Grandchildren telling you what they want without being asked

Babysitting Saturday night, I ask wee one’s what they preferred for Christmas money or gifts.

Five year old wants money, lots of money. I asked her what she would buy with all that money and she said. “Toys of course!”

Six year old wants toys. She said, “I wouldn’t sell my toys even if someone offered me 80 pence.”

The older one’s of course prefer the cash.

So that’s me sorted.

I think the fact that your granddaughter felt able to text you and ask what she wanted is great. She probably wants to save up for something Special, maybe ask her what she Is planning on buying. My children dont have a good relationship with their grandparents and just shrug with embarrassment when their grandparents ask what they want for xmas.

this nanny isnt here just for xmas and birthdays! If my adult grandchildren cant be bothered with me at any other time of the year, I cant be bothered with them for xmas and birthdays!

My DGS ,aged 5, and I started a Christmas list in April! Unfortunately his birthday is in Jan-too near Christmas- so he has a long time to wait between treats.
It's a very long list now but a couple of things have been consistently mentioned so a Lego shark that can eat mimi figs is at the top. I love it and hope it will continue for years but when he's older I'm ready for the request for money?

rubylady I have some scrapbooking albums all ready to do with all the stickers etc to go in them.
I just need to get motivated, they seem like a good idea when I bought them about 8 years ago!

ps I did ask her first what she wanted, she did wait until asked

DGD asked me for something for her birthday that costs 99p

I'd not heard of that . And you can get it for free!

Cards Against Humanity

This is a Christmas present that proving very popular this year.

Christmas is well and truly money making time of the year.

Brilliant Rubylady that's showing the true (I think) spirt of Chritmas, well done , be good if we could all follow your example in some small way m

Also, when I get sorted out and everything is tidy and I have some time on my hands, then I am going to make albums up for both my ED and DS of photos of them growing up. They might not appreciate them now, or even know about them, with my ED not speaking to me, but I will leave them for them and then at least they will know that they have always been in my thoughts, regardless.

You could put money in a card but also make a voucher for her to spend some time with you, say on a shopping trip or to the cinema. That way you get to spend time together too and she remembers having fun with her gran.

Christmas does not need to be expensive if you use your imagination. Make your own vouchers can be useful, babysitting service or doing the housework for someone, taking them for a meal, washing the car, anything that gives a break or spends some time together. Even a book of vouchers gives choice, say one a month. Make a gift, paint a canvas, write a poem or a story, do an album of growing up photos, decorate a shoe box and put favourite sweets in shredded paper for them to find.

I've got some small chocolate Father Christmas's and snowmen, some cellophane bags, curling ribbon and thank you stickers (the bags, ribbon and stickers I already had) and I am making up little thank you bags for the deliver people, Tesco delivery men, post lady and my Hermes delivery lady. Only a little something but it's still nice, I think.

Another good compromise idea Pollyperkins?

Yes but there was a time when my brother and I both used to snd cheques, which seemed a bit pointless! Embarrassing too when their cheque is for more! So now we ask but usually end up sending vouchers (equestrian) which at least doesnt just go into the bank and get 'lost'

Whilst I do agree money is better than an unwanted /unsuitable gift, it would seem to me the spirt of Christmas is lost, each person may as well just buy a present for themselves ! I think Penstemmon & family have the best answer/compromise secret santa & a family outing is a brilliant solution , after all that's what it's meant to be all about .

Gift recipts are only worth it if you've made sure there's a branch of same shop near the recipient. We've sent un-worn outfits that did have gift recipts to the charity shop because the expense and time of travelling to an out of the way store in another town would be more than the value of the swapped item!

Same for gift cards. Have unused ones. (And no, not all gift cards are valid online even for retailers who do have websites! annoying!)

If the idea is that the recipient choses something that suits, surely it makes no sense to not give cash so they're free to chose at a place that suits them?

I rarely give clothing as gifts, but if I do, I ask for a gift receipt and hand it over to the mum so that a more suitable garment - or the right size - can be bought.

I think sometimes teens can be a breath of fresh air!

They'll see their parents smile and be polite about something they're not happy about and think "why not just say?"

bluntness/ being upfron can be refreshing…. or rude… I think you have to factor in tone, history, context and age to figure out which it is

When cash is tight and Christmas expensive it does seem more practical to provide what it wanted rather than not!
however the spirit of Christmas seems a little brushed under the carpet in those circumstances. We try to organise an family outing to get the Christmas feel and then the cash / asked for gift seems less 'cold'!

For adults we do a Secret Santa approach so each adult gets one gift. Adults prepare a list and we set a spending limit.. we do it via the Elfster website. Saves hours of dithering over what to get and means that someone gets one thing they really want wrather thn half a dozen things they probably don't!

I don't think that was rude if you always buy for her TBH, we have a few relatives who spectacularly miss the mark with my DDs gifts, I feel bad because they've gone out and spent their money on DDS and the girls will inevitably put whatever certain people gave them in the next charity shop clear out we do. Some stuff they get doesn't even get opened

That makes my girls seem ungrateful, they're REALLY not! It's just one or two people who (nicely) go to the effort of buying for them but get it SOOO wrong, e.g. clothes too small, something more suitable for a 6 year old when they're 11, that sort of thing.

It's awkward because how do you say "don't waste your money on wrapped presents" without sounding hurtful or grabby?

The worst ones are when you can see that they really put thought into it, so it's marginally related to the girls interests, but still miles out and won't be used or used much

I get messages from my daughter as to what the grandchildren want. Now they are just into teens, it has been money, because the things they want cost too much for one person to buy, so they put it all together to get what they want. By the time they are 17, they will be pretty well adult and I would expect them to tell me themselves.
I wouldn't presume to know what a 17-y-o nowadays would be in to , and that includes 'little things they can unwrap' I would rather give money than something that would go in the bin within a month.
I do expect them to tell me what the money was spent on. That goes for their parents too, who get money for birthdays:-)

Mancgirl & Funnygran, good to know I'm not alone , those annuals were a real joy & a treat ,especially as we wouldn't know until Christmas Day if Father Christmas would get the right one! lol happy days ?

Used to love those annuals too. I still have a couple of Girl annuals and a School Friend from the early 60's. I would have been so disappointed not to get at least one for Christmas.

And it is supposed to be the season of good will. Bah Humbug!!!

Norose4 - deciding between the Bunty other Judy annual was a major decision. Bunty usually won ad I had the comic weekly! Now with our first 9 month old dgs Christmas seems to be taking on the magic again. For now he can't ask for anything but it's lovely choosing toys again. Nephews boys are requesting money - 2 gifts less to think about ☺