Fashionable words!

OK, but you can hardly be surprised at the question when you entered the discussion of you own free will and declared something odd that others don't find odd at all. I will draw my own conclusion, and it is that your comments on this thread strike me as odd, or rather your decision not to explain your feelings on the subject. Why comment at all if you aren't prepared to explain what you mean?

There's nothing wrong with wanting, or not wanting to do it. What is unjustified is describing another member's daughters' practice as 'odd'.

I expect I wouldn't think twice about it either whenim64 if I was in Africa, lactating, with a hungry baby of a dying mother. You say most of us wouldn't think twice about it - most of the contributors on here that is, not mothers in a first world country I suspect.

We'll have to agree to disagree, Sel. It's a discussion I've participated in several times over the years, and find that there isn't the barrier to feeding others' babies in times of need as one would think. My midwife niece says these conversations start up on the maternity ward quite regularly. She job-shared for the first few months after going back to work, and thought of sharing breast-feeding with her friend as a result of hearing other new mums discussing their plans. If the expressed milk she put in her friend's fridge need supplementing, her friend obliged, and vice versa.

I'm fine with that when 'agree to disagree' sounds good. Fortunately the problem of whether to offer my nipples around is unlikely to trouble me now

It seems that now people are being forced to "defend" their position. Surely we can all express our feelings, which we may accept are irrational, without being made to feel weird. Oh that everyone was rational with a clearly laid out explanation of how we feel and why we feel that way. I can understand why people don't post. I know that certain posters will say we need robust debate - but do we really need to debate how people feel? It is not an essay or a dissertation - just a point of view! I didn't understand the threads where people said it was all getting very aggressive but I see it now. I know I shouldn't have posted and given more ammunition to the rationalists but as I have said before on this forum it upsets me when people are attacked as if their views are stupid and certainly of no consequence - whether I agree with their views or not. Whew, I feel better now. Will go away for a while.

Wise woman, while I agree with much of what you say. I don't think this thread became 'robust' until it was made personal by one member.

Let me explain. If a member started a thread asking 'How do you feel about the practice of breast feeding someone else's child?' any comments would have been acceptable. What caused the hurt was the way a particular member's daughters' practice was described as 'odd'. It became personal. And, that, I think, is what should not happen. And it was not surprising that that comment gave rise to questioning.

You may have interpreted my post as 'personal' MiceElf but it was not. I meant 'odd' as in 'not the norm' or 'unusual', not weird or unnatural

Just thought I'd make that point.

Micelf" I note that *Ana said she FOUND it odd - not that it was odd. She was expressing a feeling which she admitted was illogical! She was not attacking anyone. I shouldn't have stayed here. On the way out for a massage - hurrah! Love and peace to everyone.

What a pity you didn't explain yourself when you were asked what you meant. Actually, it is not at all odd, but you are entitled to think it is.

wisewoman, I'm saddened that you find rationalism a problem. I was brought up and educated to defend or support my views and my feelings with robust and rational argument, to examine my feelings to work out whether they were reasonable or not, and so forth. I think it's a good thing to do and I try to do it. So I think it is reasonable to ask someone why they feel a certain way about something and for people to ask me similar questions.

I don't think it's reasonable to hold onto views or feelings which don't stand up to rational examination.

These are, of course, only my views. I'm only trying to explain here why I asked ana the question I did ask her. She has now explained a little further what she meant, for which thank you, ana.

In normal circumstances I don't think I would have suckled another child - not even my sister's.

I'd be worrying about cross-infection and passing-on unsuitable antibodies.

All I can tell you, Riverwalk, is that the boys concerned are now two fine young men of 30 and 29! I think there is too much worrying now about infection, germs, etc. and apparently that is why so many children have allergies.

I don't doubt Greatnan - not claiming my worries are rational

When my father was a baby and his cousin was a few months younger, the cousin's mother had what would now be diagnosed as post-natal depression. She would get a bottle ready for baby, then forget about it and leave it standing for hours before giving it to him. Needless to say the milk would turn in hot weather, and baby would alternate between being hungry and having an upset tummy. Then he would be fractious and difficult and she would get more upset.

Enter my father's mother, who had plenty of milk (and patience) Once a day she called in and fed her baby and her nephew together, like twins, so that he had one good meal a day, which made him more content, and his mother less trauchled, and more able to look after him.

I have a hunch it is more common than some people might think!

Perhaps it was in those days.

You can have the last word, Ana! My quizzes are on.

do you mean gloves, or what?

Permission to speak Ana

It's not my permission you need, Aka...

But I thought the last word had been kindly granted to you?

Ouch.. hope that is not deliberately misunderstanding a comment to cause a quarrel.

I'm not quarrelling with anyone, just being very careful I don't break any forum rules.