Gone off in a huff

OldMeg Regarding what apparently was meant to be an ironic statement, into which we were all supposed to magically understand the meaning and know the life circumstances of the author:
"^Why on earth should I think someone posting on Gransnet might be a gran^?”
and your reply about it:
"Surely you can read in that post that she’d simply made an assumption until informed otherwise.

No it is not possible to "read into it" "an assumption".

I noticed that another person was upset about what appeared to be a statement about GN being for grandparents only. I was upset for that reader and for any others. I though it's time for to give some moral support.

Unfortunately, most of us are not part of the Long-Time Members Cabal which clings to MawBroom and knows the arcane details of their membership.

I suggest if MawBroom, or anyone,is given to cryptic comments, she takes a step back and examines them for ambiguity. If not she and her Watchdogs will have to accept the consequences of being taken at her word.

You end with;
"Can’t say I’m impressed with the way a certain person has stoked up bad feeling and misinformation about this."

That is childish and incorrect.

Once again, I say, if someone says something which upsets another member who replies saying so, she must expect at least one other to step up in support of the distressed person.

I notice you do not try to defend MawBroom's unkind attack on the OP about having a dog phobia.

I can understand it

Oooooh no! Gardening gloves wouldn't disguise that awful wriggling!

I'm not that keen, but that just means that I am not that keen! I couldn't pick one up without wearing gardening gloves.

When (age 14) choosing our subjects for O-grades I just couldn't take biology since the first activity on the curriculum was the dissection of a worm. I really sympathise with your friend.
So illogical! Just can't rationalise it away.

I had a friend at school who had a worm phobia. I got into trouble for protesting that she could not possibly pick one up and stroke it and she was told to pick it up but she passed out.

My name is mcem and I'm a phobic!
I like dogs, can deal with spiders and invading birds.
I've handled snakes and rodents - rats, mice, hamsters.
So why do I have a distinct physical reaction when pottering in the garden and being attacked uncovering an earthworm?
I know what prompted this in the first place. I know how useful worms are. I know they can do me no harm. I commend them to my DGCs.
BUT I react to them.
My toes and fingers curl up. I have shivers up my spine. I feel slightly nauseous.
I deal with it by downing tools, going indoors and having a cup of tea!
An hour or so later I go out to check that it has gone to ground.
It really doesn't restrict my life so I'm not seeking treatment but I do feel stupid !
When I was teaching, it was suggested that we might have wormeries in our classrooms. I told the HT that if that were forced on me I'd resign!
I do sympathise with those who have serious phobias as it's not possible to just 'get a grip''.

I do apologise however for (wrongly assuming) your MIL might be elderly. I think the reference to your “aged dad” led me to extrapolate from that that both sets of parents were of that generation.

Everybody mends punctures in their kitchens, right?
Where else?

I have been taught that if I am gardening in the tropics and spy a snake in the garden bed the right thing to do is to back away very slowly - not turn and run. Or, if out walking, the stand very still and wait for it to slither away.

My sister in law hated spiders and I didn't realise how powerful a phobia was until one day there was a titchy money spider in the windscreen and she was opening the passeger car door to get out at 30 miles an hour!
So do try to get help from a psychologist. And stress it's not because because of your mother in law.

It must have been someone else, Mawbroon but I could have sworn your first username indicated that your "offspring" was canine. Not to worry, the principle is still the same, it is well-known, and stated in "About GN " that "Though the majority of our members are grandmothers, we pride ourselves on our inclusiveness" so there is no danger of a member being slung out if it is discovered that they are not grandparents.

True, fear of spiders seems to be inherent. I understand that fear of snakes is inherent too - I wonder if these fears are passed down through generations for very real reasons?

The very real reasons being that human beings evolved in the tropics and sub-tropics where a lot of spiders and snakes are venomous.

When my DD2 was a baby she was sitting in the kitchen watching her dad mending a puncture on his bike. He put the inner tube around where she was sitting at one point (so she was sitting in its circle). She was terrified and utterly distraught until he removed it! Inherent fear of snake-like things!

She didn't mind it when he was holding it and patching it up, only when it "trapped" her.

Everybody mends punctures in their kitchens, right?

Sorry Elegran I hope I have not misled you or anybody over my Granny/Mum status, not that it makes any difference but I do have 3 DDs and 4 DGCs.
But who cares and why the heck is anybody getting steamed up over it?

“Right” not “tight” !

My 22 month DGS is currently mid - meltdown but frankly some people on here (no names,pack drill) are putting him in the shade
Could we just ?Let it go?

No, you might give her butterflies!

DanniRae Crumbs! Surely MawBroom" or anybody cannot refuse you access because you didn't become a parent?!!!! IS THAT LEGA?

Get the name tight if you want to have a go at me - and “calm down dear” don’t put words into my moth

I’m tempted to quote something from Hamlet Act 3, Scene 2, but I won’t ???

