What can I do to get my husband to turn the heating on?

The heating allowance is paid to you, not to him. Don't hand it over if you are not getting heat.

Why does he laugh at the way you feel the cold? Does he normally find other people's discomfort amusing or is it only yours? Has it been a joke between you in past years, when you were younger and were not so affected by it?

Why haven't you done something about this earlier?

This is more than controlling behavior it is abuse of a vulnerable person!!!!!
Speak to your diabetic nurse or your GP they will probably contact social services to pay a visit to check on your welfare.

My DH is funny about the central heating. We have a dreadful old system and to replace it we would have to have it repiped so we do limit it. I have a dyson heater which really helps boost the temperature but DH often says it's too hot in here and turns it off. I feel the cold and wrap myself up all the year round . I think many men from what friends say are obsessed with heating bills whether or not they are short of money. Take a hammer to the barricaded controls.

Any one acting like this would surely be breaking the law by endangering your health and possibly your life and depriving you of the ability to keep yourself warm. I agree you should get an appointment with your GP - this man needs telling and your health carers need alerting. He is not an easy man to live with; he is coercive and controlling.

I would have walked out on a man like that years ago and found myself one who actually loved me enough to care about my health and well being.

OR, save energy yourself by not using the cooker, kettle etc. Cold meals for a week might get your point home.

Perhaps the suggestion to move to a hotel isn't so stupid as i first thought. Move out for a few days and his stomach might change his mind for him.

dolly it sounds as if he takes 'publicity' a little more seriously. Are there mutual friends as well as family members you could share the situation with? Perhaps that would discourage such extreme behaviour. Yes do get a serious heater, also consider the suggestions about an electric blanket and maybe one of the personal heat pads for your chair. I also get cold because of a health issue, my husband simply tells me to heat our home for my comfort and dresses accordingly to keep himself cooler. I think this is the more usual approach and am concerned for you.

He laughs? He must be either abusive or deranged!
I suggest you show him the responses on here, or at least tell him what they say, and that absolutely nobody thinks he is in the right on this.

You need something more substantial than a fan heater if that is all you have for heating. There are some very good room heaters that can be mounted on the wall and act like a radiator.

Personally I would demand that I have control over half the household income and use it for keeping warm and feeding myself.
My temper would not make life easy for him I am afraid.

How can someone barricade boiler controls? I have owned a number of houses with a number of different boiler controls – none of them could be "barricaded". Perhaps he just isn't telling the truth. If so, go and stay in a hotel that is cosy until the weather is warmer.

Many thanks for all of your suggestions but mos of all your concern. I have tried many of them and he just laughs.
I do get a heating allowance but he as that as he pays the bills.

We have got an attractive looking fire in the living room but it only looks nice, it doesn't heat the room. When he came in last night (He'd been visiting his brother - he doesn't go to pubs) I told him I had put it on here. I think that shocked him and he told me I should put the fire on if I am cold. So I am going to buy a fan heater - as suggested and put that on.
I think I will call it, 'round 62'because I have tried so many ways to get him to understand.
The funniest was sitting with my coat, dressing gown, scarf, bedsocks and deer stalker hat on to watch TV and he didn't even comment.

It certainly doesn't sound to me like love. He would want your welfare to be looked after if he really loved you, not have you freezing while he was out for 5 hours. Not have you freezing at all. Personally I would either change the locks on him while he was out or leave him, no matter how long I had been married. Life is too precious to be put in this intolerable situation. I don't live like that and I am single, in social housing and on benefits and my heating is on when I want it to be. Please re think your living conditions, for your own welfare.

Has your husband always had this attitude? Does he allow reasonable heating in winter?
Do not put up with this. Get an electric heater for yourself and ask medical professionals to help you, as others have suggested.

That is terrible. How miserable it must be feeling so cold. Who on earth wants to wear their coat round the house! I think SueD is right, it is tantamount to psychologically abusive behaviour and there are new laws now relating to this.

I also agree re the fan heater/electric blanket/hot bath approach.

I do, though, think it is intolerable that you are being treated in such a way. He is most certainly not a "reasonable" man but a very selfish and bullying one. Is there anybody in the family that can talk to him, especially with regard to your past and current health issues?

That's shocking and in my opinion it is abusive behaviour. He is being controlling of you, for whatever reason, and new laws have been introduced to combat that. Someone needs to have a word in his shell-like.

In the meantime, get yourself a small fan heater, or a heated throw or an electric blanket that you can retire to bed with. Or put your oven on full blast. Is your hot water still on? If so, have lots of nice warm baths. He might see the error of his ways then.

Seriously I think there is a real health issue here. My advice would be to buy a small heater and/or go out to the library every day (or somewhere you can be warm) and tell your husband that it's too cold for you to stay at home without adequate warmth.

I'm afraid I wouldn't tolerate this at all. Presumably it's your joint home? Do you receive the heating allowance? That's what it's for for goodness sake!
I would get a chap round to sort out the controls for me, failing that I would do as others have suggested and make one room-do you have a spare?-into my own little cosy den both to sit and sleep in too. And I'm not sure I would let him in either!

I just would not stand for this. The moment he walked out the door I would have had someone round to sort out the controls on the heating. It's your house too. In fact I would probably lock him out until he was very cold and make him promise never to do it again before I let him in, but then I'm quite bolshie feisty.

He needs a good talking-to by your GP or a Health Visitor - what he's doing is very wrong!

Hopefully the summer will be warm enough for you not to be too cold but you really must get something sorted out before next winter or your health will really suffer.

DH feels the cold because he's on warfarin so I'm getting used to having to have a heater on even when it's quite warm.

Go on strike - no cooking, no washing - until he sees reason. "He's very easy to live with" - no he isn't!!! Please don't knuckle under to this - it is wholly unreasonable.

When he goes out for five hours, would that be to a nice warm pub?

Don't beg.....Get even with him. There must be something you can do that will hit him below the belt. (not literally although I think I would!)

Dollyjo Speak to your Doctor or District Nurse about your situation at home and ask them to explain to husband, your needs regarding your condition including keeping warm.

Do you have a family member or friend who can explain in No uncertain terms that you need to keep warm due to illness/ condition.

Do you have a spare room that you could have as a bed sit with your TV, books etc. This you could keep warm with a small heater.

Good luck

I don't know about being easy to live with, he sounds impossible to me. I would retire to bed and refuse to do anything. Of course you need to be warm, this is why pensioners get a heating allowance.