he just talks incessantly throughout the whole programme, and then tells me I’m not listening to him - never thought of it as controlling but it does annoy the hell out of me !!

b1zzle I believe you...commiserations..

A friend who passed 3 years ago had a husband who watched every football game, all day if it was on. Non negotiable. She had a video machine in a back room where she watched her small collection of vhs films.

This shocked me. I do find it odd that she told you. Maybe she presumes it is normal. ...

We have several tvs (not boasting, we run a b&b) so can often choose where and which to watch. We take it in turns quite amicably to watch the 'main' tv or to watch in another room. Counting my blessings, having read some posts. B1zz!e sorry to hear your situation.

When we got our first tv in the 50's my dad (a lovely man) seemed to think he had to control it. It was be switched on for the news, then he would turn it off. Reluctantly he let my gran watch Corrie when it began. We could watch Dads Army, The Black and White Minstrels, Billy Cotton Band Show, Old Time Music Hall. Basically it had to be clean entertainment. I remember begging to see Dr. Kildare and being refused!

I live alone so watch what I want. When I go to my daughters it's a free for all, often losing out to Paw Patrol, (6yr old) or Flash, (11 yr old) or Sky Sport, (SIL).
When GC stays it's more regulated but I'll often find something else to do or retire to my room so 16yr GS can watch Eastenders or Wrestling.
Being stubborn and a rebel by nature, I don't like or let any one dictate to me, certainly not over important issues.
That is not to say I'm insensitive to those who are trapped, I had an abusive father. My best friend of 35 years and two of her daughters are survivors of controlling, abusive partners. (Thinking about it, I know of another 5 or 6 survivors). It is very difficult to walk away, even with a support system in place.

I have a friend whose husband always worked away from home sometimes for months at a time. She, my friend loved all the soaps but wasn't allowed to watch them when he was home. Now he is retired I wasn't surprised when she told me last week she hasn't seen a soap for years. He watches sport from all over the world All day.

Thank goodness for my iPad! My husband used to have sport of any description on the tv at all times which meant i couldn’t watch my favourite soaps, quizzes etc. I started to watch my programmes on my iPad with earphones on an blocked out his programmes and comments. He didn’t like being ignored and would say, “you can have your programmes on the tv if you want “. I, of course said ”no Thankyou” as I couldn’t stand his huffing and puffing and sighing!

Thank you b1zzle for your post. It's not easy when in that situation. My late OH always had control of the remote so I used to watch TV on my tablet in another room. He still complained!

I hate TV, in general, and can count on the fingers of one hand the things I watch, but DH and DS are avids. I tend to go to bed early, but unless it's something we all want to watch, they record my programmes to watch when they aren't around. That said, I can't believe that there are still such controlling people around in this day and age.