Asperger grandson not invited to party

It's sad that he hasn't been invited, but it is entirely up to the other mother who she invites to the party, even though it seems unfair. Parties are very expensive and you have to put a limit on numbers. I don't think you should say anything, but by all means ask the birthday boy out for a little treat with your grandson. (It's called "Turning the other cheek") Perhaps your daughter (not you!) could say something like: "This is a little treat for X as my son couldn't spend time with him on his actual birthday."

Iam I hope my post of 13:22:23 there didn't sound like some kind of a 'retort'. It wasn't meant to be! Came out a bit abrupt.

I get all the names mixed up, Xbox Wii2 I've no idea which of the very exciting things they are and I'm afraid I don't care. Providing mum says yes they can have one and it isn't silly money (or I'm chipping in for a special gift), that's ok with me. I am definitely a grannie now. My older grandsons are very patient with my technological limitations and one of them does try to hide a grin when I ask a very basic question about my phone.

Yes Iam64. And it doesn't get any easier as they get older either.

Sorry. Back to thread subject.

Oh yes harrigran! One of my two has got a Wii2. I think I bought that last Xmas. Honestly! Does anyone else totally forget what of this crap they have forked out for?!

Definitely not an X box though.

It is heart breaking sometimes Mamie. It's heart warming though, to read so many posts here from loving grandparents. People are much better informed about ASD now than not so very long ago, for which we can all be thankful.

Apart from the likely "triad" of difficulties with communication, difficulties with social interaction and repetitive behaviour, I really don't think anyone can assume anything about children with ASD. My 10 year old grandson has high-end ASD, he loves parties and isn't bothered by noise. He tries very hard to be friendly and whilst he doesn't always get it right, you can remind him that he has talked for long enough about a particular subject and he will stop. I can quite see that with time he will be able to recognise cues that he is boring people with a monologue. He already has a traffic light system for what he can say to family, friends, people he knows a little and total strangers. Other people with ASD will never be able to recognise social cues, some will never speak. It is a condition that covers a huge range of behaviours.
My heart goes out to the little boy in the OP and I think there is no excuse for the behaviour of the other boy's parent.
My grandson's teacher says that he will often avoid children who would like to be friendly because he is scared of getting it wrong and being rejected.
It is heartbreaking sometimes.

I have great sympathy with you on this, redf8235, as I also have a grandson who is autistic/aspergers. Mine is older, 17.
It is hurtful and baffling why your grandson was not invited to that party and I can understand how angry you are.
But I do not think you can go against your daughter's wishes really. Our job is to help and comfort, but not to make decisions like this, unfortunately! I often long to interfere but have learned the hard way to zip my lip!
I have a wonderful relationship with my grandson, he is lovely in every way, - just a bit different, that is all.
He certainly never gets sweary or scary, quite the opposite. I think some people misunderstand autism.
One difference between your grandson and mine is that mine will not go to any parties or social gathering which he does not regard as family. He has always had a bee in his bonnet about this. He will only mix with 'family'.
Best wishes.

even.

Quite the reverse jingl, Xbox games can be very noisy and violent. They are often played on large screen TV. My GC are not allowed one, they play nice girlie games on a WiiU grin

Wtf is an "Xbox bus"?! I

I have never actually worked out what an 'Xbox' is. I bought my GS a Google Pixel C for his birthday. He plays games on it. Is an Xbox the same sort of thing?

Will this Xbox playing mean that it will be a quiet well ordered party?

Surely we can understand it wouldn't bea good idea to invite a child you know would hate it and would probably have to be comforted

Jinglebells nowhere in the original post does it say anything that comnects to that answer indeed the reverse, the original poster says that it's a computer based party and the little boy would like that as he is good with computers it also said he had been to previous parties of this child's without problems so where your statement arrived from I can't imagine

My eldest DGS, now grown up, has Asbergers. When he was 7, his younger brother, a lovely sociable boy, was also excluded from parties by association with his elder brother. Parents at the school asked that DGS be expelled from the school because of his condition. Instead, he was sent to a special unit one day each week where he was taught coping strategies and how to behave in a 'normal' way so he could fit in with the other children, He is highly intelligent and now has a high powered job in the City.

Thanks jingle, glad we sorted that. It's sometimes difficult not to feel defensive on his behalf. He is a gentle, kind and interesting young man, though it can be mind blocking when he gets enthralled in his own stories.

I didn't realise he was grownup. No. Just couldn't understand it with a child. Yes, I realise an adult can accept and realise how they behave.

You saying I'm a fibber thenJingle? I did say, he is now in his twenties and has been helped to understand his behaviour because he is very intelligent and has read, researched a lot. He is developing insight. Plus, his diagnosis is ASD/atypical, not asbergers. He could certainly be thought to have asbergers by people he meets.

cathymum, even though I said the OP should stay out of it, I can't help but admire the re-gifting of the cake!

impossible

Very unusual for an Asperger child to realise he is being boring. Practically possible I would have thought.

My grandson apologises to me for knowing what swearwords are, tells me who uses them, then tells me we needn't.
So thoughtful of him.

Surely we can understand that it wouldn't be a good idea to invite a child you know would hate it and would probably have to be comforted. Best to come to a separate arrangement.

Too quick to condemn, I think.

And Tourette's doesn't have to be swearing. That's the popularised version.

Yes. I've never heard of Asperger kids being particularly sweary. Definitely Tourette's.

Well said Iam64 you took the words out of my mouth
Starbird the children have no fear of him the original post says that at least four of them are good friends I don't think you read the thread very well aspergers children aren't likely to be swearing, they are much more likely to be the quiet a bit scared one no Mcdonalds in the equation the party is an Xbox party which the little boy would be comfortable and able for as he is good with computers
Cathymum I admired your reaction and would like to think that's what I would have done too I think you handled it very well
Exclusion is a severe form of bullying and coming from an adult is unforgivable in my mind