mother's day

Maybe she's poorly, I get similar from my mum and especially when she's ill, she's really awful. It sounds to me like she has a physical health condition that may be only tiny, but is magnified due to her age if she's acting unusually. I would just go with it, not that you've any choice, and maybe speak to a dr who can give her a health check. My father in law's concentration was very poor a few months ago, we called the GP who did an overall heath check and he was anaemic. With medication he's a lot better now.

Take some photographs of your new home and take them to her. I can't believe that there are many 99 year olds who don't have days when they don't want to get out of bed. My mother is about to turn 94 and for a while she has gone through periods when she doesn't get out of bed, not usually for the whole day but for a while she didn't get up in the morning and now she has afternoon naps. Right now she gets up well most days and I would be thrilled, and a bit surprised, if she is still able to do that at 99.

My MIL is ninety two.
We no longer bring her to our home
It is too much of an upheaval for her .
We take the celebration to her house .
(inc birthdays & Xmas)
We had a lovely day with her on Saturday .
she enjoyed the fuss her card and chocolates
Sunday was then left for us to enjoy Mother's day with our daughter and grandchildren .

Well, I was going to post Greyduster but then I thought I was missing something subtle

I agree rudeness is not acceptable at any age. My MIL thinks it's ok to shout at assistants in Sainsbury's and poke them with her stick if she can't find the eggs. I dont see why just cos she's in her 90s that becomes acceptable. Perhaps the mother in question just didn't feel up to getting out of bed and facing the world . I agree just don't expect her to want to visit you, just go and see her instead.

Cath9 - my Mother is exactly the same as yours! I felt so upset I when I last visited her that I took to Forums because it made me as upset as you. She has free telephone calls but does not phone me. I offer to take her out, but she won't go. It is hard to express the love that you feel for your Mother when you hit a brick wall often.

Yeah sounds to me like she's simply 99 and all that entails. Don't take it personally.

Have I just posted that on the wrong thread? I was responding to something rubylady said but it doesn't seem to be on here now! Apologies if I have.

"Five forget Mothers Day". From what I can remember of Julian, Dick and Anne, whose parents perennially packed them off first to boarding school and then to stay for weeks with poor Aunt Fanny and weird Uncle Quentin while they went swanning off here there and everywhere, they wouldn't get a b****y Mothers Day card from me either! As for George, I doubt she could give a toss!

What everyone else says, as your Mother is very old, and doesn't remember much.
Even if it is an act, at that age she won't be around a lot longer, and if she is here next year, go and see her and take flowers.

My friend took her active 90 year old mother to an open evening somewhere and mother pushed her way through quite rudely to get to the nibbles and drink . Friend said she threatened her mother that she would take her home if she didn't behave. I said 'is she not allowed to do that at 90? and my friend replied that bad manners are not allowed at any age.

However, forgetting she had seen your brother does seem to be an indication that all is not well with her memory and she may not remember yesterday at all when you go over to see her - which I hope is soon.

Gosh Cath, 99! what an amazing age your mother is. Sounds like her behaviour could be age related, I would not see it as being 'turned down' rather that her age and health could be influencing her behaviour now, bless her.

Wish my mother was still here to be difficult - not that she ever was

At 99 yrs I'd feel entitled to do exactly as I pleased any day of the week. She is surely at best forgetful at that age and I really don't get why you feel its a personal slight. Just be happy she's still alive and it sounds like, full of fight. Could you not of gone and visited her instead of expecting her to come to you?
I'd be so happy if my Mum was still here so I could give her flowers.

Cath your mum is 99, give her a break. I think you are expecting far too much.