Jalima1108 Have no fear!
The research was granted ethical clearance.
It's international.
I'm a minion and not involved, just fascinated by what I was told!

No names are ever reported/used, even pseudonyms.

"Types of response" are not what you might imagine, I did not study discourse analysis so can't actually explain but no one needs fear anything. Nobody would have a clue who wrote what or when etc and even whether it was on GN, since social media sites are not named.

When you joined did you not read something to the effect that you must be aware that what you write goes into the public domain, could be repeated say on FB and all replies are the property of GN?

But rest assured, the research is a very anonymous thing and no quotations are allowed from any replies, everything as far as I can see gets reduced to numbers; how many, say, defensive words, supportive words etc , by the way, I made up defensive and supportive, I don't know if that's what they will analyse.

I think it's going to involve something in America and in my experience that means it will not be completed for years. They might put out little bits at a time. you might see something in the newspaper if it's interesting enough.

There's already research done and published (different people) about Social Media use, I think it was mainly about FB. I'll try and find out....

Pres. Trump's prolific tweeting stirred up interest this time as far as I know!!

Main points though -
-nobody will be recognised,
-no quotes are used,
-the material is in the public domain so anyone is free to sit and count how many times a word is used, or whatever they do.
-all the social network domains seem to be being looked at
-even the source - GN - won't be recognisable.
- i don't know the time scale of the data collection, whether its a whole year (wow, that's a lot of data!) or one month of the year... It's kind of hush hush!

If I for example, wanted to see if there were a seasonal difference in the use of the word "love", on Social Networks, no one could stop me counting how many times that word appeared and graphing it against each month. I could do the same by comparing, say newspapers and the way language is used. All I'd have to do would be to buy the newspapers concerned. This is what is meant by "Public Domain".

But I won't be, believe me!

"saying cruel things especially when hiding behind a secret persona"
Secret persona? Mawbroon's persona has been very open ever since she joined GN. That persona is clear to all who read posts, and includes the fact that she is not a mother or a gran - so the post that has caused Luzdoh to rear up in horror and threaten to leave should have been taken as it is meant, with a large dose of self-deprecatory humour. Even for a new(ish) poster the reaction was over-dramatic - your Psych friends analysis will surely contain an insight into the perils of reading in hostility where it doessn't exist.

And I do hope that GNHQ were consulted before these threads were used as the basis for a study in social media psychology.

Stella14 THANK YOU! I'm so glad you have responded! I was hoping so much someone with current knowledge of the NHS Mental Health system would explain things!

I retired at the end of the millennium (early retirement due to car accident, was doing research into Health Psychology) I did Post Grad at the Institute of Neurology and worked at The Institute of Psychiatry,Vhild and Adolescent Psychiatry (Prof. Sir Michael Rutter appointed me.) which is joined to the Maudsley. I had to learn to diagnose Autism and to recognise other disorders especially Personality Disorders.

Recently I've done some voluntary data collection and information gathering for some research on behalf of some charities who were concerned about issues to do with Mental Health and public protection.

About 10 years ago I went "undercover"and learned what was taught on these self-styled "hypo-therapy" courses. It was horrific! You would have been so upset! They did not screen people for mental health issues for a start. The more people the more money (over £1000 per person and then they said you can't use the certificate without buying our insurance, doing our ??? courses at £500 each etc.
I can't list it all here.

I tried to say in my first letter here that only qualified Health Practitioners should do Clinical Hypnotherapy. I knew CPs and Mental Health Nurses and Psychiatrists did it. But with you people the sufferer is in safe hands! It was much too long a response so I don't hold it against anyone who missed it, here's what I put;

"You should never let anyone hypnotise you who is not a health practitioner or working under the auspices of one and insured by them."

I should have made it clearer, so thank you so much for doing so and explaining that now people are referred to Community Mental Health Teams.

Best wishes with your very important work.

Good points, Jalima Let's hope GNHQ picks up on them.

I love what you just said MawBroon

^ I knew you were lovely when I read your other replies! I love What you have said. I am hoping there would be a huge walk-out in solidarity if anyone were told they had to leave on the grounds of having no GC^

Let’s not let the facts get in the way of a good (over) reaction, eh?

Thank you Old Meg as you say I clearly made an unwarranted assumption
Excusable though!

^However, I have noticed how the same people regularly reply here with confrontational and quite disrespectful words. I mentioned my Psych friends' research into Social Media earlier. They have found some rather disconcerting results. They are putting through analysis the frequent users at the moment and analysing their types of reply. I asked them to include GN and they already had.
The data is so vast it might take a year longer before they publish it.^

Well, if that is indeed true then it is very worrying indeed. Some posters are quite open about their RLs, and, if usernames were to be published as part of this research that is even more worrying.

GNHQ - are you aware of this research, of GN posters' responses being part of these analyses, who are the researchers and where will the results of the data be published?

Knowing that threads were also on FB and Twitter upset a number of posters but this is a more disturbing revelation.