Upset by negative comments about my appearance

Self esteem is very fragile and is often quite difficult to hang onto. You are worth more than this.

Some men are just not husband material they are too selfish and emotionally cold. You say he doesn't do his share of the day to day stuff and he is clearly disrespectful and insensitive to your feelings. I have a horrible feeling that things will only get worse the longer you stay.

Telling someone they are being over sensitive is a classic ploy, often used by bullies, to gaslight you into thinking that their behaviour is acceptable. It most emphatically is not.

I would tell him to get on his bike and cycle off.

‘He’s no god’
I bet he’s got money. He must have something to have pulled you (and 2 others) in.

It’s certainly not charm, nor kindness.

He’s a bully and sadly you’re realising that.
How you deal with it is up to you.

Leave. I would have left following that first 'feedback' about your looks, your weight, taken advantage of, and gaslight about your lives.

As others have said, make plans, keep them to yourself, and leave.

Is he worried about the age difference. Is he trying to put you down so you feel bad about yourself.
How could anyone prefer a ill underweight woman, he must have known what you are going through and how it would hurt you.
Talk to him, and if he does not change his insensitive ways, I think you should think about leaving as it will get worse.

I'd be upset by what you describe too, and it looks bad to me. I like CariadAgain's idea of a break to think about it. Maybe talk to someone you trust? That helps me to get a clearer picture of whatever I'm thinking about.

Almost 70% of second marriages end in divorced so you don’t have to feel there’s anything wrong in thinking that this may be a mistake.A lot if people have shared your experience.

Think very carefully as to whether you would be happier out of what sounds like a destructive relationship.

Maybe he's following a pattern established with previous wifes?

Wonder if you know any of the circumstances of what happened there - ie as to whether he's "following the same road" again.

Sounds like he's not pulling his weight re running the home either (ie 50% - assuming you both spend similar amounts of time earning the money).

Is it possible to have a few days away somewhere on your own for a bit of a break from him? - ie so that you can think about the situation from a distance.

He sounds very insensitive to the point of being downright cruel, then he gaslights you by saying it is really just you over reacting. No. It really isn’t.
I think is time to mull over just why you are the third wife, hopefully soon to be an ex?

I'm so sorry. I don't know what the answer is or why this man is being so horrible to you but I couldn't just read and leave.

After you being so unwell surely the least he could do would be to want you to recover. Undermining your self confidence is not going to help that!

Plan, and then leave ASAP.
I had exactly the same treatment from my ex. It got worse and worse until all my confidence was totally eroded. It took me a long time to realise what was happening.
Good luck

You are not imagining this , make plans , leave