New baby in family but not sure what to do...

Well I'm with jingles and anno on this. Clearly a few basic rules - I would never have popped in if not arranged. Always used texts not phone. But bloody hell - keep away for 2 weeks to enable bonding? Went more when paternity leave finished but the idea of not going for a couple of weeks? And certainly in between visits photos and texts. Why on earth not? If they know where you are in an emergency ( at 2 days old we had to rush round to care for dgs1 whilst dgs2 had to go immediately to hospital) they can share the joy with you as well. And wanted to

Oh ok! And Grandad!

Oh yes she is! Granny is always a key figure in a grandchild's life.

#startasyoumeantogoon

"Grandma time". It's all about grandma for some people. Grandma is not a key figure in the first few weeks of a baby's life. Others have said this already though less bluntly.

Has anyone mentioned Grandad? Do pushy grandads exist?

DGS1 was born on a Thursday. We (the hoards) descended on the Saturday. They had two days on their own.

And where did they come across the Gina Ford book? Yep! Over at the Other Place.

I think my daughter got this bonding idea from Gina Fords book. As others have fond I did get much more Grandma time after the paternity leave was over.

When I had my first daughter I asked my mother to stay away for a week. If she had come and helped my (useless and now ex) husband would not have done anything. When we got back from the nursing home I pretended that I did not know how to change a nappy so that he had to help!

If the parents want to be alone with their baby, so be it. They need time to adjust and develop a routine. I see nothing wrong with this. I would imagine both parents are tired. Grandmas time will come in due course.

You're not going on a girl's weekend away Jings. You're going on a Mother and Daughter weekend. Not gong to Venice are you? If so I hope you've got your 'Staysure Travel Insurance'

My opinion, it is their shout, just go with the flow , and try not to rock any boats !!

My opinion, it is their shout, just go with the flow , and try not to rock any boats !!

I would be very hurt if I had been treated like this. Agree with Anno all this bonding business is b******t. Is it something they learn at the pre-natal classes or is the midwives pushing this?

You will probably be asked to visit soon RuugBee and I'd make sure when that happens you admire you're new GC but have somewhere to go so you have to limit your visit to 30 minutes.

Times they are a changing , I think families are more far flung nowadays!!

Possibly why we should cherish what we have!!

Absolutely agree with everything you say anno.

In my opinion there is a lot of b* s* about bonding, just at the time when the new parents really need some support. I had my parents to stay both times - since they lived too far away to just 'pop round'. I valued their support and if they gave unwanted advice, well, I just ignored it! Time was when a baby bonded into an extended family who welcomed him/her into their bosom. When we were children, we had a number of relatives living locally and I don't remember my mum being possessive of us.

Would it shock you to tell you I'm off for a "girls' away" short break tomorrow. With 42 year old daughter?

Surely you can have, and enjoy, your own life and still be a close knit, happy family.

Sorry if I've touched a nerve! You sound a bit rude cross.

They don't keep me at arm's length, you wally Jbells It's the other way round.... I moved away from them. It's not sad at all, it's called having your own life. What does a 45 year old and a 34 year old need me for? Babysitting? Not on your nelly

I had a super MIL who lived next door to us, However, when I had my first born I certainly didn't want her bustling in, however well intentioned .
I wanted , with my husband, to learn as we went along.
That is what happened , I do not regret one moment .

I must remember Absent Grandma's expression "but I'm in the back seat now... it's their journey, not mine."
I often find myself worrying/being concerned about how my children's lives are going, so will say this phrase to myself.

Congratulations on becoming a grandmother RuugBee - you will have many wonderful times ahead I am sure. I think we all expect texts etc to be answered so quickly nowadays, but maybe your daughter has put her phone away (except for the shushing sounds ap) and is concentrating on the baby. I remember our phone calls were unwelcome because the noise of the phone might wake the baby up! Also remember the early weeks can be so tiring. In our day we were in hospital for at least 10 days, with only a couple of hours visiting each day.
I bet she liked the flowers - and I agree with the others, once dad has gone back to work, bet things will change!

She was a very good mum-in-law.

I was extremely glad of the help my mum-in-law gave us. She was an excellent cook!

And she knew a better way of picking up the baby than I did!

Do they get it all from that sodding Mumsnet? I think that website has a lot to answer for. Egging each other on.

Jingl, I don't know if your own mother was alive when you had your babies, but would you have been happy with her coming round a lot to see how you were getting on? It doesn't always feel helpful. It can feel intrusive.