Whats it really like living alon

I had a lightweight vacuum but it was also lightweight on suction. I could have ordered one on line but then there's all the having to wait in for the delivery.

I like to be as independent as possible and there is some satisfaction in coping with all the things that crop up.

My boiler needs major work done on it so it's a big job involving me staying in all day and I do like to get out and about.

Because my health is OK and I'm not old I want to cope on my own but yes, sometimes it would be lovely to have someone else to share the worries with.

Cheelu wasn't "bullied" off, she actually was quite offensive to some members via pm's

And she did seem to come back under other names

"Bullied off"???
No way, Anya, I believe she reincarnated more than once but not before some truly foul mouthed vitriolic PMs.

Have now been on my own for 7 years tomorrow. At times it seems ok and means I can make my own choices of TV programmes etc -and don't have to watch football or Rugby ! Most of the time I would so much prefer to have my DH to share life, conversation {limited though it was by his deafness} meals, holidays etc . I do have good friends and manage to get out to U3A , lunches out sometimes ,but still haven't got used to returning to no-one at home to spend evenings with and talk about the day or discuss family /household matters with. Hopefully one day I WILL be able to do that. Here's to all other Gransnetters who live on their own.

Lived a long time in a bad relationship which was lonely. I've lived alone for a while now and really love it. I am sad when daughters have left after a visit but that's because I miss them and am going to be living near them in less than a year so looking forward to that but will still like having my own space, I have always liked my own company. I appreciate I choose to be alone would never contemplate another relationship. I have lots of friends and actually envy those of you who have had a lovely marriage I've never had that and I understand that would make a difference but I don't have a problem being alone I never had. Perhaps it's to do with personality?

for tomorrow trendygran, I hope there are enough happy memories of better times to help you through.
In general, however, I think it is important to clearly distinguish between alone and lonely and also not to be misled, mainly by the likes of TV advertising, into thinkng that everybody else is always having a non-stop Warners Holiday-type jolly time with smiling spouses brandishing golf clubs, or hordes of angelic DGC who visit every couple of days with a smile and a cake/bunch of flowers for their dear old gran and never fight, DC who pop in and out of the 4* retirement village to listen to Mum's anecdotes and ask her advice, etc etc etc.
Life ain't like that, but nobody posts on Facebook to say they haven't seen a soul for three days, they're having soup and a roll on a tray in front of Countdown and their bunions are playing up!!

Envious my son is still at college, 18 years old and I am trying to encourage him to leave next year so that at 52 I can get my life back!

My FIL died in May and of course it is early days but MIL hates being on her own. They were married very young so had been together for more than 65 years. Luckily she only lives 20 mins away by car so sees us regularly. Our DDs and their family keep her included too. MIL is 83 and although she uses crutches, she is still able to get around and she drives.

What has surprised us is how she has changed in a number of ways. FIL was a perfectly good man but very set in his ways and we have noticed how she now has opinions of her own. She is happy to try all sorts of different foods whereas they always had 'meat and two veg' because he didn't like food messed about with. She seems much more out going and has joined some local groups, going by herself which she has never done before. I'm sure she would rather have FIL with her but it seems to me that she is sort of finding out who she is.

Have any of you noticed the same of yourselves or friends and relatives ?

I lost my other half in 2012 having lived in Turkey for ten years and having been together for 31 years. We had a beautiful home there, but I could not bear to live there without him so returned to UK and bought an apartment. I tried renting, but hated it. I now live near Bristol with the dog and cat, having brought them back from Turkey. I do not have a social circle and one son, who lives a few miles away. I joined the Luncheon Club and Jolly Dollies!! I have lost my confidence with motorway driving having been away for ten years, so am limited (although do have my bus pass yipee). So far I hate every minute of it without him, although believe it or not nobody would know, only you.

Is there anybody else out there that lived abroad but had to return.

Which side of Bristol are you? I'm in Poertishead.

I'm in Backwell -10 miles SW of Bristol.
I've lived alone for almost 30 yrs.There are a few of us in the Bristol area.

I was obliged to live on my own after being with my husband for 40 years - it was his decision to call it a day (and I still don't really know why). However, with hindsight, it was a bit like living alone under the same roof. I've now been in my own house for nearly 18 months (with my 2 cats) and most of the time it's ok. At least I can do what I want, when I want instead of being in fear of not knowing if I've put a foot wrong. The weird thing is, having got over the bitterness of the split, I get on really well with my ex and he's always very willing to give a helping hand with diy etc. We haven't got on so well in about 30 years! I think it's a case of not being able to live with him, nor without him.

Was just looking at yahoo news and came across a video(sorry don't know how to post a link to it)
Channel 4 news "what does it feel like to be old and alone" it made me cry,the lady is 91 and her husband passed away 2yrs ago. I don't know what the solution is to help the older people who have lost loved ones and not to see or hear anyone for days and days,I know there are lots of befriending services but I think these are prob overwhelmed by the people needing them.It is suggested that the government takes a more serious view in making it a health issue.

Nice to hear from you bikergran I hope you are doing ok.

