How many Grandads do we have?

I think GNHQ is the virtual owner of the virtual Shed - but I don't think they'd be too bothered if a couple of couple of elderly miscreants staged a sit-in...

Watch out for bailiffs!

Draw-bridge going up..... we could be here for ages !! And Lils promised a 'Shed Delivery' service..

Will have to look at the Shed thread....

Sitting next to legal eagle at the moment. To get squatters rights G and P wold have to apply do the land registry for title! The legal owner then has some time to appeal!
Who is the legal owner of the virtual shed?

Hi Frankel a few who drop in and out think * pete n gramps* have assumed squatters rights in the shed now ..possession being 9/10 of the law. ..

If it's not a silly question, how many Grandads do you have?

It's never a problem..... well not with Lil's pickled gherkin and wrist action available......

jeni

Jeni!

I thought it was more a question of the grandads keeping it up?

Naughty nellie...your wit is priceless Keep it up!

Lil has plenty of cock-tales to tempt you....her favourite is 'bend me over the bar'
It has a base of crime de menth,crushed ice,vodka and le galeano.a smattering of fag ash and a touch of Benylin Expectorant,shaken vigorously which the locals all love to see as our Lil has always been a mover and shaker,her wrist action is second to none,I believe she has her name on many a subway wall and toilet door as her testimonial.
I believe she will be serving pickled onions and gherkins on the bar for those of you who get nuts stuck under your dentures........

What time are Matrons opening hours?

It depends on how many senna pods she prescribes for you!

Pete, be careful the way you ask for that drink! You could get a "foul/ fowl)response

The draw-bridge is now working gramps but be careful after sampling Lil's new beers, or you will end up with more than trench foot! Those new beers on sale are too much for me....think I'll try a cock-tail instead

If Lil is the bar maiden, would it be umbrage or ullage?
I used to know a bloke who was a barsteward. I think that's what they meant!

Are you saying you have your beer goggles on gramps sounds very much like a description of Matron she's crumbly and lined and fruity,
Would take a pair of beer goggles to make her look a beauty...

I hope you're talking about Lil, there, gramps - otherwise nellie might take umbrage!

My head is getting swimmy, even as I sup the wonder liquors,
Does it go straight to your head, or detatch you from your knickers!

It is a trifle strong, and also very fruity, makes a lined and crumbly frame look like a ravishingly cute beauty!

Better off seeing matron gramps she has a treatment plan being lined up for you and she can also treat trench foot....
If you find a problem with Bishops Hat and lils Ample Bosom she is introducing a lighter ale called Nuns Knickers it is smooth and creamy with a rounded bottom and slips down easily you may prefer that along with a handful of nuts and pork scratchings from the bar....
There is also Monks Habit which can be an uplifting experience when sampled alongside nuns knickers and can be a full and lively handful and not for the inexperienced

Hey you young lady - if you think my nuts are like your toenails, one of us is seriously contused, er, con-- some fink or 'tother.!
My poor brian hurts me thoughts are mis -shapen.
I only had a medium glass of Bishop's Head. I'll have more respect for Bishops now!
Pork scratchings dear soop. Last time I had those, I finished up in Hospital for two weeks, covered in bandages - they didn't arf bloody itch too!

Pete, Where's you bin man?
Did you find out who dug that moat around our shed. It was full of wet water!
I'd only washed me tootsies three weeks before. Bad to do it too often as it makes yer toes shrink!

Salted or unsalted..... soop