How many Grandads do we have?

That doesn't present a problem Ana the soft slapping of her buttocks against her heels and her pungent perfume of catchet that she delicately calls catshit,will always make him aware she is there.....

So thats why Lil kept on to plod to 'just go with the flo' all makes sense now

Probably because he can't see her!

Lil is keen to rid the moon of any genteel clientele as it gives the place a tidy reputation which she is keen to avoid,Lil sees her and her establishment as pioneer territory similar to the wild west bars,that is why Doris was employed as she is good at bashing out a honky tonk tune on an ageing instrument,*Flip Flop* has a previously undisclosed talent she goes down a storm ...and is also good on the banjo,now she has her staff the moon will be banging every night,fortunately she has a tame plod on her payroll,he is paid to turn a blind eye,and as he cannot see out of the other he is good at his job,he also gets a few freebies off of Flip Flop who he is rather sweet on.....

And sometimes not that hushed, either, when passions are excited. Carrying remarks and comments of a raucous and lewd nature have been known to be overheard by the more genteel of the clientele (although there are only one or two, and therefore not worth worrying about, as Lil says....)

...on the other hand, the granddads appear to be besotted with Ample Bosom and form long, unruly queues outside mooning on the square several hours before opening time. Whilst Doris tickles the ivories - with gusto, the hushed man-talk over by the darts board, is altogether earthier...

Lil has finally recruited her piano player Doris whose inspiration in life is jo Brand so much so that she has completed a course of plastic surgery to repair any redeeming features she may have had,so that she is a clone of her idol.
Doris is also a manhater,but has made an exception for Isiah,and already they have formed an unlikely alliance...watch this space as Lil thinks they closely resemble a burgeoning Bonny and Clyde resemblance,It would pay to keep your wits about you,but as I suggested to Lil this would not be good for trade as interest in her Ample Bosom may plummet,she may have to take a cut of their bounty to make this up.

Poor bloke certainly made a spectacle of himself!

nellie...spluttering coffee and shortbread all over the key board. x

Isiah is also best kept away from stirring cocktails....Lil was transported Snaps to her stint as a trainee hairdresser. Long before she had her head turned she was doing a stint in the barber section...an elderly gentleman sat all gowned up and looking presbyopicaly into the distance when Lil noticed a rhythmic movement under his gown and his hands where not visible well what was she to do so she belted him around the ear with her clippers and called Maureen who was in charge of the salon....it appears like snaps he was polishing his spectacles......

nellie my suggestion would be to stick the piano... anywhere out of earshot of the back room. The 'cocktail bar' would be ideal. In light of Isiah's pot collecting skills, I'll be using my own tankard from now on !

Nell, that 'evil look' comment reminds me .. I once had my face slapped by a woman on a train .. she accused me of ogling, and grimacing lewdly at her .. I was in fact putting in a fair amount of effort into cleaning some dried lemonade from my glasses .. in my myopic state my eyes stared blindly into oblivion, and I wasn't even aware that woman had seated herself opposite to me! .. I'll take a slap or a punch when it's deserved but purleeese!!

gramps!

I can sense that you will fit in here nicely Snapshot, as the Actress said to the Bishop!
Don't be fooled by these Ladies mate. Treat them with warmth and respect - like cap. L for Lady. Look out for tricky Lil, and beware of Matron, who specialises in strange cures for ills you hadn't got in the first place!! Good luck Snappy!

Oh Lil can be very accommodating at times.....but it doesn't to proceed with caution she once bit the leg off of a Rottweiler for giving her an evil look...

Don't be giving Lil the two fingers! You might get your marching orders!

snapshotlil said can you send a copy of your cv she would be happy to watch you perform your two fingered strumming,as you are so used to performing in public Rodney the village organist is as we speak fine tuning his organ and Lils piano so we don't get any bum notes... His term not mine...

I've done a bit of tickling in my time but I've never been too clever with the ivories .. when I was a child my gran had a well used and abused upright (beginning to warm to this innuendo lark) in the living room .. I did occasionally manage to knock out the theme tune of Z-Cars with two fingers, but then, there must be lots of people who go no further than two fingers

Good thinking, nellie! I foresee many knees-ups ahead of you!

Thanks jeni and Ana thinking am going to apply for the post of live in piano player at Lils...she has a spare room she is considering doing BB...so may check in and do some people watching ....my favourite hobby....

Oh, poor you, nellie, what a tumultous life you are leading at the moment! It sounds like a proper menagerie at your house - not good timing for a new kitchen!
Please keep us updated - I'm sure the Grandads wouldn't mind you using their shed if you need to get away from it all!

Oh a nice quiet day then?

Yes a piano is an old Joanna....there is a Jenny who goes in Lils who spins after a few sonatogens.....don't know any mules although Lil likes the fluffy ones in the bedroom to match her negligee,but I do know a few asses....it's raining Jeni am amusing myself before facing the gargantuan task of house work in front ofme today my son and his wife have seperated so I have now a returned son plus mutt..a new kitchen being installed next week the old one to be stripped bare,the 7 week summer holiday beginning,and a sick child today,and another visiting for 4 weeks oh and we are having new carpet fitted through out my tiny 2 bed semi.....my BP was sky high yesterday and have to go back Monday and then usual blood tests to accompany.....prefer mooning on the square for its quieter atmosphere...

I know a Jenny used to spin, also a type of mule? But a piano? I though that was a Joanna?