Watching Your Heroes Die

People who are younger than me dying is always a bit depressing. Anthony was nine years younger than me - why am I still here? But I could say the same about friends and family.

Apologies, haven’t read full thread. Just wanted to give a big shout out for the fabulous Michael Palin. Going strong.

My grandfather lived to nearly 100, and my lovely MIL is now 101. Both have said that apart from the inevitable physical frailty that comes with age (it’s not for sissies, according to my MIL!) the worst thing is that there is nobody left who shares your experiences. In her case, that means nobody who was brought up by a hill farmer in a very remote area. Nobody who remembers being a teenager in the war. Who knows the songs, the films (and cycling home on unlit rural roads afterwards) and so on. People who ate the same foods, wore the same clothes and had the same memories. She is now the only living person who remembers her husband as the young man who loved her. My own husband came along later, but needed to grow up a bit to have his own memories as the eldest child (and anyway, his memories would not be hers!)

I didn’t fully understand my grandfather, as I was a lot younger, but as I’m getting older myself I empathise with MIL. I am 34 years younger than she is, but it’s starting to make sense. I will miss her so much when her time comes.

It's always a shock to see a "hero" as they are now. I only see them in my mind as they were. So it's even more of a shock when one dies. Glad to readnothers feel the same.

I read somewhere that the older family members are at the top of the hill shielding the younger ones from the wind...that's me now up at the top. Still useful hopefully.

It does me too. 💐

At 81 I’ve had a lot of my ‘Heroes’ die recently. Tony Head has hit me hard as he was the best part of the Buffy series that I loved. Have all the series so rerun often. Band Candy being my favourite. Guess many Gransnetters wont have watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer as do not know who Tony Head was. Shame missed a lot of good actors! Another of my Heroes was 77 a while ago so hope he keeps on for a long while yet, Francis Rossi keep on going please?

Doodledog you described so perfectly the importance of 'shared experiences' from your youth. I moved to England in 1999 (from USA) and have made many very good friends here that I feel close to, but every once in a while, I have a real need to call my friend from childhood in Iowa, just to chat and reminisce. She is the only person (besides by children) who remembers my parents, for example. And in fact, her own mother who was a huge influence in my life and lived to be 92, but has now been gone for many years.
On another note, when I turned 70 a few years ago, I told my children that this is the age where no one seems shocked if you die. Anyone in their 60's - people will say "Oh, so young!!" But if you are even 71, they will say "Well, they had a good life." Others may disagree.

Talking of the death of public figures reminds me of being at the in laws for tea; the talk went over 3 year old M’s head until he suddenly piped up, “Don’t you know a lot of dead people, Grandma?”. This thread reminds me of how right he was!

I loved Anthony Head and Sharon Maugham in the Gold Blend ad - one of the few ads I remember!

Yes Hobbycat I've had that exact feeling recently. I'm going to try to enjoy and appreciate some younger personalities who hopefully won't disappear before me!

Schnackie2

Doodledog you described so perfectly the importance of 'shared experiences' from your youth. I moved to England in 1999 (from USA) and have made many very good friends here that I feel close to, but every once in a while, I have a real need to call my friend from childhood in Iowa, just to chat and reminisce. She is the only person (besides by children) who remembers my parents, for example. And in fact, her own mother who was a huge influence in my life and lived to be 92, but has now been gone for many years.
On another note, when I turned 70 a few years ago, I told my children that this is the age where no one seems shocked if you die. Anyone in their 60's - people will say "Oh, so young!!" But if you are even 71, they will say "Well, they had a good life." Others may disagree.

I don’t think that’s the case anymore. I think it’s more 80s now, people who die in their 70s, like Anthony Head, shock me.

Fallingstar

Oh yes, so many have gone, the band members/singers, the actors, the TV presenters, and am sometimes caught off guard believing so-and-so had already died. Is hard to keep track, and of course in my minds eye I see them as their younger selves.
I believe Frankie Valli is still alive, have started counting those still with us, it feels more uplifting.

Frankie Valli still here? Wow!

I agree!

I managed to live in the same place at the same time as Anthony Head not once but twice. We lived in the same village in the early 2000s and in fact he presented a golden jubilee fete prize to my daughter. But on looking him up when he died, I discovered we had spent our early teens very close (within 100 yards) to one another - probably went to the same youth club and parties.

Padstow13

Fallingstar

Oh yes, so many have gone, the band members/singers, the actors, the TV presenters, and am sometimes caught off guard believing so-and-so had already died. Is hard to keep track, and of course in my minds eye I see them as their younger selves.
I believe Frankie Valli is still alive, have started counting those still with us, it feels more uplifting.

Frankie Valli still here? Wow!

Until a couple of years ago we went to see Frankie Vali at the Royal Albert Hall every other year when he was over here. He was in his late 80s and he was amazing. His voice was a good and strong as ever. He is now 92

Such is life.

Yes, it’s the end of eras losing particular heroes. I’m 72 and was 31 when Margot Fonteyn died. Then two years later, Rudolph Nureyev passed. Being a ballet fan, it felt like something special had left the world. There have been others, Meatloaf the rock legend, Tina Turner, Maggie Smith, my best friend and my special little dog Max. I still have a couple of heroes left, so long may they continue to inspire.

SillyNanny123 I watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer, my two boys, 46 and 56, talk of it still.
I am nearly 80 and and all my near relatives have died, also my friends. I have only recently felt this vulnerability and know exactly what you mean.

Sad but that's life...how are they heroes?

Yes, it is sad when people like Alan Rickman die. When you enjoy their work they almost seem part of your life, though of course they aren't. It is strange to be one of the age group that are dying now, when most of us still feel young inside!

Love The Travelling Woodbury’s and sadly only Bob Dylan left of the 5

sunglow12

Love The Travelling Woodbury’s and sadly only Bob Dylan left of the 5

Jeff Lynne is still alive too, thankfully, but three of the five have gone. I really loved Tom Petty, that was a sad day.

Antony Head certainly did'nt look 72.

The Bay city Rollers were not my faves tbh, but having read the above, i looked it up, and No, Erik has not died,in fact he is the only living member i beleive.

SillyNanny321

At 81 I’ve had a lot of my ‘Heroes’ die recently. Tony Head has hit me hard as he was the best part of the Buffy series that I loved. Have all the series so rerun often. Band Candy being my favourite. Guess many Gransnetters wont have watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer as do not know who Tony Head was. Shame missed a lot of good actors! Another of my Heroes was 77 a while ago so hope he keeps on for a long while yet, Francis Rossi keep on going please?

Thankyou for this comment SillyNanny321 I was beginning to wonder if anyone on here had heard of Buffy let alone watched it!
I loved the series, reran it often and bought all the episodes on video from Woolworths when they were released, later on dvd.
Yes Tony Head as Giles was excellent, my favourite episode is Hush, with the Gentlemen.