Grandsons first birthday present rejected

Did the "g for giraffe" mystery ever get solved?
What are we meant to be taking a stand against?

I wud be Xtremely pleesed to no wot it is abowt.

I always just asked my daughter to get the children's presents, and gave her the money.

Maybe I am missing something here but to be honest I get fun from buying anything for my DGC that gives them pleasure or helps make mum and dads parenting journey easier, I honestly don’t care if my DGC are aware of whether it’s from me or not or what others have bought for them or not as long as it helps them to have a great childhood. I know that I love them and they love me so that’s enough of a pay back ?

Gosh, so many rules!

Whatever you do try not to get into tug-of-war situations . Being competitive with the other grandparents spells trouble and puts the young parents in an awkward position. Someone here suggested getting a paddling pool for the summer. I think that would be a good idea.

Try not to feel that you are bei g unfairly treated. I buy some bigger toys form my 4 GC and keep them at My house. I am sure I have more toys at my house. I get great pleasure from seeing my grandchildren
playing in my house and I can play with them as well.
That way I get more pleasure from the toys which are at my house with my grandchildren.
My.GC get a lot of toys from all the family members and I only give them small toys they are allowed to have in their house.
Best Wishes
Joseph Grennell

Well said Faye - will be memorising your words of wisdom for my upcoming first grandchild. Thankyou

Why don’t you give him the toy voucher, then the parents can choose what they think is best for for their child.
I would be offended, they are just being practical.

If I want to buy a 'big' toy for my grandkids, I do it on the understanding it can be kept at mine so it is there for when they play. I usually get them a little toy to take home.

Give your son money to buy what he wants for his child.

jamilia, Mawbroon, re the G for Giraffe as children are taught to read in school using phonics it is better and less confusing for them if an alphabet set is phonetic eg G for Goat, Gate or Ghost rather than Giraffe which is not spelt as it sounds. Hope I've explained that properly! Apologies if someone has already replied.

These issues are common it seems. I have learnt to do what THEY want and smile sweetly through it all. Then get on with my own life. I was recently told not to ask to go along to things they are doing with my grandson, to wait and be asked and stop making them feel pressured. Since then I've not asked anything and have been asked to nothing. New parents today think they know it all, they'll all come looking for help and support soon enough, just smile sweetly and keep your dignity and sanity.

jackiesue
Your thoughts are exactly how I feel.
My husband and I smile and keep the decorum whilst making sure our own hard won lives stay intact.

Count yourself lucky - when I first saw your post I thought that your gift had literally been rejected and sent back! Ask them what they want you to get with your toy voucher. I couldn't give my GS a first Christmas present or first Birthday present as his mother refuses us any contact so as I said, count yourself lucky.

Have you asked your son why he feels your proposed gift is inappropriate? Is it the expense? Is he worried that you are spending more than you can afford? You say they live in a smallish house. As others have mentioned, space might be an issue. Our own son urges us not to get large toys, even though they have a reasonably sized house. If we buy large toys, they are kept at our house (though I appreciate that if you don't live fairly near to the family the child wouldn't have regular access to the toy so that wouldn't be a practical solution).

I would be surprised if your son was deliberately meaning to scupper your plans or be unkind.

We've set a limit for each DGS for Christmas and birthdays, and check with the DC as to what we should get. This year we'd seen Magformers at a children's festival, so suggested we bought a few sets of them, and they were delighted with that - they'll last for years, don't take up space, and can be added to. If there's nothing needed they get the cash to pay for something later in the year or put in the savings accounts. There's nothing new in this, as my parents and in-laws used to do the same for our children back in the day.

We do have a lot of the DC's old toys here, a full bookcase of books, and treasures that I've found at charity shops, so there's always plenty for the DGC to play with when they come here. Sometimes the DGS "borrow" something for a week or so - I've noticed the parents are always glad to give them back!

Don't whatever you do get into a competition with the other grandparents - thereby lies madness.

Thanks Ethel, I forgot the flippin' phonics!!

I take your point about phonics, but by the time this DGC is ready for phonics, he is likely to have grown out of a walker!

If toy voucher is for Toys R Us spend it immediately as they are going into liquidation at end of month unless they can find £15M.

My sons house is also small so I tend to buy jigsaws or learning toys that don't take us much room. I agree with the others about you perhaps giving them the voucher or buy smaller toys that don't take up much space. In my experience kids prefer the empty boxes to play with .

For my granddaughter 1st birthday present I bought her a pandora's bracelet, just the bracelet medium sized. Now every year I get her a new bead to go on it. By the time she's old enough to wear it, it should have quite a few beads on it. Something for the garden in the summer maybe nice, a small slide perhaps or a child's tent or wigwam by then he could be walking and he won't need a walker

Could you keep it at your house so he can ride on it when he visits? My house is overrun with toys for my DGCs - many of them belonged to my DD and DS!

Thanks everyone for all your advise,will ask DL if there is anything they would like or just give them the voucher.

My daughter has a large house but still asked me not to buy anything for birthdays that would take up too much space. Now I always ask before I buy. I don't get much enjoyment out of it but I suppose that's not the point.

I haven't read all of this, so apologies if the point has been made.
We lived in a small house when children were small, and I said to family -please check gifts with us so kids can get maximum use out of them - they did and we still have some of the lovely toys that have lasted, for GCs to play with when they visit.
Our GCs also live in a small house and the other GPs (lovely people in all other respects) cannot resist buying large toys for which there is little room. There is not much room to 'play' just move around huge plastic toys. GCs' uncles bought a carefully chosen 'balance' bike for the park. Other GPs bought a huge Superhero bike without consulting the parents. A shed for large wheeled toys takes up much of the tiny garden. I myself can't see why the other GPs can't 'see' this and stop buying stuff!
Of course we we work around it, but the parents know that we won't be offended if asked to dial it down, whilst the others might.