Hello, biker. How are you doing in the job stakes?
Are you still doing what the DWP tell you to?

hi durhamjen annsixty yes of course I am doing what the DWP tell me.... they have me in their grips now.
Jobs...well...have applied for quite a few but now I have turned 60 I think they maybe overlook me, but I am keeping busy, studying my maths & English at college (jobcenter thought it would look good on my CV) ad I didn't take any at school, went straight to work instead. I work in the R.S.P.C.A charity shop and enjoying that,Done Food Safety Course courtesy of Jcenter and also taking Level 1 Photography at the college, hoping to move onto Level 2.
So been quite busy walking to and for to college/town etc feel like I am automated and get up and do what ever is needed without any thought, sort of programmed if you will.
Still miss my dh terribly 17 mnths on, but nothing I can do about it.
Good luck all, with your paths you have to travel

I love being on my own and have always liked my own company. I like the fact of being able to do exactly as I like after being in a very unhappy relationship for a long time. I'm so glad I finally got divorced. It think it's great if you've had a happy relationship and in that case you would find living alone harder. I have lots of friends and a supportive family I see often so feel very lucky and next year I am retiring and moving to the same place they are living in so will see my grandchildren every day and be able to watch them grow up

living alone in my opinion is that there are a few ups but so many more downs, for the past 8 years since I was bereaved of my husband the lonliness is unbearable. Constant reminders of our time together both good and bad continuously 'jump' into my thoughts. After more than 30 years together sharing and now he is no longer with me, "NOT NICE". I could write a book on this subject as know doubt all us widows could, life changes dramatically." DON'T LIKE IT " ......
Cooking a meal, then eating alone, watching a t.v programme..... he's not here to give his opinions, weekends come...... he's not here to share, most of all being in my bed alone without the comfort of his body next to mine..... the times that I complained about his snoring.... if only...... I would give anything to hear him snore again.... miss him so.
So being alone for me is absolutely HORRIBLE and I sympathise with the other widows or such like people in my position. God Bless You All

Sounds like you are keeping yourself busy, biker.

Are you actually on universal credit? I seem to recall you starting a thread about it a while ago. If so, did you have problems with it?
Some people are talking about taking the DWP to court for causing unnecessary suffering with it.

www.theguardian.com/society/2015/nov/18/flaws-universal-credit-system-vulnerable-people-penniless-citizens-advice-study

Hi durhamjen no I ended up going on Jobseekers (although the stupid man at the jobcenter told me to apply for UC and just say I didn't own my own home)!! think UC is being swept in slowly, causing even more confusion and no idea what the idea behind it it.

Yes keeping busy, but still very difficult as my mind is elseware still. What is really annoying me is..the JC are sort of forcing me to look at jobs they they think they can ease me into.."!! the latest being that my support worker (who is just doing her job) keeps asking have a been to this certain cleaning place ( they clean offices in an evening when all have gone home) I have sort of changed the subject each time, but now that she has asked me "have I been to see them" three times, I cannot avoid it no longer, so I am having! to go and see them,also the JC are going to send me on a "cleaning course"! hence once I achieve my certificate I then cannot say I am "not qualified" to apply for these jobs. (method behind their madness) Can't see me going on like this for the next 6/7 yrs......! have applied for around 10/12 jobs various hours/days but not been success , they all seem to want you either 6 am or late shifts.

Lovely day here in Lancashire,(but very cold) going to go to a nature reserve with a friend from the photography class with our cameras. ta ra

How insulting.
How about going in with a cigarette in your hand and dropping fag ash all over the place, just to show you are not suited to being a cleaner.

I need a new camera, I think. What sort have you got for this course?
I have two just small digitals, but I need to replace my Panasonic Lumix, which has decided it does not like the HD cards any more and keeps telling me it will not use them.

Why is it insulting? There's nothing wrong with a cleaning job.

durhamjem I have a Nikon3100 it was what my dd bought me.Some memory cards are out dated now or you may need to reformat it.

I don't really mind cleaning, it's being forced into something, that is prob 10 hours at minimum wage, then have to pay bus fares to get there and back or else walk home through lonely streets, I would be worse off than being on JS.

We shall see.

It's insulting to ask someone our age to go on a cleaning course, I would have thought, to get a certificate to say you know how to clean.
I have done lots of cleaning myself, but never had to go on a course, just tell people how often you do it, and what with. Hygiene courses, yes, for catering, but not cleaning.
Interesting to know who's going to train you to suck eggs, biker.

Thanks for the camera info as well. I have just discovered I am expecting my camera to use a card that is not suited to it. It only takes SD, not SDHC and only 2GB, not 8GB. My son looked it up. Does make me feel an idiot, not realising that.
It's the camera that my husband used, so I did not want there to be anything wrong with it. I have a Nikon Coolpix S3000 which I bought for my husband for his 64th birthday, as he was getting shaky and it had the best reviews for anti shake. It didn't work very well, as his photos of our son's wedding were quite shaky. Then we lost the camera. I found it again after he had died and they were the only photos on it. I now have it permanently on me as it's easy to put in my pocket.
It's not suitable for a photography course, though. My son bought me one last year, an online one.