Why am I worrying about everthing!

CBT taught me this: Write down a situation or life event. Then draw a circle beside these words. Divide into quarters. Write Emotions, Thoughts, Physical senses (ie rapid heartbeat etc), and Actions in the 4 quarters. Now think about each quarter in relation to the situation. It's surprising how calming this can be and how it can have an effect on future situations.

Welcome to WorriersRus!
I do think being retired plays a part - previously there was so much to worry about at work, home usually took care of itself.
There has been some good advice and understanding here. All I would add is be aware of the danger areas, if coffee was mentioned, coffee was expected . So no guilt on your part.
Be clear in your own mind and TRY to separate out what you cannot change from what you can and know the difference (to paraphrase that well known "prayer")
Will somebody please remind me of that the next time I am lying awake at 4.30 in the morning?

Glen I do sympathise! I am exactly the same. My life is a constant worry/mither merry-go-round. As well as the big things like health, I worry that I have said/done the wrong thing. If I go out with friends for lunch, when I get back I say to DH 'I said such and such - do you think I upset them with that?' When I buy birthday/Christmas presents or cards I worry that people won't like them/be offended by them There isn't a minute of any day when I am not worrying about something. To be honest, I have had so many awful big things happen in my life, I am not sure why I am like this with small stuff. Low self esteem I think. To my knowledge, I have never upset/offended anyone yet, it's all in my head. I am 68 too!

I have been worrying more for a year or two. I try to stop, but things just float into my mind, anything and everything. When I wake up I start thinking about even the smallest plans, not just imminent things. DH says stop thinking about things, but it is not that easy. I'm not timid, go out alone, to groups, to big football matches, but this stupid worrying worries me!!

I tend to do my worrying before people come. As I live alone I tend to only have things I like in the cupboards. So I rush out and buy extras that I think I might need - different coffee, milk, biscuits - might they want something more substantial - salad stuff, cold meat etc. - should I offer a glass of wine - visit the scary alcohol shelves at the supermarket. Etc. etc.

Then I am always left with stuff I don't want, can't eat and feel silly for wasting my money.

Instead of just opening my front door and welcoming them in and enjoying their company.

I've been a worrier all my life. I worry if I haven't got anything to worry about. Since retirement I worry about trivia that would not have bothered me at all when I was working. It is a hard habit to break and making comparisons with people who really do have concerns to worry about has little effect! I do have a mantra on my computer that opens up every day ... Can't say I always abide by it but it is a daily reminder!

Sorry. Don't know why it went on twice.

Glenfinnan, what would you say if a best friend told you this problem? If you think through how you would respond, you might find some answers.
I have sweated the small stuff all my life, and it is horrible and a hard habit to break, but it must be a shock for you coming on after retirement. Perhaps you have the answer there, and might enjoy finding a hobby which really does absorb you. Genealogy maybe?
Good luck. If it helps, you are definitely not on your own.

Glenfinnan, what would you say if a best friend told you this problem? If you think through how you would respond, you might find some answers.
I have sweated the small stuff all my life, and it is horrible and a hard habit to break, but it must be a shock for you coming on after retirement. Perhaps you have the answer there, and might enjoy finding a hobby which really does absorb you. Genealogy maybe?
Good luck. If it helps, you are definitely not on your own.

I've always been a worrier but since I've retired I keep thinking about the fact that I've got less time on this earth than I've already had. I try to stay positive and enjoy all the little things but its very difficult and when I read some of the things that some people on here have to cope with I really have nothing to worry about. Again its probably because I've too much time on my hands.

If it gets really bad I would recommend a course of CBT ( Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)
I worried so much about everything, but mostly my children, it made me ill. CBT helped a great deal.

It hasn't stopped me worrying but the worry is in proportion and manageable.

I do hope you feel better soon.

Enjoy your walk - be kind to yourself x

You are a wise woman! Nanaandgrampy Thank you again! Just going out for a walk now even though it's raining and tell myself to get a grip!

I think some of us just do worry about what others think/want/need Glen and most of the time there's no need at all. But its a hard habit to break I know. We're part of what I would consider to be 'the caring' generation.

Just treat every worry individually and put it in the appropriate box ...small stuff... don't worry. Big stuff...panic !!! LOL

I'll remember that Nanaandgrampy, thank you. I've always tried never to upset people but think I'm now sweating the small stuff! This will be my mantra from now on!

Grampy was born a worrier and through the years that had coloured some of his experiences.

When he retired we had a heart to heart and now he worries about only what he can change. Everything else is just pointless.

I'm sure you're friends did exactly as they expected, popped in for coffee , a chat and to enjoy your company. Try doing what Grampy does - that way you can enjoy retirement, your friends and life in general.

What is it the Americans say -- Don't sweat the small stuff :-)

Thank you Bikergran I feel such a wuss at the moment! Your words are reassuring!

Glen I would think the fact that they said they would "pop in" meant they didn't really have any intentions of staying and wouldn't have even thought about you providing lunch, they were prob going to have lunch out somewhere..