Perhaps you could just think of this in a different way. I think you could stay where you are and your husband would not be feeling stressed about moving, but in the meantime start a bit of a plan for yourself. I have had cancer twice, and the thought of moving somewhere mid treatment, where I would have to get to know a whole new hospital and doctors and nurses etc., would have been awful to think of. The treatment took so much out of me that at least having people I knew and friends and home remaining the same was a help.
You also have to consider that if you did go for moving, you husband may feel worse once you have moved. This could be simply how the disease is going, but you would always wonder if it had made things worse. So instead could you have a plan to begin , slowly, to sort things out. You could begin with very simply as it is now autumn, looking at your own clothes and whilst doing the usual cleaning and putting away summer things and getting warmer things out, try to get rid of those things that you might have held onto for years and not worn. Then perhaps look at a room by room basis and look to se what you might be able to get rid of. So if you sort of thought , what would I take with me, if we moved, and then made some decisions about decluttering rooms.
Now your husband may not enjoy sorting things out, in which case , you could just start doing your own things and then just say another day, I am going to look through the drawers in the dining room, or whatever and leave him out of it, . My husband was a great sorter out, and quite ruthless about throwing things away or passing them on, and I am the one who hates to lose a single book, but not much worried about furniture. So possibly it might be something he would want to do with you. Either way, you have begun to make things simpler for you both. Then you may get to a point where you feel able to go through important documents, check that they are up to date and still covering what they are meant to. This will mean that you should end up with more peace of mind that you know where documents are, what they say, how up to date they are. I think that doing something like this, is preparing you for the time when you know you are likely to be alone, without actually putting you through the upheaval of moving yourselves. Perhaps you could also speak to your family on your own, face to face and work out if they would be able to come to you and give you more support as you need it. If that is not going to be possible then if you speak to the Macmillan nursers, they have a lot of experience in this area and should be able to give you ideas and advice that might make it a little less frightening for you. If your husband is the one who pays specific bills or does the household accounts , sit with him and ask him to explain how they work, and better than that if he could have a notebook and put dates and amounts and who you pay for this and that , will give you a clearer idea of finances and how it all works over the month. The more you are up to date , the more you know where things are, like at this time of year I am always saying to friends who have moved, do you know where the stopcock, and the fuses are for things. It is much harder when you are fumbling around for things instead of knowing where they are kept.
I hope you and your husband can still have some shared pleasure and time together, and that you will gain confidence in your own ability by learning a few bits and pieces.
