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Grandparents name issues

(106 Posts)
Bunnny Sat 13-Jun-26 18:50:14

I am really angry and annoyed by this. The partial grandmother keeps referring to us as gran and and grandad and then using our first names on the end. I have asked her not to do this and also told her son to ask her to stop.
She does not listen and so it continues and my daughter says what the problem it’s not such a big issue. But I think it is and we feel it is disrespectful to us both. Now their children are starting to us this and we are having to correct them which I don’t think is fair and also confusing for them. Also she just likes to be known has nanna.

Norah Sun 14-Jun-26 13:08:07

Luckygirl3

There are good reasons to go with the flow, top of which for me is that no-one should ever use a child as a pawn in a dispute between adults.

Let it wash by for your sake and theirs.

Indeed. Nothing good will come from argument about names.

Shelflife Sun 14-Jun-26 12:47:08

In the grand scheme of things this is no big deal - however the big deal is you dont like it and paternal GP should respect that!

Shelflife Sun 14-Jun-26 12:18:30

If you don't like it then the paternal grandmother should respect that. Why would she do this!? If she is Nanna and you are Gran and Grandad there is no reason for your first names to be tagged on . Its non of her business how your GC address you and your husband. You are justified in being angry about this! Your daughter doesn't see a problem- she is more likely trying to keep the peace and I understand that. Your SILs mother is being difficult for no reason.
She has not listened to you , would your husband be able to take her to one side and make it clear how you feel? How your GC address you is your decision and most certainly not hers! Good luck.

Grandma70s Sun 14-Jun-26 12:15:28

I’d never even heard the use of the word nanny for a grandmother until I worked in Liverpool. Nanny was definitely a nursemaid to me, still is.

My own grandparents were granny and grandpa, grandfather and grandma.

When my first grandchild was born, the other grandmother asked me if I’d rather be granny or grandma. I chose Grandma, because I had happy memories of my own grandma, so the other one is Granny. She insisted on giving me first choice. Nobody mentioned nannies.

dragonfly46 Sun 14-Jun-26 12:13:25

Sago

Wind up?

Really? How unkind!

I know where OP is coming from. I wanted to be Granny but so did DiL's stepmother. She is now Granny (name) and I am just Granny. My mum was Granny and my children loved her.

OldFrill Sun 14-Jun-26 12:03:02

Call her Ba-nanna

MissAdventure Sun 14-Jun-26 11:59:11

Of course, the children may decide for themselves a name for their nan/gran.
Gangan, noony, nongy...

MissAdventure Sun 14-Jun-26 11:56:25

I've been told (on here) that a nanny denotes a paid mothers' help. smile

Cossy Sun 14-Jun-26 11:56:13

My Granny was from Lancashire. My experience is Nan or Nannie or Nana is more used in the South of England.

We live in the South, but I’ll always be Granny.

Cossy Sun 14-Jun-26 11:52:29

I always had a Granny and Grampa (maternal) and Grandma and Grandad (paternal)

We are Granny and Grampa.

I wouldn’t be to fussed what small children call us.

Sarnia Sun 14-Jun-26 09:49:34

aggie

Use her name tacked on to Nanna ? See how she likes it

Absolutely!

V3ra Sun 14-Jun-26 09:34:35

When my first grandchild was born my mother and mother-in-law were still alive, and both called grandma. I thought three with the same name/title would be too much.

My own paternal grandmother had been Granny so I decided to revive that, much to my daughter's surprise!
I love being Granny, and locally others seem to be grandma or more usually nan/nanny so I'm pleased with my choice.
My daughter was happy to go along with it when I explained my reasons.

Doodledog Sun 14-Jun-26 09:21:50

Maggiemaybe

I’m just amazed that a thread about grandparent names has got this far without someone sniffing that nanny/nanna is a goat or a paid employee. Must be a first. grin

My own grandmother was determined not to be called ‘Nana’ until I started chuntering nananana and claimed I was talking to her grin. She was ‘Nana first name’ to generations of children from that day on. Nobody ever confused her with a goat!

M0nica Sun 14-Jun-26 09:10:48

Maggiemaybe

I’m just amazed that a thread about grandparent names has got this far without someone sniffing that nanny/nanna is a goat or a paid employee. Must be a first. grin

My grandmother used to respond to people who described her as my 'Nan', 'or 'Nanna' by telling them she was my Grandma not an old goat.

I think there is probably a regional variation in what children call their grandparents, or was in the past, I am less sure now

Tuliptree Sun 14-Jun-26 09:01:23

I’m with the OP -names matter and it’s completely upto her and her husband what they want to be called unless they’d chosen identical ones to the other grandparents. But regardless, it should be sorted out between the adults and the other grandmother shouldn’t be doing what she is in front of the grandchildren. It’s actually quite passive aggressive behaviour imo

Maggiemaybe Sun 14-Jun-26 08:46:13

I’m just amazed that a thread about grandparent names has got this far without someone sniffing that nanny/nanna is a goat or a paid employee. Must be a first. grin

Luckygirl3 Sun 14-Jun-26 08:38:33

There are good reasons to go with the flow, top of which for me is that no-one should ever use a child as a pawn in a dispute between adults.

Let it wash by for your sake and theirs.

Fleur20 Sun 14-Jun-26 08:26:09

We had a Gran and Grampa and a Granny and Grandad for our children. Everybody happy!

Sago Sun 14-Jun-26 08:24:37

Wind up?

luluaugust Sun 14-Jun-26 08:21:45

Is wonder if it will eventually get dropped our surname added to granny and grandad was such a mouthful everyone eventually gave up.

Franbern Sun 14-Jun-26 08:11:44

Luckygirl3

Happy healthy GC. Honestly just park this and enjoy them. Life is just too short.

Absolutely. Seems to be trying to cause a problem, where none exists.

kittylester Sun 14-Jun-26 07:39:55

My mum wanted to be Nana but DS1, the eldest grandchild, called her Anna so that's what all the grandchildren called her. She was christened Alice but always called Babs by her large family. Confusing unless you knew.

Calendargirl Sun 14-Jun-26 07:23:47

NotSpaghetti

The point is though that Bunnny doesn't like it and has asked it to stop.

This.

Nothing to do with being grateful to have GC, how other families are estranged, and how often you see them etc etc.

It’s not up to the other GP what you are called.

I agree, start calling her ‘Nanna Sue’ or whatever her name is, see what she thinks to that.

And gently remind the GC how you like to be addressed.

BlueBelle Sun 14-Jun-26 07:22:20

I am the opposite to you Kitty I didn’t want to be Grandma or granny I wanted to be Nan or Nanny but had they chosen to call me Grandma or granny I d have got used to it without a thought

kittylester Sun 14-Jun-26 07:16:22

I didn't want to be a Nan/Nanny/Nana for exactly that reason, Basgetti, and DD1 loved her grandparents so much that she wanted DH to have that name too. I was called Grandma by default. However, DGS 3 Couldn't manage the mouthful and we became Ma and Pa.

But, to be honest, I wouldn't care what they called me so long as they did call me. I think someone else said that.